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Thursday, December 31, 2009

Some history cant be erased..though been seem from a distant view..howevr..faded as it is...i can still see faint shadows painting its memory. Least at it or not, as far as eagle can fly..as far as the dolphins can swim...why did i feel alone..in a crowded pavement. As i stroll by the grey pebbled path, many thoughts came to my mind. Least expected was a touch from a stranger under the afternoon scorching sun...whom i used to know with no boundaries, whom told me lots of masked stuff.. which i had never think of spilling out for my price as a friend until now, whom i've asked before...'Will you forget me one day?Will you treat me like you treat the rest of them?' and that passerby stranger said 'No, i will never forget you..nor will i do that.' These words are clear in my mind..but the difference is...before i couldnt see properly just like the way you do...its just like the rest of them, no matter past, present or in the future. Anyway, i accept it. its the lack in me, the feeling i couldnt give you. it was never your fault. dont worry.nobody would understand what i m talking bout..except you..the passerby stranger...


(ntg to do wif ta post..haha)---->

~p/seh..'wh'..make sure you get into tv k...i dun care...giv you a few yrs time...blek..

Wednesday, December 30, 2009

Letting go doesn't mean you are weak,
Sometimes it means that you are strong.

This, is specially written for you.
Sorry for everything I had done in the past. Take care.

Tuesday, December 29, 2009

post

TODAY..
.gonna talk bout my friend...

..Sorry a..bcoz i didnt add ur link or read ur bloggie fr so long..

.today i will make a special post for you.. to compensate...

He is a very nice guy i have met kinda long ody tru online..

This yr form 6..smart guy u noe..

very very helpful...

i m so glad i have him as a friend..seriously(terharu leh..^^)

no matter what, no matter when,

if i got prob...he will sure help out n be thr for me..

truthfully, i m reli thankful..

(although smtyms kek ppl..wahaha..joking lar)

dun mind waste his credit fr me...

luckily din send me a bill..(luckily)

wahaha
n owez read my blog...

no matter it contains wat crap...

rajin ppl..do biology project under the sun oso nvm...
(not scared of the insect he catch)
(please put it away...o.o vry scared..next tym if gt anythng i ask u help me get them k)

Then, after few months din read his bloggie...he din get mad..
(SORRY..o.o)


no matter morning or midnight(wahaha...)
if feel wanna kacau ppl, i will oso find him..(dun mind o..^^)

oso reli bear with me..tho a lil noti.....

this post is for you

~ WEI HONG ~





Thanks

Thanks for everything you gave,
the hand tru the darkness,
the light in the endless shadows.

YOU gave me hope,
when i was down,
YOU help me out,
when i couldnt lift my feet of the ground,
YOU listened to my prayer,
n get me tru the pain,
YOU help me move on,
When i m so cold inside.

Thank you for everything.

Friday, December 25, 2009

it was time to get to sleep..the earliest now...but..i cant. i told myself not to write emo post like tis anymore bcoz my frenz said tat i was starting to get on their nerves. but, i reli couldnt. the feeling of taken aback had me and i cant seem to move on. I have a feeling of pain in myself, past regrets n also worry for the future. The thing that i know is, if this goes on, i dont think i can move on with my life. I felt the screeching pain inside of me, bragging my thoughts on a coarse path.it made my heart felt heavy,really heavy.but, i was thinking, the pain..even it as resolved, i will still feel this pain,no matter what. i had no idea y.really dense feeling of lost.lost in the sea of people, lost in the million miles of self thought. My expression changed day by day till today, where ppl around me realise n actually ask. i tried to change, to be happy, to not be cold..but couldnt help it. Is this the person i m gonna be afta school?is this the person whom is me?i used to talk loads of nonsense...loads of stuff....dun care when or whr.now?when i walk at the pavements, i will be lost in my own thoughts, my own world. please, anyone...help me out...


~feelin of lost~
THE PICS MUZ WAIT O!!!


ok, after finished it started with a kiss 2, i m free.to.blog. OK>yeap! lets start wit pande camp. the girls summit. i actually expect a boring, lame camp n i go fr the sake of the certificate(national cert wo...^^)so i drag my feet thr with farhana, najihah, n samila. bring our lugages which looks like its for a week!! n i m not joking.

first day~ v registered n wow,we got our personnal room(few ppl) n put our bags n stuff. den v rushed down stairs wen ta wisel sounds!!omg, v reli rushed n v slipped into out uniforms. den gues wat??i kena complain bout my incomplete uniform...paiseh la..seriously..den v got group work!! n my group won. fun feeling tho...i juz do it lo....n my group leader is a form 4 gal-siew fen...she is a nice gal o...den i got a manito....she is JASHEN...aww..love ya lots^^ so the fun part...............MID VALLEY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! v got a task there...but v finished in a short while so.............v go SHOPPING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!cool huh? shop sum stuff...okok i admit!lotsa stuff! haha...tis is ta best part! haha...so v went back n do a presentation which i reli very sleepy od tat tym...haha...so at nite....my room has a disco!!wow...farhana even recorded ta video...super funny..n v eat snacks till super full!!!

next day~dawn, i shared bed wif samila n ltr, i went onto farhana's bed to join her..haha....n woke up erly bcoz ta alarm rung...lotsa penampilan talks....n like fun run...smthn lyk amzing race like tat lo.....den at nite,got group work n presentation..super funny!!!!!hahahahah......

nex day...kemas kemas...go home....bfr tat....v got sum ceramah n i found out my another manito...Sharon Edward...she is a nice gal.....^^okies...late od.....i miss thm so much...all my frens there....miss u guys so much!!


p/s~gonna update bout prom, n youth empowerment camp..ttfn

Thursday, December 24, 2009

I dont know why, but seeing the future of mine in front will make me feel so scared. so worried i couldnt grasp my dreams. i know many ppl will say i m dramatic, n so but i couldnt bear without this dream of mine. which i have worked on for many many years. This is the dream i m looking on, to motivate me to study, all these while(farhana noes that^^)especially emo tat time. without this dream, i m nobody. Know, i m looking on my pathway i could go, others than my original dream, the dream that makes me study tru the endless nights, through emotional problem, as long as i think of it, i will regain the strength to move on. This dream of mine, was earlier suggested by parents but they hav never forced me, in fact, they are the most supportive parents in this world for me. They'd never stop me from going to my dreams no matter what since i was small. Being a human being, as a. ordinary child, i changed my ambition many many times, i mean it. after i grow up to upper secondary school, my mind is set. before that time come, ppl around me are worried of me not having an aim in life, usually when they ask me what i want to become when i grow up, i will say i dont know. I can still remember the smile on my mums face when she heard i have already set my dreams in my mind, n i decided it was what she suggested earlier.the only difference is i know what i m doing, i know where i am going. I slowly plan my route n pray hard that god will help me. I spend many years lingering around my mind, not knowing what to do in my life, but 1 thing i finally know, life isnt gonna last forever. the most important thing for me is to make the most out of it. This point, everyone has their own definition of 'making the most out of it'. for me, i have mine too. but, mine, is a lil tough. I dont know how to explain this, but if you know me well, i will know what i m going tru. For me, my life isnt about myself only. i want to make changes in otr ppls life. its complicated. sometimes, i even feel that i m going against my needs, but my mind is set, after i think n consider the life aftr my studies, the values in it. I m willing to do the hard work n spend more sleepless nights for almost a decade to come. I m willing n with gods' blessing, hopefully i will make it. i have discussed my plan with many many parties n people,family,lecturers, students, and frens, in order to get more info, n i know my life ahead of me wouldnt be easy as this is the path i have chosen for myself, but i will do whatever it takes to get there. no matter what happens in the end, at least i tried my best n have no regrets.

Sunday, December 20, 2009

go hear o..very nice^^

HEARD/Ting Jian

你不开心的眼 仿佛将我推到悬崖边缘
Ni bu kai xin de yan Fang fu jiang wo tui dao xuan ya bian yuan
[Your unhappy eyes seem to get ready to push me to the disastrous edge]

距离就算在靠近眼前 我们一样没焦点
Ju li jiu suan zai kao jin yan qian Wo men yi yang mei jiao dian
[Even if the distance is so close to the eyes, we're still losing focus]

没有你的世界 就像寒冬没有春天依畏
Mei you ni de shi jie Jiu xiang han dong mei you chun tian yi wei
[The world without you, is cold, like there is no spring, and is filled with fear]

少了你培在身边
Shao le ni pei zai sheng bian
[The thought of missing you piling up within me]

我的四季只剩下冬天 悲伤 喜悦 回忆不断重演
Wo de si ji zhi sheng xia dong tian Bei shang Xi yue Hui yi bu duan zhong yan
[Winter is what is left from my four seasons, sorrow, happiness, memories continue to evolve]

静下来的世界 有我的思念 也有你的空虚无边
Heard (Ting Jian) / Thơ Ngây OST lyrics on
http://music.yeucahat.com/song/Movie-Game-Ads/19651-Heard~Fang-Ya-Xian.html

Jing xia lai de shi jie You wo de si nian Ye you ni de kong que wu bian
[A calm down world has my longing, also has the boundless emptiness]

你有没有听见 寂寞的声音悄悄在蔓延
Ni you mei you ting jian Ji mo de sheng ying qiao qiao zai man yuan
[Have you heard the sound of loneliness sneaking in and spreading around?]

它住近我们之间 守候着我和你的永远
Ta zhu jing wo men zhi jian Shou hou zhe wo he ni de yong yuan
[It dwells between us, endures our eternity]

你有没有听见 思念的呼唤传遍每条街
Ni you mei you ting jian Si nian de hu huan chuan bian mei tiao jie
[Have you heard the call of longing spreading widely on every street?]

