future

• Its here and its gonna end, i question myself of what i regret. now its too late. i have no idea. i again ask myself, will my dreams be pursued or left behind. I'd never second thought my dreams to take up medicine course whtr i get JPA or matrix or not.with god's willing n blessing, i pray hard so god can help me. without scholarship, i will still pursue my dreams, maybe cut ta cost of living first. taking up loan which will get me decades to pay. now, i have no idea whtr this road is still open for me. i have done many mistakes in my life and i dont want thus to be one of them. SPM~the pathway for my future. i dont know whtr the future stil hold the same wish i did when i first found my goal. I dont know.

Dream

A dream I dreamt yesterday after studying biology..

Had no idea why.....

I was walking through the brightly lit pavement at night. The cold wind slaps my face as i pass through the shops which is still busy with visitors. Alone with my thoughts, I walk away. Have no idea when, I've been with a small girl, probably is my daughter or somewhat, she has the most adorable pink cheeks i have ever seen, the most beautiful brown curled hair i have ever touched. We were chased. I ran for my life and brought her along. Somehow, we hid in a balcony. i put her in the wshng mhn and hid behind the baskets filled with clothes. I ask her to close the lid so nobody can ever find her, nobody can ever hurt her. All I want is for her to be safe.The person that we were runnin from found me. I went off with him, hoping the girl would not be caught.I was thrown harsh into a secluded area with hundreds of people. I fall into the arms of someone i knew, someone i really loved. *a** not in reality, but in my dreams. He wore red that day. i was glad i met him. really thankful because i know, if he is there, i will be safe, or dying with him would be a much better option than looking at him suffer n leave me alone. We rushed to the sides of the building. locked. the outer compound is all locked up. I m worried of the girl. really. Than as the subject came into the area, we turned around to avoid its attention. then, he gave, us a line. the doors will be opened for 2 seconds and those who got out will have a chance to escape, only if they come back through the other chamber. i ran my heart out. i screamed for him.*a**!!*a**!!where are you??i saw him running while his eyes are on me. i kept running untill then, when we were out, he held my hand and brought me to the othr chmbr. We made it. At that moment, though it was a dream, I felt the pain of losing the one you love. I felt the urge, the need to keep your loved once alive, no matter what its takes. Its was really hurtful. Then as the subject announce those who made it out may leave, He ask us a question, a person is missing from this class. Who is she? the fear creeps into my spines. I felt so scared that i regret i even brought the girl here. I held his hands and told him what happen to the girl we loved. he held my hands tight.And i woke up.