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Thursday, December 31, 2009

Some history cant be erased..though been seem from a distant view..howevr..faded as it is...i can still see faint shadows painting its memory. Least at it or not, as far as eagle can fly..as far as the dolphins can swim...why did i feel alone..in a crowded pavement. As i stroll by the grey pebbled path, many thoughts came to my mind. Least expected was a touch from a stranger under the afternoon scorching sun...whom i used to know with no boundaries, whom told me lots of masked stuff.. which i had never think of spilling out for my price as a friend until now, whom i've asked before...'Will you forget me one day?Will you treat me like you treat the rest of them?' and that passerby stranger said 'No, i will never forget you..nor will i do that.' These words are clear in my mind..but the difference is...before i couldnt see properly just like the way you do...its just like the rest of them, no matter past, present or in the future. Anyway, i accept it. its the lack in me, the feeling i couldnt give you. it was never your fault. dont worry.nobody would understand what i m talking bout..except you..the passerby stranger...


(ntg to do wif ta post..haha)---->

~p/seh..'wh'..make sure you get into tv k...i dun care...giv you a few yrs time...blek..

Wednesday, December 30, 2009

Letting go doesn't mean you are weak,
Sometimes it means that you are strong.

This, is specially written for you.
Sorry for everything I had done in the past. Take care.

Tuesday, December 29, 2009

post

TODAY..
.gonna talk bout my friend...

..Sorry a..bcoz i didnt add ur link or read ur bloggie fr so long..

.today i will make a special post for you.. to compensate...

He is a very nice guy i have met kinda long ody tru online..

This yr form 6..smart guy u noe..

very very helpful...

i m so glad i have him as a friend..seriously(terharu leh..^^)

no matter what, no matter when,

if i got prob...he will sure help out n be thr for me..

truthfully, i m reli thankful..

(although smtyms kek ppl..wahaha..joking lar)

dun mind waste his credit fr me...

luckily din send me a bill..(luckily)

wahaha
n owez read my blog...

no matter it contains wat crap...

rajin ppl..do biology project under the sun oso nvm...
(not scared of the insect he catch)
(please put it away...o.o vry scared..next tym if gt anythng i ask u help me get them k)

Then, after few months din read his bloggie...he din get mad..
(SORRY..o.o)


no matter morning or midnight(wahaha...)
if feel wanna kacau ppl, i will oso find him..(dun mind o..^^)

oso reli bear with me..tho a lil noti.....

this post is for you

~ WEI HONG ~





Thanks

Thanks for everything you gave,
the hand tru the darkness,
the light in the endless shadows.

YOU gave me hope,
when i was down,
YOU help me out,
when i couldnt lift my feet of the ground,
YOU listened to my prayer,
n get me tru the pain,
YOU help me move on,
When i m so cold inside.

Thank you for everything.

Friday, December 25, 2009

it was time to get to sleep..the earliest now...but..i cant. i told myself not to write emo post like tis anymore bcoz my frenz said tat i was starting to get on their nerves. but, i reli couldnt. the feeling of taken aback had me and i cant seem to move on. I have a feeling of pain in myself, past regrets n also worry for the future. The thing that i know is, if this goes on, i dont think i can move on with my life. I felt the screeching pain inside of me, bragging my thoughts on a coarse path.it made my heart felt heavy,really heavy.but, i was thinking, the pain..even it as resolved, i will still feel this pain,no matter what. i had no idea y.really dense feeling of lost.lost in the sea of people, lost in the million miles of self thought. My expression changed day by day till today, where ppl around me realise n actually ask. i tried to change, to be happy, to not be cold..but couldnt help it. Is this the person i m gonna be afta school?is this the person whom is me?i used to talk loads of nonsense...loads of stuff....dun care when or whr.now?when i walk at the pavements, i will be lost in my own thoughts, my own world. please, anyone...help me out...