就算你走的再远 累了回头我就在 你的身边
Jiu suan ni zou de zai yuan Lei le hui tou wo jiu zai Ni de sheng bian
[Even if you walk further, once you feel exhausted, when you turn back, I will be here by your side]


Saturday, December 19, 2009

Since my bro went to camp, i would like to talk about him here(shh....dont tell him k, he wont bother to read my blog..so he wun noe wan)..actually,these few days, when he is off to camp, i did nt feel much tho, coz aunts came n i have a taiwan drama to addict on till the crack of dawn(eye bags..o.O)..but when aunts go back, i did not really like so sad or wht la but i feel like i became kinda cold blooded. I dont smile often, i dont talk much, i dont get angry, and all i can say is i, i m cold hearted these few days. this does not mean i dont care my relations, its just that i have no feelings thats all. Happy also the same expression, sad oso the same expression, angry oso same expression. I m not the type who show 'face' or simpler, expression. Any feelings(that i can bear)i will keep to myself , i dont throw tantrums or 'merajuk'(yeah gy, exception to you k!) most of the time. ok. out of topic already. the point is, i realise that my bro has played an important role in my life n i appreciate him lots...^^ with him, i have sum1 to argue with once in a while, sum1 with jokes to laugh to, sum1 to nag to n make me felt like a sister, sum1 that i can gv advice n well,ignore the times whr i felt sleepy k..sum1 to make me cheer up again(yalar yalar cute la u) out of nonsense stuff, sum1 to help me with chores. With my bro around, i have expression. Nw i realise even he is away fr a few days, i felt witht him, i will grow up into a cold blooded girl, a person whom has no feelings, a person whom is hard, a person tht will do only the basic thngs to survive n lock herself in the room whnevr thrs time. now, wanna say, thanks wayne...you are the best bro any1 can get....love you lots...^^

Friday, December 18, 2009

TODAYS PROM WAS SO COOL!!!!!!!!!!seriously i dont noe wats goin on but its so nice n we hit ta dance floor till 12 am! wow....my first tym tho...dance like mad..dun care who ask oso....really felt like so...free. wow.cool....dance our 'fsquare dance with FARHANA'hahahhahahhatell u, we laugh like mad ppl!!! omg...n most important part.......CAMWHORE reallilyk mad people!!!!!!!!wit ta fish,with ta food, with ta cake...so called jealous of their cuteness...adui!n v even recorded*our walk up ta stair*hahahahahhahha/......gonna upload soon...wahahaha....for more news, go to http://www.etudeofthefsquare.blogspot.com


pics gonna be uploaded soon....sleepy now..n feet r kinda pain...so...ciaoz^^

Friday, December 11, 2009

SPM

This is a little 'late' but still wanna say it......

SPM IS OVER!!! I REPEAT.....SPM IS OVER!!!


All this while's effort, those sleepless nights, the eyebags, the lights which accompany me to bed(didnt realise i fall asleep), caffein shot in the evenings or tea, resist temptations, movies,all those pages in the book i've flipped(have a look at my unique and exquisite history book),all notes,all exercises n all concentration, i have finished everything already!! I can barely believe it..now, i still feel guilty when i watch television whole day(not that i like it but i dun have anythng btter to do),blogging is fun,and well,gotta watch out my diet..hahaha I am gonna take license too in few weeks time, n yeah baby, i will tour around the town(dont remind me about the fuel though.=.=) AND i m 17 going on 18!feel kinda old..haha...i still feel the exhaustion though and migraine came these few nights.I hope it will run off in the next few days(and i thought it was the caffein's fault) I m gonna miss my dear school, teachers(thank you a lot...)and friends, and those crazy stuff we did together, seriously i dont think i will ever find any1 like them...they are the bestest frens you can find! I LOVE YOU GUYS!!! NOw hols,i m gonna start sketching my plan...muahaha..THANKS FOR EVERYTHING TEACHER,I WILL MISS YOU SO MUCH
.(this pic i shud put long tym ago, but have upload to pc...)







Thursday, December 10, 2009

My route



Its has been a long year. long way to come ahead. long dwindling route
for me to
choose on my future life. since its almost christmas, i might as
well call it a
frozen snowy road in front of me waiting to be walked on. In
the poem 'the road
not taken', signifies me in my life, the pathway i am on.
Well, an ordinary girl
like me wont do much harm to anybody right?(except to
my bro) yeah, indeed, a
never ending journey for decades to come, waiting
for me, to be studied as my
journey that i chose to be a doctor in future.
my unnoticable in my life,as
simple as i am, is how complex i am inside. i
have no idea where this
'enthusiasm'come from. but indeed, my life journey
was never easy especially
through out this final year in school, challenging
bumpy road i had went tru hav
i?people walking by my sides, frens all have
yet to be parted now.at least till
wew meet again in a decade?2
decades?(ignore the fact that we will meet at the
'big'result day, oh yeah
man, i m so nervous.) i also had no idea where my
emoness come from, maybe i
adopted this 'habit' in a dream?but 1 thing i am
sure, nobody would like it
as i reli want it to go away.seriously, i dont know
why my bro can be so
'hoi sam guo' all the time.haha.=)..^^V..there he goes
again. i will regret
over small small stuff,even tiniest mistake, it seems lyk i
cant
accept the nature of a human whom always do mistakes have i?i just
cant, dont know why though.Just gotta get tru it and move on like every
homosapien does out there. hopefully. i dont want regret my life. the life others have been living so nicely,happy. sometimes, i am jealous.jealous of lack of feelings in otr ppl, but too much in me. I can see the gradient between me and allmy friends. Theres good thing to all this though.For this, am grateful. Thank you.

Sunday, December 6, 2009

  • I 've woke up feeling empty, lost. Dreaming related dreams one after another, torturing me although i had let go. Not joking, i kept dreaming the same type of dream few nights after another, making me awake early of dawn, hoping its not true. Dreams aren't always what you think they are. when i woke up, a little dssappointment kicks in but, i m so thankful that what happen was just a dream. Even in my illusion world i can feel the torture like how i did when i m in reality. The pain. Thankfully, as time passes by, i no longer dream the same torturing dream. It gets better. and better, fader day by day. No longer wake up drenched with piles of hurt nor do i wake up feeling alone. Well, normal emo-ness ya still there(emo whr can go away wan =.=)..but the rest, i m glad. ^^

    OKAY,DONE....
  • now.......................................................


    VISIT
  • i will remind u guys frm tym to tme....you wll know why
  • tata^^

Thursday, November 26, 2009

future

  • Its here and its gonna end, i question myself of what i regret. now its too late. i have no idea. i again ask myself, will my dreams be pursued or left behind. I'd never second thought my dreams to take up medicine course whtr i get JPA or matrix or not.with god's willing n blessing, i pray hard so god can help me. without scholarship, i will still pursue my dreams, maybe cut ta cost of living first. taking up loan which will get me decades to pay. now, i have no idea whtr this road is still open for me. i have done many mistakes in my life and i dont want thus to be one of them. SPM~the pathway for my future. i dont know whtr the future stil hold the same wish i did when i first found my goal. I dont know.

Sunday, November 1, 2009

Dream

A dream I dreamt yesterday after studying biology..
Had no idea why.....
I was walking through the brightly lit pavement at night. The cold wind slaps my face as i pass through the shops which is still busy with visitors. Alone with my thoughts, I walk away. Have no idea when, I've been with a small girl, probably is my daughter or somewhat, she has the most adorable pink cheeks i have ever seen, the most beautiful brown curled hair i have ever touched. We were chased. I ran for my life and brought her along. Somehow, we hid in a balcony. i put her in the wshng mhn and hid behind the baskets filled with clothes. I ask her to close the lid so nobody can ever find her, nobody can ever hurt her. All I want is for her to be safe.The person that we were runnin from found me. I went off with him, hoping the girl would not be caught.I was thrown harsh into a secluded area with hundreds of people. I fall into the arms of someone i knew, someone i really loved. *a** not in reality, but in my dreams. He wore red that day. i was glad i met him. really thankful because i know, if he is there, i will be safe, or dying with him would be a much better option than looking at him suffer n leave me alone. We rushed to the sides of the building. locked. the outer compound is all locked up. I m worried of the girl. really. Than as the subject came into the area, we turned around to avoid its attention. then, he gave, us a line. the doors will be opened for 2 seconds and those who got out will have a chance to escape, only if they come back through the other chamber. i ran my heart out. i screamed for him.*a**!!*a**!!where are you??i saw him running while his eyes are on me. i kept running untill then, when we were out, he held my hand and brought me to the othr chmbr. We made it. At that moment, though it was a dream, I felt the pain of losing the one you love. I felt the urge, the need to keep your loved once alive, no matter what its takes. Its was really hurtful. Then as the subject announce those who made it out may leave, He ask us a question, a person is missing from this class. Who is she? the fear creeps into my spines. I felt so scared that i regret i even brought the girl here. I held his hands and told him what happen to the girl we loved. he held my hands tight.And i woke up.

Monday, October 26, 2009

  • Ya, i miss you so much dearie..today's date
    26th October 2009 I will remember forever o...hope you will remember me after i
    leave school in a month time...because i will...^^ take care yourself, i will
    come to visit frm time to time....maybe that time if your mum let, i mite bring
    you around...or come to my hse fr a visit...thanks lots....okay, gotta go, i
    need to study...^^


    ~miss ya~

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

TODAY

This post was a draft few weeks ago~

Today, I remembered the moment where I let go of you. I told myself that I will never blog about you anymore in the future for its not worth it as in the past, the memory of how you pierce my heart and shatter it into pieces, so fine that I cant even see the pieces myself. Now, just so you know, I did not blog with pain like I used to.. I blog with freedom that I longed for all these while when I was suffering, now I can get the freedom that I yearned, Thanks to god, family and closest frens, even those i'd never think of, came walking into mylife like they noe me for a long time, and thanks guys, I knew that god send you all to me....i Know. Now, as I walk around in my hse, i saw things that you gave to me, the happiest things and the most painful things, lying around. I saw things I'd never open, put sum courage, open them.look at them, and smile.I m glad this is over. I do. as courageous as i am, I had no time to pack the stuff and keep it in the closet. maybe aftr schools over, I will get sum time, to fade my hurtful past.from sight of others and myself..for once and for all.....


i am free

Saturday, October 17, 2009

To my friend in a private blog whom I really cared~title: You are not alone
msg~ I truly Hope you will read this so you know i m always here for you no matter what happens, even if the world turn their backs on you. you can call me anytym you want.

I truly appreciate your presence in my life. Id never thought i would meet you this year n be friends tru msn. Although we r not close in reality life, but here I hope you know I cared lots bout you. I know your pain as how you have understnd mine. I have been irrational like you..but i thought of my responsibility. I saved myself from seeing any drip of red droplets because I think far and i thought of my reponsibility to myself, family and the world. Never let that happen to you. Never! Its not worth it. I want you in my life as my friend. Dont do that. I dont want to lose you. Those who make you cry doesn't deserve your tears, those who deserve your tears wont make you cry. You have gotta let go of your undissolved past. Let it flow away with your tears.listen, if you cant make him happy, someone else can, and when he is happy, you should be happy. And when he is now happy, you gotta move on, because life is all about moving on for your dreams. Never let that stop you. This is barely the beginning of your life. theres more for you to discover. if you r sad once in a while, its okay. pour it out to a person, maybe me if u feel like it. I hav no idea whtr i deserve to be your friend or not but i m always here for you. I f not to a person, maybe to an object. diary, blog, journal or piano if you play one. So what if your tears pour down on the keys and wet the white, satin felt keys..so what if your tears wet ta piano n drip off....believe it or not, it will make you feel better, because its tears, not red droplets on keys. never do that k..promise me..my friend...
~here for you~

Saturday, October 10, 2009

Equatorial hotel ~2nd part...^^~
Continuation of graduation party.....^^
~me n shantini..p/s ignore my hair ~
~me n keerthana p/s ignore my hair~

~yo chocolate fountain~


~me n food...hahahaha p/s ignore my hair..i tied it up in rush..ya plus sweat~



~First dish..was hungry..nice dishes..haha~
~second dish..got salmon, squid, tuna,lasagna..superb food~





~all the cakes.. cheese cake, tiramisu,swiss roll, pudding,layered,chocolate,fruit..etc~


Eating..p/s ignore hair


~look at the size...hahaha~
alrite,till here first..mite grab more pics soon^^
P/s~ SORRY DEAR THAT I DID NOT HAVE THE CHANCE TO TAKE A PIC WITH YOU TODAY, was really busy that i missed your presence...I M SORRY..WE WILL TRY SUM OTR TYM,DUN WORRY...love ya always^^
~always~
















graduation Day!!

GRADUATION DAY IN SCHOOL AND EQUATORIAL HI TEA(ya right..its deserved to be called a super heavy brunch)

FIRST PART~ Graduation Ceremony in school

After a day of seriously waited day, THE GRADZ day, i end up with ya, swollen toes but most of all......MY TEACHERS AND frenz!!!!! i was so dizzy on thinking wht to wear but end up wearing my mums baju kurung which ya,, i admt..shes got bttr taste den me humai...n changed to a dress ltr because i was freaking sweating! in the morning, took loads of pic in the toilet and pavillion..so excited and panic that i forget to shake pn norlia's hand haha...sorry...and to aishah a.k.a reyoko..mum...sorry that if i was like so panic on stage that i almost froze. and thank god i did not trip..haha..if not it wud be rather embarassing..okay,back to my day..firstly,i walk with TRACY..(though i wore heels, she is still taller than me...and thats the first thing she told me in the morning..=.=)niway, you go girl! to register n get our robes..THANKS TO INTI COLLEGE, we got beautiful GRADUATION coat....(not green,ITS blck,gosh remind me of the piano) den, i took a big round to the toilet after pujuking tracy to come along bcoz she insist to sit and get sum wind..i was like..toilet also can...so i managed after all..^^.n we camwhore like wht...(THOUGH tracy doesnt want...but i made her...THANKS TRACY>>>love ya) i took loads wif KEERTHANA and SHANTiNI(you guys look super pretty...seriously i m honest...) with diviya n janani too^^....many more....hehe...thanks for agreeing to take pichas wif me guys...so aftr kena rushed...i faster walk to the pv..n there is the graduation ceramah n ceremony..theres ta pics..^^then took loads of pic with my dearest teachers n frens...(SOrry fr those hu x sempat....nex tym sure gt chance...gugugu*.* wei hong..i m not a pigeon k ....o.O)then, after i was freakin sweating, i rushed to the toilet to change my clothes...(firstly, bcoz i was wet wif sweat, 2nd, wanna make variety pics ^^..ltr i tell you bout the cinderella issue..if i sempat ...) then, v bertolak to the hotel, i was glad bcoz my feet showing the signs of ....-pain-so i was excited to throw myslf into the food...so much variety!!!!!!!i m not joking...i went few rounds....till in the end..i felt like so bloated n i swallowed a mug of dark coffee...(i added a sachet of EQUAL -sweetener kononya wanna go healthy-but i was lyk drinking herbs...it was bitter n i concluded i liked nescaFE better..-ya ya..i seldom drink...caffeine is a stimulant..not gud for health...)so added some brown sugar n finally, milk...thn its super fragant tat i took all n samila was lyk WAt ta face at me. Samila....dun put too much sugar...i think u stop puting lo....Me~put sum sugar n milk..her~ok..watm still bitter..me~wat?? how many bekas u wan?? her~ its bitter...me~i show the wat ta face....hahahahahahaha...ok....den aftr que-ing n get food MANY TYMS...MANY MANY tyms....v go camwhore!!!see this
~This is me n farhana..(one of my bestest dearest..ignore the fact she is real seng*t)~
~me and frens n teachers..love all of you~
~najihah, me, samila,pn yusnaini,baby,humai,umai~
~pn rohana n us~
~bee li n I~
~Navee givin speech..ya ya i noe..cant see her face...sorry..o.O
~5 BERLIANS~
~beauty peagant~
~in toilet..look at Loh Ling's hand..hahaha~
~Reyoko n Me~
~Pn hasni n I~
~Yaya...our class again...I LOVE YOU GUYS ^^~
~Nazeerah, me n baby~
~wow..i look weird~
me, navee n mei theng..p/s got light effect..hahaha..
~Kalai n I..lalala~
~me n humai~
~YEAH N SUSU~

















Tuesday, October 6, 2009

Is this the price?

To you

Is this the price,
I shall have to pay,
For lending your sight,
Of me I would say?

Is this the price,
I have to bear,
For you are my friend,
No matter what you do till the end?

Is this the price,
I have to face,
From now and for on,
Thats all i could say?

Is this the price,
Though I stand by you,
for now and for ever,
no matter what happens,
Though deep i felt a crust of stabbing pain,
But it seems too dull,
I am nothing to you at all.


Sorry

Sorry for the lack of faith,
sorry for the lack of my grace,
Sorry for the lack of remembrance,
Sorry for my less.

Sunday, October 4, 2009

HOME DECO EXPO





Look clearly....

so unique..price also unique..

beautiful


i went to exhibition..for home deco...had lotsa walk n tonnes pic...but..i m gonna put up wat i felt interesting only kie....ntg to do bout me..paiseh ...i
went n the shop and take..thn luckily ta shopkeeper din shout or throw boxes at me...coz din ask them first..den so selamba i walk out...yala...i memang 'cha thaw' in hokkien means straight like the log...wat to do..i cant change^^

Saturday, October 3, 2009

To my beloved Weinbach in the corner


you are gone....gone from my life...i want to track you but i couldnt...i miss the time we've spent together, how i lay my fingers on you...how you seem to understand me no matter i was sad, broken,exited r very happy...you seemed to know how to console me each time...no matter with laughters..or my tears spilling over on you...after i spent my time most of the days in the weeks evening with you...aftr that..i feel better...regain my sanity...I dont care people say you are old..you are spoilt or you are out of tune.....For me...you are the best..you are the one for me...i love you...i love your keys...i love the soft velvet feeling brushes my hand my when i play you...although many vandalism has been done...you are perfect in my eyes as new...now that you are gone forever replaced by a new one, a beautiful black yamaha


piano, has a shiny key cover and great pedals, not to mention the golden partial cotton, polystr and velvet cloth on you..and a lock. I can no longer sew some piece of my song into the school...no more..Though with this, i remember YOU , an original wood brown Weinbach, loosened pedal, and labeled white keys with marker pen...and a spoilt lock. Spoilt lock..the reason you brought you to me....dont worry..i will always remember your own classy beauty..the comfort you bring me....the memory you carve in my soul..i will always remember.....

Friday, September 25, 2009

Speech Of Silence



Watch silence of humans' soul,

Not empty as all told,

Look deeper my dear,

For that's what we hold,

Look wiser my dear,

To read the speech of silence.




A small Road



A small road,

ahead of me,

narraowing each and every step,

Brittles every second,

Towards a silvery end,

Undiscovered.



In the darkest moment,

Feel the light,

that once shine me,

Catch the wind,

that once swept me,

Find again the path to reality.



I will rise up,

To watch the spring of summer,

The blooming of blossoms' dew,

The love of humanity.


~2007~
~ Transparent dress, shall be fitted by a dramaqueen~
There are times where life doesnt go your way,
thats when you feel you are alone,
a lonely soul out in the deep dark night,
though its shinning brightly outside,
however not in the inside.
when you whine and sigh,
you expect everyone to shudder away,
maybe miles and miles apart,
for the trouble you are,
for the words you bring.
Then, when you are in misery,
like nothing could save you indeed,
someone step out and lend their ear,
for hours and hours of cries,
not to mention old whiney rhymn,
and "something that crosses the line",
sounds quite silly for me to rewind.
Till today,
i know you will be there,
carving smiles as you go around,
just like before,
i m able to shine on others,
bringing rainbow wherever i go,
walking the lane with you.
All these,
thanks to you,
for being there no matter what i do,
Though i weep or coo,
never once bored frm my company,
never once ever rejected me,
accepting me for who i am inside.
(call me obese then..^^outside what..)
Thus by this,
i promise you,
i will be here with you,
being your support to lay on,
though if the world turn their back on you,
no worries,
i am here for you,
for forever shall come,
for now i conclude,
thanks again to you,
for taking me with feeling no less,
This one is for you,
my transparent dress.
~solar chandelier~

Wednesday, September 23, 2009

Yeah its me again..well it wud be nut if its not me isnt it..yeah..gud news..my nails grown long already but sad..sch is gonna reopen n i gotta cut them off....but at least not now(well i admit i have scratched my piano keys..i din mean it!n my calculator and my brother...i din mean it too!) yeah..i m over it...haha..okok.... you have a lot of other friends out there...its a world for u to discover..(break my words bout wat i told ya ystdy..but only a little..^^)its oky..i understand..i m still here fr you ...see ya if theres tomorrow...


oh dear...a week hols and i m lazy like a pig...gosh...i gotta catch up wif studies soon..hahahha

^^

Sunday, September 20, 2009

I wouldnt know what is goin on with me..frequently..i revert
to the older version of me..though i never change..few years back..i often felt
like i am just a soul in a body of me..like i am watching my life passing
through me in the outside world. I no longer recognise who am i and what am i
doin in this earth surface.its like i am seing the world from the inside of my
soul instead of the outside me, time passing through outside.i no longer
recognise people around me as they are. I question myself, the meaning of my
life..the route i shall take and what is my purpose in the world, living. Its
very simple actually.In this stage of my life, where i actually experience
laziness,well..its a part of human nature i wouldnt object. Its the feeling of
wanting to experience everything. but now, i often feel apart of myself only is
living life as it is..eat, sleep, shopping,reading and other basic living stuff
while the other part of me is watching the other part doing all these to
continue my life as a human. I have no idea what i could do to bring both part
in humn again. still,when i search my role in the world, i realise it wasnt
about myself all the long, it was for others but i am glad. I love my
family..and my friends. In future, i really wanted to do something for
them..now..i would like to push myself to the edge where i can excell and get to
achieve my ambition. By then, i can help more than only a person(myself), i can
help others in the world, those who need me there..my family, friends and other
people here and overboard where countries are striving, where people are
starving, where human beings are pushed to the limit just to survive their live,
just over the minimal living border, unlike here, with abundant of sources and
living helps, people wants more than they can get..its again,human nature.
Maybe, my dreams sounds to high up if you would say, and all i can say is, my
journey wouldnt be easy, it will even be called tough. indeed. but, i promise
myself, my family and the world, i have tried my best, i am trying my best and i
will always try my best. In the end, i will leave the rest to god. I know i am
nothing compared to other great people that i know, saved many, give lives to
many. I know i am just a small character in this puzzle of the world, a
miniscule indeed.unnoticed, but i know, if i made it to my dreams, i will be
able to play my part and purpose in this world. To make the world a better
place. I know people will say what an ordinary girl like me could do, but i will
prove to myself and the world,that i will try my very best to reach them.To
bring hope and touch the lives of others, like how n family and friends
did.Pray for me, to help me to help others. I know its not easy at all, but its
worth the try. Worth the try.