~feelin of lost~
THE PICS MUZ WAIT O!!!


ok, after finished it started with a kiss 2, i m free.to.blog. OK>yeap! lets start wit pande camp. the girls summit. i actually expect a boring, lame camp n i go fr the sake of the certificate(national cert wo...^^)so i drag my feet thr with farhana, najihah, n samila. bring our lugages which looks like its for a week!! n i m not joking.

first day~ v registered n wow,we got our personnal room(few ppl) n put our bags n stuff. den v rushed down stairs wen ta wisel sounds!!omg, v reli rushed n v slipped into out uniforms. den gues wat??i kena complain bout my incomplete uniform...paiseh la..seriously..den v got group work!! n my group won. fun feeling tho...i juz do it lo....n my group leader is a form 4 gal-siew fen...she is a nice gal o...den i got a manito....she is JASHEN...aww..love ya lots^^ so the fun part...............MID VALLEY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! v got a task there...but v finished in a short while so.............v go SHOPPING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!cool huh? shop sum stuff...okok i admit!lotsa stuff! haha...tis is ta best part! haha...so v went back n do a presentation which i reli very sleepy od tat tym...haha...so at nite....my room has a disco!!wow...farhana even recorded ta video...super funny..n v eat snacks till super full!!!

next day~dawn, i shared bed wif samila n ltr, i went onto farhana's bed to join her..haha....n woke up erly bcoz ta alarm rung...lotsa penampilan talks....n like fun run...smthn lyk amzing race like tat lo.....den at nite,got group work n presentation..super funny!!!!!hahahahah......

nex day...kemas kemas...go home....bfr tat....v got sum ceramah n i found out my another manito...Sharon Edward...she is a nice gal.....^^okies...late od.....i miss thm so much...all my frens there....miss u guys so much!!


p/s~gonna update bout prom, n youth empowerment camp..ttfn

Thursday, December 24, 2009

I dont know why, but seeing the future of mine in front will make me feel so scared. so worried i couldnt grasp my dreams. i know many ppl will say i m dramatic, n so but i couldnt bear without this dream of mine. which i have worked on for many many years. This is the dream i m looking on, to motivate me to study, all these while(farhana noes that^^)especially emo tat time. without this dream, i m nobody. Know, i m looking on my pathway i could go, others than my original dream, the dream that makes me study tru the endless nights, through emotional problem, as long as i think of it, i will regain the strength to move on. This dream of mine, was earlier suggested by parents but they hav never forced me, in fact, they are the most supportive parents in this world for me. They'd never stop me from going to my dreams no matter what since i was small. Being a human being, as a. ordinary child, i changed my ambition many many times, i mean it. after i grow up to upper secondary school, my mind is set. before that time come, ppl around me are worried of me not having an aim in life, usually when they ask me what i want to become when i grow up, i will say i dont know. I can still remember the smile on my mums face when she heard i have already set my dreams in my mind, n i decided it was what she suggested earlier.the only difference is i know what i m doing, i know where i am going. I slowly plan my route n pray hard that god will help me. I spend many years lingering around my mind, not knowing what to do in my life, but 1 thing i finally know, life isnt gonna last forever. the most important thing for me is to make the most out of it. This point, everyone has their own definition of 'making the most out of it'. for me, i have mine too. but, mine, is a lil tough. I dont know how to explain this, but if you know me well, i will know what i m going tru. For me, my life isnt about myself only. i want to make changes in otr ppls life. its complicated. sometimes, i even feel that i m going against my needs, but my mind is set, after i think n consider the life aftr my studies, the values in it. I m willing to do the hard work n spend more sleepless nights for almost a decade to come. I m willing n with gods' blessing, hopefully i will make it. i have discussed my plan with many many parties n people,family,lecturers, students, and frens, in order to get more info, n i know my life ahead of me wouldnt be easy as this is the path i have chosen for myself, but i will do whatever it takes to get there. no matter what happens in the end, at least i tried my best n have no regrets.

Sunday, December 20, 2009

go hear o..very nice^^

HEARD/Ting Jian

你不开心的眼 仿佛将我推到悬崖边缘
Ni bu kai xin de yan Fang fu jiang wo tui dao xuan ya bian yuan
[Your unhappy eyes seem to get ready to push me to the disastrous edge]

距离就算在靠近眼前 我们一样没焦点
Ju li jiu suan zai kao jin yan qian Wo men yi yang mei jiao dian
[Even if the distance is so close to the eyes, we're still losing focus]

没有你的世界 就像寒冬没有春天依畏
Mei you ni de shi jie Jiu xiang han dong mei you chun tian yi wei
[The world without you, is cold, like there is no spring, and is filled with fear]