~ReAcHiNg OuT~
its a SUNDAY mornin and i really had nothing to do.. fine..that is not entirely true but you get it dont you...hmm..yeap..dont remind me bout exam...i m still in a numb mode over here..oh yeah!i have something to think about....YOU! (p/s..just say it wouldnt you..i m bored watching the soap opera already...quick...you all dont wanna regret though..and i am entirely happy about it...dont worry...^^sorry bout the interuption though....i am just a curious person..think as if i am not here okay?like invisible..and i will never...NEVER ,NEVER..i repeat NEVER do that again...haha....that will be the last..(What?at least i will try my best..i noe i am damn bzbd..maybe it increases with my age..ya..ya..you are young..i gotta admit..O.O) I AM SO SORRY....and i mean it..seriously....FORGIVE ME OKAY....keke...well....anyway..hmm...j'aime jouer 'reversi online' parce que mon amies parle bien francais avec moi mais ills parle peu anglais...they kinda different from me...and i dont noe who are they anyway...but they are fun..oh ya...talking bout this....still no matter what happens..i still couldnt beat WEI HONG!!reversi master la...but my skills are karat anyway..its up to nothing in the end....sorry! curisity kills! i wanna noe what is goin on with you all..lalala....so excited...but i might not be true..so if you guys felt its true then its true!yeah! that will suffice to make up my day...sunny day......
~CuRiOuS AnD SoRrY~
MSG FR DIFF HUMAN
P./s 1~FORGIVE ME FOR WHAT I HAVE DONE
P/s 2~(I AM STILL A STUDENT>>)^^

Saturday, September 19, 2009

HI!! I am back!^^




HI!!This is my first blog since trials..(almost ended but i am
enjoying myself anyway..i m left with accounts,est and math..which..i am quite
lazy to do rite now..)TRIALS! though it was almost over, i couldnt gain any
satisfaction..the papers were tough for me..i assume i lack of
studying..Well..so decided to do a whole new change to my blog to...well...i hav
no idea why..(I END up get nag n nag by my brother..the whole night..he kept
sighing and i continue with my evil laughs)..GIVE and TAKE see?*smirks*one more
thing, i didnt noe human could sleep like me...like pigs..but its
nice
until...............the receptionist in the office says "why do you look so
pale?"not only her, Samila too...she was bloody worried i will faint and i am
so not joking at her expression. OH YES! and on thursday, since we are like
freebirds,we actually too free that..we played hide and seek with a 5 year old
girl in the library?(fyi, its unoccupied k,v are not that,THAT open)you know, if
with other kids, i might not care that much(i bet i will..) but its DAMIA! I
REPEAT..DAMIA!SHE is so darn cute that no one,i repeat NO ONE
could resist and i mean it.she brought her
coloring book and oh god..did i mention that me n farhana help her colour in
shades and nice?i bet her mum gonna smack us one day for 'helping her' finish
the book.and no matter whr she go, everyone will surround her..(i notice this
when i sat quietly at the corner and watch her).nex time i will show a picture
of her n i m sure you guys couldnt resist too.... but..samila scared her
well..actually, i have no idea y is she scared of her...seriously..haha..she
almost sobbed..i was freaking scared her mum will come n see tis
incident..hahahaha



Friday~my convo wif samila in the restaurant

Me~lets do a study plan for next week


samila~okay


Me~lets start on monday..


Samila~WHat?then what am i gonna do tomorrow?(P/s, she is darn rajin..unlike me..)


Me~please...okok...sunday


samila~nope..saturday


me..~aiya...okok


Samila~start at...7am...


Me~ WHAT?!!??


Samila~okay,9 am then


Me.~haih..ok


Samila~at first i wanna say at 4 am...luckily i din..if not you will faint.


ME~ absolutely true..indeed





(WHY am i so lazy??n now i am onlining like day and night...gosh..)


Okay..picture update..











~So cute la the kid...~







~Random pic before exam..now..there is no need~



~Feel like sleeping~

Thats all..tata^^





Friday, August 28, 2009

Look at the life we're passing tru..everyday......thrs time whn i nid ya thr...i always hope u will be thr fr me....i really hope...like how i want you around..bt i noe tht v r frm diffrnt world..diff age gap...diff time....dff atitude....still....hope is thr....at least for me...to live my life..

Saturday, August 22, 2009

My dreams, i am going for it..i dont care
what it cost..no sleep?no games?no tv?(dont like it anyway)..my sanity?i dont
care..i am goin for my dreams..focused..i want my dreams to come true..i want to
excel in my exam..my future..i grasp my dreams n work for it..i dont care bout
anything anymore..i want to succeed thats all...i am taking my dreams to a whole
new level..to its horizons..i am working on it..i am getting to my dream..to be
a doctor..to make my presence in the world worthwhile...i am grasping my dreams
to my soul and heart...

Tuesday, August 18, 2009

I OFFICIALLY SAY...I MiSs YOU! even one day ditching school make me miss you...u r much younger than i am...but...seriously....i cant wait to walk you to class tomorrow..if that is what it takes..-tell me wen i had enuf of me-thankfully my class ends at 1 pm..it will be just right...but..for now...take care okay...n i make smthng up fr you...hope you will like it...tell me okay if you dont...i will figure up smthng else..enjoy you day...miss you...-i mean it-

MiSs you lots from ta last we met...^^

Thursday, July 23, 2009

To You..

I m really sorry if i have been hurting you...though before i read ur post...i hope you will have faith in me....for whn i say i can read you...i really do...trust me..because all tat you have gone tru is wat i;ve gone tru wif her..sorry...i will shut up...its okay...sorry for being a burden...sorry...i m trying to win the battle inside...thanx for all the support till now....i wont blame you if you want to let go...its ok...i understand....i hope you understand what i m actually fighting in me....sorry...

Thursday, July 16, 2009

yes or no?yes or no?YES OR NO? tell me la...better den u leave me hanging...you wanna play, i oso wanna join in...but i seriously dunno how to play...anyway..seriously...if u dun wanna play...den give up ok?because i dunno how to give you up...its better u r ta one giving me up...now..i really dunno wat i want...if you read tis post.....Please tell me...as soon as u read tis....msg me or smthng...tell me want you want instead...i dunno how will i decide...but please do...tell me..if not...i assume....i m ta one letting you go..

Monday, July 13, 2009

Yeah.....i met you today...so nice feeling....n oso anothr you..wow...seriously...tis is reli ta best day of the week....cant believe i met both of you today...wow...nice feeling...worth all the pain.....nice...i like today.....seriously..
on weekends, at nite...i did not know i was goin out for quite a long time..so after my parents nudge me a while...i went out quickly, not knowing what to wear..and i meant it. so i just grab some old clothes and put on..actually, an old cargo pants and a faded brunette tank top which really dont fit me well.but at that moment i was like who cares anyway, i m not going to see anyone i noe at night out.so i just strolled like a kid in ta mall and as i was about to get back..gudness..my mum met her old friend and i was super shocked and obviously..so embarassed.at that time..i was about to shove myself to the nearby giant box but obviously i did not because all ta excess cost will have to be beared by my mum which obviously gonna ground me for a month or so..so ta lesson is...never assume wat u r gonna wear aldo its near n for a short while....


~faded~

Thursday, July 2, 2009

That day, we had photography session in school in the morning..we had class photo first then we had prefectorial board photography and then ert club..so the most interesting part is...have a look.....by what i meant not only by educated gangster but also nuts...i will miss u guys a lot...really...u all r ta best team partners i've ever had...i love you all....i present you...SMK Convent Kajang's Prefectorial Board Year 2008/2009...^^

Najihah, Rachael, Me, Ah Lai, Ling Ling, Vireen, Shantini, NaVee a.k.a corrup*ed queen, n umai
'tell u a secret...v arrange follow height...sakit hati ni...hahahhahahha except umai..cuz tis arrangement more seragam tats y...haha



Button down ur coats n ....................JUMP!! go guys...took ta same pic for many many times...haha...juz to get ta shot of these...v can be crazy at times...oops...all the times...haha

Vireen, Me, Navee, Shantini, LOh Ling-too tall ody.., Umai, Najihah, Bee Li, Rachael....so happy...i will miss u guys n our board...sad la alisia not here...



coats off......super funny....n cute...




Our prefect board but less people coz not enuf place...take 2nd round n ta photographer say he will do super impose which i dunno wats tat oso....haha..i love you all lots also..but hope ta final pic is nice....^^





Saturday, June 27, 2009

Hey come on~

WHAT ta..
~if you r on the wrong track of life like me, you might feel tis
pic is...not peaceful...though the caption is calm..haih~ ~Tis look like a hope for me..~
i dun wanna mention tis but..hey~when i m bothering your life as much when my life is already so shaky..and now you r saying these..seriously...wen i carried enuf burden on my back plus yours too...ppl r saying its not worth it..i m saying i will do the same for every other prefect..every other soul....its just that i cared more because it is you...i admit..i did care more of you to compare with others ok?you didnt noe how it feels at my place where i m doing my very best to help you..indeed my very best...though i came by rejection..came by conflicts...came by ignorance. Do you notice? do you realise? do you even care? THOUGH YOU DONT NOTICE A BIT.. noe tat you r in water n as if i m just pouring more water in..like i m not helping..i prefer tis as i dun like recognition..like i havent had enough...if others i might as well assume like did not say anything..but i dun mind...anyway..i expected tis since my first day...its just happening a bit out of time tats all....i din expect you to read tis..but again..it doesnt matter...becz i m loosing my feeling..hope you dun push me further...
~hey..~

Thursday, December 31, 2009

Some history cant be erased..though been seem from a distant view..howevr..faded as it is...i can still see faint shadows painting its memory. Least at it or not, as far as eagle can fly..as far as the dolphins can swim...why did i feel alone..in a crowded pavement. As i stroll by the grey pebbled path, many thoughts came to my mind. Least expected was a touch from a stranger under the afternoon scorching sun...whom i used to know with no boundaries, whom told me lots of masked stuff.. which i had never think of spilling out for my price as a friend until now, whom i've asked before...'Will you forget me one day?Will you treat me like you treat the rest of them?' and that passerby stranger said 'No, i will never forget you..nor will i do that.' These words are clear in my mind..but the difference is...before i couldnt see properly just like the way you do...its just like the rest of them, no matter past, present or in the future. Anyway, i accept it. its the lack in me, the feeling i couldnt give you. it was never your fault. dont worry.nobody would understand what i m talking bout..except you..the passerby stranger...