少了你培在身边
Shao le ni pei zai sheng bian
[The thought of missing you piling up within me]

我的四季只剩下冬天 悲伤 喜悦 回忆不断重演
Wo de si ji zhi sheng xia dong tian Bei shang Xi yue Hui yi bu duan zhong yan
[Winter is what is left from my four seasons, sorrow, happiness, memories continue to evolve]

静下来的世界 有我的思念 也有你的空虚无边
Heard (Ting Jian) / Thơ Ngây OST lyrics on
http://music.yeucahat.com/song/Movie-Game-Ads/19651-Heard~Fang-Ya-Xian.html

Jing xia lai de shi jie You wo de si nian Ye you ni de kong que wu bian
[A calm down world has my longing, also has the boundless emptiness]

你有没有听见 寂寞的声音悄悄在蔓延
Ni you mei you ting jian Ji mo de sheng ying qiao qiao zai man yuan
[Have you heard the sound of loneliness sneaking in and spreading around?]

它住近我们之间 守候着我和你的永远
Ta zhu jing wo men zhi jian Shou hou zhe wo he ni de yong yuan
[It dwells between us, endures our eternity]

你有没有听见 思念的呼唤传遍每条街
Ni you mei you ting jian Si nian de hu huan chuan bian mei tiao jie
[Have you heard the call of longing spreading widely on every street?]

就算你走的再远 累了回头我就在 你的身边
Jiu suan ni zou de zai yuan Lei le hui tou wo jiu zai Ni de sheng bian
[Even if you walk further, once you feel exhausted, when you turn back, I will be here by your side]


Saturday, December 19, 2009

Since my bro went to camp, i would like to talk about him here(shh....dont tell him k, he wont bother to read my blog..so he wun noe wan)..actually,these few days, when he is off to camp, i did nt feel much tho, coz aunts came n i have a taiwan drama to addict on till the crack of dawn(eye bags..o.O)..but when aunts go back, i did not really like so sad or wht la but i feel like i became kinda cold blooded. I dont smile often, i dont talk much, i dont get angry, and all i can say is i, i m cold hearted these few days. this does not mean i dont care my relations, its just that i have no feelings thats all. Happy also the same expression, sad oso the same expression, angry oso same expression. I m not the type who show 'face' or simpler, expression. Any feelings(that i can bear)i will keep to myself , i dont throw tantrums or 'merajuk'(yeah gy, exception to you k!) most of the time. ok. out of topic already. the point is, i realise that my bro has played an important role in my life n i appreciate him lots...^^ with him, i have sum1 to argue with once in a while, sum1 with jokes to laugh to, sum1 to nag to n make me felt like a sister, sum1 that i can gv advice n well,ignore the times whr i felt sleepy k..sum1 to make me cheer up again(yalar yalar cute la u) out of nonsense stuff, sum1 to help me with chores. With my bro around, i have expression. Nw i realise even he is away fr a few days, i felt witht him, i will grow up into a cold blooded girl, a person whom has no feelings, a person whom is hard, a person tht will do only the basic thngs to survive n lock herself in the room whnevr thrs time. now, wanna say, thanks wayne...you are the best bro any1 can get....love you lots...^^

Friday, December 18, 2009

TODAYS PROM WAS SO COOL!!!!!!!!!!seriously i dont noe wats goin on but its so nice n we hit ta dance floor till 12 am! wow....my first tym tho...dance like mad..dun care who ask oso....really felt like so...free. wow.cool....dance our 'fsquare dance with FARHANA'hahahhahahhatell u, we laugh like mad ppl!!! omg...n most important part.......CAMWHORE reallilyk mad people!!!!!!!!wit ta fish,with ta food, with ta cake...so called jealous of their cuteness...adui!n v even recorded*our walk up ta stair*hahahahahhahha/......gonna upload soon...wahahaha....for more news, go to http://www.etudeofthefsquare.blogspot.com


pics gonna be uploaded soon....sleepy now..n feet r kinda pain...so...ciaoz^^

Friday, December 11, 2009

SPM

This is a little 'late' but still wanna say it......

SPM IS OVER!!! I REPEAT.....SPM IS OVER!!!