(ntg to do wif ta post..haha)---->

~p/seh..'wh'..make sure you get into tv k...i dun care...giv you a few yrs time...blek..

Wednesday, December 30, 2009

Letting go doesn't mean you are weak,
Sometimes it means that you are strong.

This, is specially written for you.
Sorry for everything I had done in the past. Take care.

Tuesday, December 29, 2009

post

TODAY..
.gonna talk bout my friend...

..Sorry a..bcoz i didnt add ur link or read ur bloggie fr so long..

.today i will make a special post for you.. to compensate...

He is a very nice guy i have met kinda long ody tru online..

This yr form 6..smart guy u noe..

very very helpful...

i m so glad i have him as a friend..seriously(terharu leh..^^)

no matter what, no matter when,

if i got prob...he will sure help out n be thr for me..

truthfully, i m reli thankful..

(although smtyms kek ppl..wahaha..joking lar)

dun mind waste his credit fr me...

luckily din send me a bill..(luckily)

wahaha
n owez read my blog...

no matter it contains wat crap...

rajin ppl..do biology project under the sun oso nvm...
(not scared of the insect he catch)
(please put it away...o.o vry scared..next tym if gt anythng i ask u help me get them k)

Then, after few months din read his bloggie...he din get mad..
(SORRY..o.o)


no matter morning or midnight(wahaha...)
if feel wanna kacau ppl, i will oso find him..(dun mind o..^^)

oso reli bear with me..tho a lil noti.....

this post is for you

~ WEI HONG ~





Thanks

Thanks for everything you gave,
the hand tru the darkness,
the light in the endless shadows.

YOU gave me hope,
when i was down,
YOU help me out,
when i couldnt lift my feet of the ground,
YOU listened to my prayer,
n get me tru the pain,
YOU help me move on,
When i m so cold inside.

Thank you for everything.

Friday, December 25, 2009

it was time to get to sleep..the earliest now...but..i cant. i told myself not to write emo post like tis anymore bcoz my frenz said tat i was starting to get on their nerves. but, i reli couldnt. the feeling of taken aback had me and i cant seem to move on. I have a feeling of pain in myself, past regrets n also worry for the future. The thing that i know is, if this goes on, i dont think i can move on with my life. I felt the screeching pain inside of me, bragging my thoughts on a coarse path.it made my heart felt heavy,really heavy.but, i was thinking, the pain..even it as resolved, i will still feel this pain,no matter what. i had no idea y.really dense feeling of lost.lost in the sea of people, lost in the million miles of self thought. My expression changed day by day till today, where ppl around me realise n actually ask. i tried to change, to be happy, to not be cold..but couldnt help it. Is this the person i m gonna be afta school?is this the person whom is me?i used to talk loads of nonsense...loads of stuff....dun care when or whr.now?when i walk at the pavements, i will be lost in my own thoughts, my own world. please, anyone...help me out...


~feelin of lost~
THE PICS MUZ WAIT O!!!


ok, after finished it started with a kiss 2, i m free.to.blog. OK>yeap! lets start wit pande camp. the girls summit. i actually expect a boring, lame camp n i go fr the sake of the certificate(national cert wo...^^)so i drag my feet thr with farhana, najihah, n samila. bring our lugages which looks like its for a week!! n i m not joking.

first day~ v registered n wow,we got our personnal room(few ppl) n put our bags n stuff. den v rushed down stairs wen ta wisel sounds!!omg, v reli rushed n v slipped into out uniforms. den gues wat??i kena complain bout my incomplete uniform...paiseh la..seriously..den v got group work!! n my group won. fun feeling tho...i juz do it lo....n my group leader is a form 4 gal-siew fen...she is a nice gal o...den i got a manito....she is JASHEN...aww..love ya lots^^ so the fun part...............MID VALLEY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! v got a task there...but v finished in a short while so.............v go SHOPPING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!cool huh? shop sum stuff...okok i admit!lotsa stuff! haha...tis is ta best part! haha...so v went back n do a presentation which i reli very sleepy od tat tym...haha...so at nite....my room has a disco!!wow...farhana even recorded ta video...super funny..n v eat snacks till super full!!!

next day~dawn, i shared bed wif samila n ltr, i went onto farhana's bed to join her..haha....n woke up erly bcoz ta alarm rung...lotsa penampilan talks....n like fun run...smthn lyk amzing race like tat lo.....den at nite,got group work n presentation..super funny!!!!!hahahahah......

nex day...kemas kemas...go home....bfr tat....v got sum ceramah n i found out my another manito...Sharon Edward...she is a nice gal.....^^okies...late od.....i miss thm so much...all my frens there....miss u guys so much!!


p/s~gonna update bout prom, n youth empowerment camp..ttfn

Thursday, December 24, 2009

I dont know why, but seeing the future of mine in front will make me feel so scared. so worried i couldnt grasp my dreams. i know many ppl will say i m dramatic, n so but i couldnt bear without this dream of mine. which i have worked on for many many years. This is the dream i m looking on, to motivate me to study, all these while(farhana noes that^^)especially emo tat time. without this dream, i m nobody. Know, i m looking on my pathway i could go, others than my original dream, the dream that makes me study tru the endless nights, through emotional problem, as long as i think of it, i will regain the strength to move on. This dream of mine, was earlier suggested by parents but they hav never forced me, in fact, they are the most supportive parents in this world for me. They'd never stop me from going to my dreams no matter what since i was small. Being a human being, as a. ordinary child, i changed my ambition many many times, i mean it. after i grow up to upper secondary school, my mind is set. before that time come, ppl around me are worried of me not having an aim in life, usually when they ask me what i want to become when i grow up, i will say i dont know. I can still remember the smile on my mums face when she heard i have already set my dreams in my mind, n i decided it was what she suggested earlier.the only difference is i know what i m doing, i know where i am going. I slowly plan my route n pray hard that god will help me. I spend many years lingering around my mind, not knowing what to do in my life, but 1 thing i finally know, life isnt gonna last forever. the most important thing for me is to make the most out of it. This point, everyone has their own definition of 'making the most out of it'. for me, i have mine too. but, mine, is a lil tough. I dont know how to explain this, but if you know me well, i will know what i m going tru. For me, my life isnt about myself only. i want to make changes in otr ppls life. its complicated. sometimes, i even feel that i m going against my needs, but my mind is set, after i think n consider the life aftr my studies, the values in it. I m willing to do the hard work n spend more sleepless nights for almost a decade to come. I m willing n with gods' blessing, hopefully i will make it. i have discussed my plan with many many parties n people,family,lecturers, students, and frens, in order to get more info, n i know my life ahead of me wouldnt be easy as this is the path i have chosen for myself, but i will do whatever it takes to get there. no matter what happens in the end, at least i tried my best n have no regrets.

Sunday, December 20, 2009

go hear o..very nice^^

HEARD/Ting Jian

你不开心的眼 仿佛将我推到悬崖边缘
Ni bu kai xin de yan Fang fu jiang wo tui dao xuan ya bian yuan
[Your unhappy eyes seem to get ready to push me to the disastrous edge]

距离就算在靠近眼前 我们一样没焦点
Ju li jiu suan zai kao jin yan qian Wo men yi yang mei jiao dian
[Even if the distance is so close to the eyes, we're still losing focus]

没有你的世界 就像寒冬没有春天依畏
Mei you ni de shi jie Jiu xiang han dong mei you chun tian yi wei
[The world without you, is cold, like there is no spring, and is filled with fear]

少了你培在身边
Shao le ni pei zai sheng bian
[The thought of missing you piling up within me]

我的四季只剩下冬天 悲伤 喜悦 回忆不断重演
Wo de si ji zhi sheng xia dong tian Bei shang Xi yue Hui yi bu duan zhong yan
[Winter is what is left from my four seasons, sorrow, happiness, memories continue to evolve]

静下来的世界 有我的思念 也有你的空虚无边
Heard (Ting Jian) / Thơ Ngây OST lyrics on
http://music.yeucahat.com/song/Movie-Game-Ads/19651-Heard~Fang-Ya-Xian.html

Jing xia lai de shi jie You wo de si nian Ye you ni de kong que wu bian
[A calm down world has my longing, also has the boundless emptiness]

你有没有听见 寂寞的声音悄悄在蔓延
Ni you mei you ting jian Ji mo de sheng ying qiao qiao zai man yuan
[Have you heard the sound of loneliness sneaking in and spreading around?]

它住近我们之间 守候着我和你的永远
Ta zhu jing wo men zhi jian Shou hou zhe wo he ni de yong yuan
[It dwells between us, endures our eternity]

你有没有听见 思念的呼唤传遍每条街
Ni you mei you ting jian Si nian de hu huan chuan bian mei tiao jie
[Have you heard the call of longing spreading widely on every street?]

就算你走的再远 累了回头我就在 你的身边
Jiu suan ni zou de zai yuan Lei le hui tou wo jiu zai Ni de sheng bian
[Even if you walk further, once you feel exhausted, when you turn back, I will be here by your side]


Saturday, December 19, 2009

Since my bro went to camp, i would like to talk about him here(shh....dont tell him k, he wont bother to read my blog..so he wun noe wan)..actually,these few days, when he is off to camp, i did nt feel much tho, coz aunts came n i have a taiwan drama to addict on till the crack of dawn(eye bags..o.O)..but when aunts go back, i did not really like so sad or wht la but i feel like i became kinda cold blooded. I dont smile often, i dont talk much, i dont get angry, and all i can say is i, i m cold hearted these few days. this does not mean i dont care my relations, its just that i have no feelings thats all. Happy also the same expression, sad oso the same expression, angry oso same expression. I m not the type who show 'face' or simpler, expression. Any feelings(that i can bear)i will keep to myself , i dont throw tantrums or 'merajuk'(yeah gy, exception to you k!) most of the time. ok. out of topic already. the point is, i realise that my bro has played an important role in my life n i appreciate him lots...^^ with him, i have sum1 to argue with once in a while, sum1 with jokes to laugh to, sum1 to nag to n make me felt like a sister, sum1 that i can gv advice n well,ignore the times whr i felt sleepy k..sum1 to make me cheer up again(yalar yalar cute la u) out of nonsense stuff, sum1 to help me with chores. With my bro around, i have expression. Nw i realise even he is away fr a few days, i felt witht him, i will grow up into a cold blooded girl, a person whom has no feelings, a person whom is hard, a person tht will do only the basic thngs to survive n lock herself in the room whnevr thrs time. now, wanna say, thanks wayne...you are the best bro any1 can get....love you lots...^^

Friday, December 18, 2009

TODAYS PROM WAS SO COOL!!!!!!!!!!seriously i dont noe wats goin on but its so nice n we hit ta dance floor till 12 am! wow....my first tym tho...dance like mad..dun care who ask oso....really felt like so...free. wow.cool....dance our 'fsquare dance with FARHANA'hahahhahahhatell u, we laugh like mad ppl!!! omg...n most important part.......CAMWHORE reallilyk mad people!!!!!!!!wit ta fish,with ta food, with ta cake...so called jealous of their cuteness...adui!n v even recorded*our walk up ta stair*hahahahahhahha/......gonna upload soon...wahahaha....for more news, go to http://www.etudeofthefsquare.blogspot.com


pics gonna be uploaded soon....sleepy now..n feet r kinda pain...so...ciaoz^^

Friday, December 11, 2009

SPM

This is a little 'late' but still wanna say it......

SPM IS OVER!!! I REPEAT.....SPM IS OVER!!!


All this while's effort, those sleepless nights, the eyebags, the lights which accompany me to bed(didnt realise i fall asleep), caffein shot in the evenings or tea, resist temptations, movies,all those pages in the book i've flipped(have a look at my unique and exquisite history book),all notes,all exercises n all concentration, i have finished everything already!! I can barely believe it..now, i still feel guilty when i watch television whole day(not that i like it but i dun have anythng btter to do),blogging is fun,and well,gotta watch out my diet..hahaha I am gonna take license too in few weeks time, n yeah baby, i will tour around the town(dont remind me about the fuel though.=.=) AND i m 17 going on 18!feel kinda old..haha...i still feel the exhaustion though and migraine came these few nights.I hope it will run off in the next few days(and i thought it was the caffein's fault) I m gonna miss my dear school, teachers(thank you a lot...)and friends, and those crazy stuff we did together, seriously i dont think i will ever find any1 like them...they are the bestest frens you can find! I LOVE YOU GUYS!!! NOw hols,i m gonna start sketching my plan...muahaha..THANKS FOR EVERYTHING TEACHER,I WILL MISS YOU SO MUCH
.(this pic i shud put long tym ago, but have upload to pc...)







Thursday, December 10, 2009

My route



Its has been a long year. long way to come ahead. long dwindling route
for me to
choose on my future life. since its almost christmas, i might as
well call it a
frozen snowy road in front of me waiting to be walked on. In
the poem 'the road
not taken', signifies me in my life, the pathway i am on.
Well, an ordinary girl
like me wont do much harm to anybody right?(except to
my bro) yeah, indeed, a
never ending journey for decades to come, waiting
for me, to be studied as my
journey that i chose to be a doctor in future.
my unnoticable in my life,as
simple as i am, is how complex i am inside. i
have no idea where this
'enthusiasm'come from. but indeed, my life journey
was never easy especially
through out this final year in school, challenging
bumpy road i had went tru hav
i?people walking by my sides, frens all have
yet to be parted now.at least till
wew meet again in a decade?2
decades?(ignore the fact that we will meet at the
'big'result day, oh yeah
man, i m so nervous.) i also had no idea where my
emoness come from, maybe i
adopted this 'habit' in a dream?but 1 thing i am
sure, nobody would like it
as i reli want it to go away.seriously, i dont know
why my bro can be so
'hoi sam guo' all the time.haha.=)..^^V..there he goes
again. i will regret
over small small stuff,even tiniest mistake, it seems lyk i
cant
accept the nature of a human whom always do mistakes have i?i just
cant, dont know why though.Just gotta get tru it and move on like every
homosapien does out there. hopefully. i dont want regret my life. the life others have been living so nicely,happy. sometimes, i am jealous.jealous of lack of feelings in otr ppl, but too much in me. I can see the gradient between me and allmy friends. Theres good thing to all this though.For this, am grateful. Thank you.

Sunday, December 6, 2009

  • I 've woke up feeling empty, lost. Dreaming related dreams one after another, torturing me although i had let go. Not joking, i kept dreaming the same type of dream few nights after another, making me awake early of dawn, hoping its not true. Dreams aren't always what you think they are. when i woke up, a little dssappointment kicks in but, i m so thankful that what happen was just a dream. Even in my illusion world i can feel the torture like how i did when i m in reality. The pain. Thankfully, as time passes by, i no longer dream the same torturing dream. It gets better. and better, fader day by day. No longer wake up drenched with piles of hurt nor do i wake up feeling alone. Well, normal emo-ness ya still there(emo whr can go away wan =.=)..but the rest, i m glad. ^^

    OKAY,DONE....
  • now.......................................................


    VISIT
  • i will remind u guys frm tym to tme....you wll know why
  • tata^^

Thursday, November 26, 2009

future

  • Its here and its gonna end, i question myself of what i regret. now its too late. i have no idea. i again ask myself, will my dreams be pursued or left behind. I'd never second thought my dreams to take up medicine course whtr i get JPA or matrix or not.with god's willing n blessing, i pray hard so god can help me. without scholarship, i will still pursue my dreams, maybe cut ta cost of living first. taking up loan which will get me decades to pay. now, i have no idea whtr this road is still open for me. i have done many mistakes in my life and i dont want thus to be one of them. SPM~the pathway for my future. i dont know whtr the future stil hold the same wish i did when i first found my goal. I dont know.

Sunday, November 1, 2009

Dream

A dream I dreamt yesterday after studying biology..
Had no idea why.....
I was walking through the brightly lit pavement at night. The cold wind slaps my face as i pass through the shops which is still busy with visitors. Alone with my thoughts, I walk away. Have no idea when, I've been with a small girl, probably is my daughter or somewhat, she has the most adorable pink cheeks i have ever seen, the most beautiful brown curled hair i have ever touched. We were chased. I ran for my life and brought her along. Somehow, we hid in a balcony. i put her in the wshng mhn and hid behind the baskets filled with clothes. I ask her to close the lid so nobody can ever find her, nobody can ever hurt her. All I want is for her to be safe.The person that we were runnin from found me. I went off with him, hoping the girl would not be caught.I was thrown harsh into a secluded area with hundreds of people. I fall into the arms of someone i knew, someone i really loved. *a** not in reality, but in my dreams. He wore red that day. i was glad i met him. really thankful because i know, if he is there, i will be safe, or dying with him would be a much better option than looking at him suffer n leave me alone. We rushed to the sides of the building. locked. the outer compound is all locked up. I m worried of the girl. really. Than as the subject came into the area, we turned around to avoid its attention. then, he gave, us a line. the doors will be opened for 2 seconds and those who got out will have a chance to escape, only if they come back through the other chamber. i ran my heart out. i screamed for him.*a**!!*a**!!where are you??i saw him running while his eyes are on me. i kept running untill then, when we were out, he held my hand and brought me to the othr chmbr. We made it. At that moment, though it was a dream, I felt the pain of losing the one you love. I felt the urge, the need to keep your loved once alive, no matter what its takes. Its was really hurtful. Then as the subject announce those who made it out may leave, He ask us a question, a person is missing from this class. Who is she? the fear creeps into my spines. I felt so scared that i regret i even brought the girl here. I held his hands and told him what happen to the girl we loved. he held my hands tight.And i woke up.

Monday, October 26, 2009

  • Ya, i miss you so much dearie..today's date
    26th October 2009 I will remember forever o...hope you will remember me after i
    leave school in a month time...because i will...^^ take care yourself, i will
    come to visit frm time to time....maybe that time if your mum let, i mite bring
    you around...or come to my hse fr a visit...thanks lots....okay, gotta go, i
    need to study...^^


    ~miss ya~

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

TODAY

This post was a draft few weeks ago~

Today, I remembered the moment where I let go of you. I told myself that I will never blog about you anymore in the future for its not worth it as in the past, the memory of how you pierce my heart and shatter it into pieces, so fine that I cant even see the pieces myself. Now, just so you know, I did not blog with pain like I used to.. I blog with freedom that I longed for all these while when I was suffering, now I can get the freedom that I yearned, Thanks to god, family and closest frens, even those i'd never think of, came walking into mylife like they noe me for a long time, and thanks guys, I knew that god send you all to me....i Know. Now, as I walk around in my hse, i saw things that you gave to me, the happiest things and the most painful things, lying around. I saw things I'd never open, put sum courage, open them.look at them, and smile.I m glad this is over. I do. as courageous as i am, I had no time to pack the stuff and keep it in the closet. maybe aftr schools over, I will get sum time, to fade my hurtful past.from sight of others and myself..for once and for all.....


i am free

Saturday, October 17, 2009

To my friend in a private blog whom I really cared~title: You are not alone
msg~ I truly Hope you will read this so you know i m always here for you no matter what happens, even if the world turn their backs on you. you can call me anytym you want.

I truly appreciate your presence in my life. Id never thought i would meet you this year n be friends tru msn. Although we r not close in reality life, but here I hope you know I cared lots bout you. I know your pain as how you have understnd mine. I have been irrational like you..but i thought of my responsibility. I saved myself from seeing any drip of red droplets because I think far and i thought of my reponsibility to myself, family and the world. Never let that happen to you. Never! Its not worth it. I want you in my life as my friend. Dont do that. I dont want to lose you. Those who make you cry doesn't deserve your tears, those who deserve your tears wont make you cry. You have gotta let go of your undissolved past. Let it flow away with your tears.listen, if you cant make him happy, someone else can, and when he is happy, you should be happy. And when he is now happy, you gotta move on, because life is all about moving on for your dreams. Never let that stop you. This is barely the beginning of your life. theres more for you to discover. if you r sad once in a while, its okay. pour it out to a person, maybe me if u feel like it. I hav no idea whtr i deserve to be your friend or not but i m always here for you. I f not to a person, maybe to an object. diary, blog, journal or piano if you play one. So what if your tears pour down on the keys and wet the white, satin felt keys..so what if your tears wet ta piano n drip off....believe it or not, it will make you feel better, because its tears, not red droplets on keys. never do that k..promise me..my friend...
~here for you~

Saturday, October 10, 2009

Equatorial hotel ~2nd part...^^~
Continuation of graduation party.....^^
~me n shantini..p/s ignore my hair ~
~me n keerthana p/s ignore my hair~

~yo chocolate fountain~


~me n food...hahahaha p/s ignore my hair..i tied it up in rush..ya plus sweat~



~First dish..was hungry..nice dishes..haha~
~second dish..got salmon, squid, tuna,lasagna..superb food~





~all the cakes.. cheese cake, tiramisu,swiss roll, pudding,layered,chocolate,fruit..etc~


Eating..p/s ignore hair


~look at the size...hahaha~
alrite,till here first..mite grab more pics soon^^
P/s~ SORRY DEAR THAT I DID NOT HAVE THE CHANCE TO TAKE A PIC WITH YOU TODAY, was really busy that i missed your presence...I M SORRY..WE WILL TRY SUM OTR TYM,DUN WORRY...love ya always^^
~always~
















graduation Day!!

GRADUATION DAY IN SCHOOL AND EQUATORIAL HI TEA(ya right..its deserved to be called a super heavy brunch)

FIRST PART~ Graduation Ceremony in school

After a day of seriously waited day, THE GRADZ day, i end up with ya, swollen toes but most of all......MY TEACHERS AND frenz!!!!! i was so dizzy on thinking wht to wear but end up wearing my mums baju kurung which ya,, i admt..shes got bttr taste den me humai...n changed to a dress ltr because i was freaking sweating! in the morning, took loads of pic in the toilet and pavillion..so excited and panic that i forget to shake pn norlia's hand haha...sorry...and to aishah a.k.a reyoko..mum...sorry that if i was like so panic on stage that i almost froze. and thank god i did not trip..haha..if not it wud be rather embarassing..okay,back to my day..firstly,i walk with TRACY..(though i wore heels, she is still taller than me...and thats the first thing she told me in the morning..=.=)niway, you go girl! to register n get our robes..THANKS TO INTI COLLEGE, we got beautiful GRADUATION coat....(not green,ITS blck,gosh remind me of the piano) den, i took a big round to the toilet after pujuking tracy to come along bcoz she insist to sit and get sum wind..i was like..toilet also can...so i managed after all..^^.n we camwhore like wht...(THOUGH tracy doesnt want...but i made her...THANKS TRACY>>>love ya) i took loads wif KEERTHANA and SHANTiNI(you guys look super pretty...seriously i m honest...) with diviya n janani too^^....many more....hehe...thanks for agreeing to take pichas wif me guys...so aftr kena rushed...i faster walk to the pv..n there is the graduation ceramah n ceremony..theres ta pics..^^then took loads of pic with my dearest teachers n frens...(SOrry fr those hu x sempat....nex tym sure gt chance...gugugu*.* wei hong..i m not a pigeon k ....o.O)then, after i was freakin sweating, i rushed to the toilet to change my clothes...(firstly, bcoz i was wet wif sweat, 2nd, wanna make variety pics ^^..ltr i tell you bout the cinderella issue..if i sempat ...) then, v bertolak to the hotel, i was glad bcoz my feet showing the signs of ....-pain-so i was excited to throw myslf into the food...so much variety!!!!!!!i m not joking...i went few rounds....till in the end..i felt like so bloated n i swallowed a mug of dark coffee...(i added a sachet of EQUAL -sweetener kononya wanna go healthy-but i was lyk drinking herbs...it was bitter n i concluded i liked nescaFE better..-ya ya..i seldom drink...caffeine is a stimulant..not gud for health...)so added some brown sugar n finally, milk...thn its super fragant tat i took all n samila was lyk WAt ta face at me. Samila....dun put too much sugar...i think u stop puting lo....Me~put sum sugar n milk..her~ok..watm still bitter..me~wat?? how many bekas u wan?? her~ its bitter...me~i show the wat ta face....hahahahahahaha...ok....den aftr que-ing n get food MANY TYMS...MANY MANY tyms....v go camwhore!!!see this
~This is me n farhana..(one of my bestest dearest..ignore the fact she is real seng*t)~
~me and frens n teachers..love all of you~
~najihah, me, samila,pn yusnaini,baby,humai,umai~
~pn rohana n us~
~bee li n I~
~Navee givin speech..ya ya i noe..cant see her face...sorry..o.O
~5 BERLIANS~
~beauty peagant~
~in toilet..look at Loh Ling's hand..hahaha~
~Reyoko n Me~
~Pn hasni n I~
~Yaya...our class again...I LOVE YOU GUYS ^^~
~Nazeerah, me n baby~
~wow..i look weird~
me, navee n mei theng..p/s got light effect..hahaha..
~Kalai n I..lalala~
~me n humai~
~YEAH N SUSU~

















Tuesday, October 6, 2009

Is this the price?

To you

Is this the price,
I shall have to pay,
For lending your sight,
Of me I would say?

Is this the price,
I have to bear,
For you are my friend,
No matter what you do till the end?

Is this the price,
I have to face,
From now and for on,
Thats all i could say?

Is this the price,
Though I stand by you,
for now and for ever,
no matter what happens,
Though deep i felt a crust of stabbing pain,
But it seems too dull,
I am nothing to you at all.


Sorry

Sorry for the lack of faith,
sorry for the lack of my grace,
Sorry for the lack of remembrance,
Sorry for my less.

Sunday, October 4, 2009

HOME DECO EXPO





Look clearly....

so unique..price also unique..

beautiful


i went to exhibition..for home deco...had lotsa walk n tonnes pic...but..i m gonna put up wat i felt interesting only kie....ntg to do bout me..paiseh ...i
went n the shop and take..thn luckily ta shopkeeper din shout or throw boxes at me...coz din ask them first..den so selamba i walk out...yala...i memang 'cha thaw' in hokkien means straight like the log...wat to do..i cant change^^

Saturday, October 3, 2009

To my beloved Weinbach in the corner


you are gone....gone from my life...i want to track you but i couldnt...i miss the time we've spent together, how i lay my fingers on you...how you seem to understand me no matter i was sad, broken,exited r very happy...you seemed to know how to console me each time...no matter with laughters..or my tears spilling over on you...after i spent my time most of the days in the weeks evening with you...aftr that..i feel better...regain my sanity...I dont care people say you are old..you are spoilt or you are out of tune.....For me...you are the best..you are the one for me...i love you...i love your keys...i love the soft velvet feeling brushes my hand my when i play you...although many vandalism has been done...you are perfect in my eyes as new...now that you are gone forever replaced by a new one, a beautiful black yamaha


piano, has a shiny key cover and great pedals, not to mention the golden partial cotton, polystr and velvet cloth on you..and a lock. I can no longer sew some piece of my song into the school...no more..Though with this, i remember YOU , an original wood brown Weinbach, loosened pedal, and labeled white keys with marker pen...and a spoilt lock. Spoilt lock..the reason you brought you to me....dont worry..i will always remember your own classy beauty..the comfort you bring me....the memory you carve in my soul..i will always remember.....

Friday, September 25, 2009

Speech Of Silence



Watch silence of humans' soul,

Not empty as all told,

Look deeper my dear,

For that's what we hold,

Look wiser my dear,

To read the speech of silence.




A small Road



A small road,

ahead of me,

narraowing each and every step,

Brittles every second,

Towards a silvery end,

Undiscovered.



In the darkest moment,

Feel the light,

that once shine me,

Catch the wind,

that once swept me,

Find again the path to reality.



I will rise up,

To watch the spring of summer,

The blooming of blossoms' dew,

The love of humanity.


~2007~
~ Transparent dress, shall be fitted by a dramaqueen~
There are times where life doesnt go your way,
thats when you feel you are alone,
a lonely soul out in the deep dark night,
though its shinning brightly outside,
however not in the inside.
when you whine and sigh,
you expect everyone to shudder away,
maybe miles and miles apart,
for the trouble you are,
for the words you bring.
Then, when you are in misery,
like nothing could save you indeed,
someone step out and lend their ear,
for hours and hours of cries,
not to mention old whiney rhymn,
and "something that crosses the line",
sounds quite silly for me to rewind.
Till today,
i know you will be there,
carving smiles as you go around,
just like before,
i m able to shine on others,
bringing rainbow wherever i go,
walking the lane with you.
All these,
thanks to you,
for being there no matter what i do,
Though i weep or coo,
never once bored frm my company,
never once ever rejected me,
accepting me for who i am inside.
(call me obese then..^^outside what..)
Thus by this,
i promise you,
i will be here with you,
being your support to lay on,
though if the world turn their back on you,
no worries,
i am here for you,
for forever shall come,
for now i conclude,
thanks again to you,
for taking me with feeling no less,
This one is for you,
my transparent dress.
~solar chandelier~

Wednesday, September 23, 2009

Yeah its me again..well it wud be nut if its not me isnt it..yeah..gud news..my nails grown long already but sad..sch is gonna reopen n i gotta cut them off....but at least not now(well i admit i have scratched my piano keys..i din mean it!n my calculator and my brother...i din mean it too!) yeah..i m over it...haha..okok.... you have a lot of other friends out there...its a world for u to discover..(break my words bout wat i told ya ystdy..but only a little..^^)its oky..i understand..i m still here fr you ...see ya if theres tomorrow...


oh dear...a week hols and i m lazy like a pig...gosh...i gotta catch up wif studies soon..hahahha

^^

Sunday, September 20, 2009

I wouldnt know what is goin on with me..frequently..i revert
to the older version of me..though i never change..few years back..i often felt
like i am just a soul in a body of me..like i am watching my life passing
through me in the outside world. I no longer recognise who am i and what am i
doin in this earth surface.its like i am seing the world from the inside of my
soul instead of the outside me, time passing through outside.i no longer
recognise people around me as they are. I question myself, the meaning of my
life..the route i shall take and what is my purpose in the world, living. Its
very simple actually.In this stage of my life, where i actually experience
laziness,well..its a part of human nature i wouldnt object. Its the feeling of
wanting to experience everything. but now, i often feel apart of myself only is
living life as it is..eat, sleep, shopping,reading and other basic living stuff
while the other part of me is watching the other part doing all these to
continue my life as a human. I have no idea what i could do to bring both part
in humn again. still,when i search my role in the world, i realise it wasnt
about myself all the long, it was for others but i am glad. I love my
family..and my friends. In future, i really wanted to do something for
them..now..i would like to push myself to the edge where i can excell and get to
achieve my ambition. By then, i can help more than only a person(myself), i can
help others in the world, those who need me there..my family, friends and other
people here and overboard where countries are striving, where people are
starving, where human beings are pushed to the limit just to survive their live,
just over the minimal living border, unlike here, with abundant of sources and
living helps, people wants more than they can get..its again,human nature.
Maybe, my dreams sounds to high up if you would say, and all i can say is, my
journey wouldnt be easy, it will even be called tough. indeed. but, i promise
myself, my family and the world, i have tried my best, i am trying my best and i
will always try my best. In the end, i will leave the rest to god. I know i am
nothing compared to other great people that i know, saved many, give lives to
many. I know i am just a small character in this puzzle of the world, a
miniscule indeed.unnoticed, but i know, if i made it to my dreams, i will be
able to play my part and purpose in this world. To make the world a better
place. I know people will say what an ordinary girl like me could do, but i will
prove to myself and the world,that i will try my very best to reach them.To
bring hope and touch the lives of others, like how n family and friends
did.Pray for me, to help me to help others. I know its not easy at all, but its
worth the try. Worth the try.

~ReAcHiNg OuT~
its a SUNDAY mornin and i really had nothing to do.. fine..that is not entirely true but you get it dont you...hmm..yeap..dont remind me bout exam...i m still in a numb mode over here..oh yeah!i have something to think about....YOU! (p/s..just say it wouldnt you..i m bored watching the soap opera already...quick...you all dont wanna regret though..and i am entirely happy about it...dont worry...^^sorry bout the interuption though....i am just a curious person..think as if i am not here okay?like invisible..and i will never...NEVER ,NEVER..i repeat NEVER do that again...haha....that will be the last..(What?at least i will try my best..i noe i am damn bzbd..maybe it increases with my age..ya..ya..you are young..i gotta admit..O.O) I AM SO SORRY....and i mean it..seriously....FORGIVE ME OKAY....keke...well....anyway..hmm...j'aime jouer 'reversi online' parce que mon amies parle bien francais avec moi mais ills parle peu anglais...they kinda different from me...and i dont noe who are they anyway...but they are fun..oh ya...talking bout this....still no matter what happens..i still couldnt beat WEI HONG!!reversi master la...but my skills are karat anyway..its up to nothing in the end....sorry! curisity kills! i wanna noe what is goin on with you all..lalala....so excited...but i might not be true..so if you guys felt its true then its true!yeah! that will suffice to make up my day...sunny day......
~CuRiOuS AnD SoRrY~
MSG FR DIFF HUMAN
P./s 1~FORGIVE ME FOR WHAT I HAVE DONE
P/s 2~(I AM STILL A STUDENT>>)^^

Saturday, September 19, 2009

HI!! I am back!^^




HI!!This is my first blog since trials..(almost ended but i am
enjoying myself anyway..i m left with accounts,est and math..which..i am quite
lazy to do rite now..)TRIALS! though it was almost over, i couldnt gain any
satisfaction..the papers were tough for me..i assume i lack of
studying..Well..so decided to do a whole new change to my blog to...well...i hav
no idea why..(I END up get nag n nag by my brother..the whole night..he kept
sighing and i continue with my evil laughs)..GIVE and TAKE see?*smirks*one more
thing, i didnt noe human could sleep like me...like pigs..but its
nice
until...............the receptionist in the office says "why do you look so
pale?"not only her, Samila too...she was bloody worried i will faint and i am
so not joking at her expression. OH YES! and on thursday, since we are like
freebirds,we actually too free that..we played hide and seek with a 5 year old
girl in the library?(fyi, its unoccupied k,v are not that,THAT open)you know, if
with other kids, i might not care that much(i bet i will..) but its DAMIA! I
REPEAT..DAMIA!SHE is so darn cute that no one,i repeat NO ONE
could resist and i mean it.she brought her
coloring book and oh god..did i mention that me n farhana help her colour in
shades and nice?i bet her mum gonna smack us one day for 'helping her' finish
the book.and no matter whr she go, everyone will surround her..(i notice this
when i sat quietly at the corner and watch her).nex time i will show a picture
of her n i m sure you guys couldnt resist too.... but..samila scared her
well..actually, i have no idea y is she scared of her...seriously..haha..she
almost sobbed..i was freaking scared her mum will come n see tis
incident..hahahaha



Friday~my convo wif samila in the restaurant

Me~lets do a study plan for next week


samila~okay


Me~lets start on monday..


Samila~WHat?then what am i gonna do tomorrow?(P/s, she is darn rajin..unlike me..)


Me~please...okok...sunday


samila~nope..saturday


me..~aiya...okok


Samila~start at...7am...


Me~ WHAT?!!??


Samila~okay,9 am then


Me.~haih..ok


Samila~at first i wanna say at 4 am...luckily i din..if not you will faint.


ME~ absolutely true..indeed





(WHY am i so lazy??n now i am onlining like day and night...gosh..)


Okay..picture update..











~So cute la the kid...~







~Random pic before exam..now..there is no need~



~Feel like sleeping~

Thats all..tata^^





Friday, August 28, 2009

Look at the life we're passing tru..everyday......thrs time whn i nid ya thr...i always hope u will be thr fr me....i really hope...like how i want you around..bt i noe tht v r frm diffrnt world..diff age gap...diff time....dff atitude....still....hope is thr....at least for me...to live my life..

Saturday, August 22, 2009

My dreams, i am going for it..i dont care
what it cost..no sleep?no games?no tv?(dont like it anyway)..my sanity?i dont
care..i am goin for my dreams..focused..i want my dreams to come true..i want to
excel in my exam..my future..i grasp my dreams n work for it..i dont care bout
anything anymore..i want to succeed thats all...i am taking my dreams to a whole
new level..to its horizons..i am working on it..i am getting to my dream..to be
a doctor..to make my presence in the world worthwhile...i am grasping my dreams
to my soul and heart...

Tuesday, August 18, 2009

I OFFICIALLY SAY...I MiSs YOU! even one day ditching school make me miss you...u r much younger than i am...but...seriously....i cant wait to walk you to class tomorrow..if that is what it takes..-tell me wen i had enuf of me-thankfully my class ends at 1 pm..it will be just right...but..for now...take care okay...n i make smthng up fr you...hope you will like it...tell me okay if you dont...i will figure up smthng else..enjoy you day...miss you...-i mean it-

MiSs you lots from ta last we met...^^

Thursday, July 23, 2009

To You..

I m really sorry if i have been hurting you...though before i read ur post...i hope you will have faith in me....for whn i say i can read you...i really do...trust me..because all tat you have gone tru is wat i;ve gone tru wif her..sorry...i will shut up...its okay...sorry for being a burden...sorry...i m trying to win the battle inside...thanx for all the support till now....i wont blame you if you want to let go...its ok...i understand....i hope you understand what i m actually fighting in me....sorry...

Thursday, July 16, 2009

yes or no?yes or no?YES OR NO? tell me la...better den u leave me hanging...you wanna play, i oso wanna join in...but i seriously dunno how to play...anyway..seriously...if u dun wanna play...den give up ok?because i dunno how to give you up...its better u r ta one giving me up...now..i really dunno wat i want...if you read tis post.....Please tell me...as soon as u read tis....msg me or smthng...tell me want you want instead...i dunno how will i decide...but please do...tell me..if not...i assume....i m ta one letting you go..

Monday, July 13, 2009

Yeah.....i met you today...so nice feeling....n oso anothr you..wow...seriously...tis is reli ta best day of the week....cant believe i met both of you today...wow...nice feeling...worth all the pain.....nice...i like today.....seriously..
on weekends, at nite...i did not know i was goin out for quite a long time..so after my parents nudge me a while...i went out quickly, not knowing what to wear..and i meant it. so i just grab some old clothes and put on..actually, an old cargo pants and a faded brunette tank top which really dont fit me well.but at that moment i was like who cares anyway, i m not going to see anyone i noe at night out.so i just strolled like a kid in ta mall and as i was about to get back..gudness..my mum met her old friend and i was super shocked and obviously..so embarassed.at that time..i was about to shove myself to the nearby giant box but obviously i did not because all ta excess cost will have to be beared by my mum which obviously gonna ground me for a month or so..so ta lesson is...never assume wat u r gonna wear aldo its near n for a short while....


~faded~

Thursday, July 2, 2009

That day, we had photography session in school in the morning..we had class photo first then we had prefectorial board photography and then ert club..so the most interesting part is...have a look.....by what i meant not only by educated gangster but also nuts...i will miss u guys a lot...really...u all r ta best team partners i've ever had...i love you all....i present you...SMK Convent Kajang's Prefectorial Board Year 2008/2009...^^

Najihah, Rachael, Me, Ah Lai, Ling Ling, Vireen, Shantini, NaVee a.k.a corrup*ed queen, n umai
'tell u a secret...v arrange follow height...sakit hati ni...hahahhahahha except umai..cuz tis arrangement more seragam tats y...haha



Button down ur coats n ....................JUMP!! go guys...took ta same pic for many many times...haha...juz to get ta shot of these...v can be crazy at times...oops...all the times...haha

Vireen, Me, Navee, Shantini, LOh Ling-too tall ody.., Umai, Najihah, Bee Li, Rachael....so happy...i will miss u guys n our board...sad la alisia not here...



coats off......super funny....n cute...




Our prefect board but less people coz not enuf place...take 2nd round n ta photographer say he will do super impose which i dunno wats tat oso....haha..i love you all lots also..but hope ta final pic is nice....^^





Saturday, June 27, 2009

Hey come on~

WHAT ta..
~if you r on the wrong track of life like me, you might feel tis
pic is...not peaceful...though the caption is calm..haih~ ~Tis look like a hope for me..~
i dun wanna mention tis but..hey~when i m bothering your life as much when my life is already so shaky..and now you r saying these..seriously...wen i carried enuf burden on my back plus yours too...ppl r saying its not worth it..i m saying i will do the same for every other prefect..every other soul....its just that i cared more because it is you...i admit..i did care more of you to compare with others ok?you didnt noe how it feels at my place where i m doing my very best to help you..indeed my very best...though i came by rejection..came by conflicts...came by ignorance. Do you notice? do you realise? do you even care? THOUGH YOU DONT NOTICE A BIT.. noe tat you r in water n as if i m just pouring more water in..like i m not helping..i prefer tis as i dun like recognition..like i havent had enough...if others i might as well assume like did not say anything..but i dun mind...anyway..i expected tis since my first day...its just happening a bit out of time tats all....i din expect you to read tis..but again..it doesnt matter...becz i m loosing my feeling..hope you dun push me further...
~hey..~