All this while's effort, those sleepless nights, the eyebags, the lights which accompany me to bed(didnt realise i fall asleep), caffein shot in the evenings or tea, resist temptations, movies,all those pages in the book i've flipped(have a look at my unique and exquisite history book),all notes,all exercises n all concentration, i have finished everything already!! I can barely believe it..now, i still feel guilty when i watch television whole day(not that i like it but i dun have anythng btter to do),blogging is fun,and well,gotta watch out my diet..hahaha I am gonna take license too in few weeks time, n yeah baby, i will tour around the town(dont remind me about the fuel though.=.=) AND i m 17 going on 18!feel kinda old..haha...i still feel the exhaustion though and migraine came these few nights.I hope it will run off in the next few days(and i thought it was the caffein's fault) I m gonna miss my dear school, teachers(thank you a lot...)and friends, and those crazy stuff we did together, seriously i dont think i will ever find any1 like them...they are the bestest frens you can find! I LOVE YOU GUYS!!! NOw hols,i m gonna start sketching my plan...muahaha..THANKS FOR EVERYTHING TEACHER,I WILL MISS YOU SO MUCH
.(this pic i shud put long tym ago, but have upload to pc...)







Thursday, December 10, 2009

My route



Its has been a long year. long way to come ahead. long dwindling route
for me to
choose on my future life. since its almost christmas, i might as
well call it a
frozen snowy road in front of me waiting to be walked on. In
the poem 'the road
not taken', signifies me in my life, the pathway i am on.
Well, an ordinary girl
like me wont do much harm to anybody right?(except to
my bro) yeah, indeed, a
never ending journey for decades to come, waiting
for me, to be studied as my
journey that i chose to be a doctor in future.
my unnoticable in my life,as
simple as i am, is how complex i am inside. i
have no idea where this
'enthusiasm'come from. but indeed, my life journey
was never easy especially
through out this final year in school, challenging
bumpy road i had went tru hav
i?people walking by my sides, frens all have
yet to be parted now.at least till
wew meet again in a decade?2
decades?(ignore the fact that we will meet at the
'big'result day, oh yeah
man, i m so nervous.) i also had no idea where my
emoness come from, maybe i
adopted this 'habit' in a dream?but 1 thing i am
sure, nobody would like it
as i reli want it to go away.seriously, i dont know
why my bro can be so
'hoi sam guo' all the time.haha.=)..^^V..there he goes
again. i will regret
over small small stuff,even tiniest mistake, it seems lyk i
cant
accept the nature of a human whom always do mistakes have i?i just
cant, dont know why though.Just gotta get tru it and move on like every
homosapien does out there. hopefully. i dont want regret my life. the life others have been living so nicely,happy. sometimes, i am jealous.jealous of lack of feelings in otr ppl, but too much in me. I can see the gradient between me and allmy friends. Theres good thing to all this though.For this, am grateful. Thank you.

Sunday, December 6, 2009

  • I 've woke up feeling empty, lost. Dreaming related dreams one after another, torturing me although i had let go. Not joking, i kept dreaming the same type of dream few nights after another, making me awake early of dawn, hoping its not true. Dreams aren't always what you think they are. when i woke up, a little dssappointment kicks in but, i m so thankful that what happen was just a dream. Even in my illusion world i can feel the torture like how i did when i m in reality. The pain. Thankfully, as time passes by, i no longer dream the same torturing dream. It gets better. and better, fader day by day. No longer wake up drenched with piles of hurt nor do i wake up feeling alone. Well, normal emo-ness ya still there(emo whr can go away wan =.=)..but the rest, i m glad. ^^

    OKAY,DONE....
  • now.......................................................


    VISIT
  • i will remind u guys frm tym to tme....you wll know why
  • tata^^

Thursday, December 31, 2009

Some history cant be erased..though been seem from a distant view..howevr..faded as it is...i can still see faint shadows painting its memory. Least at it or not, as far as eagle can fly..as far as the dolphins can swim...why did i feel alone..in a crowded pavement. As i stroll by the grey pebbled path, many thoughts came to my mind. Least expected was a touch from a stranger under the afternoon scorching sun...whom i used to know with no boundaries, whom told me lots of masked stuff.. which i had never think of spilling out for my price as a friend until now, whom i've asked before...'Will you forget me one day?Will you treat me like you treat the rest of them?' and that passerby stranger said 'No, i will never forget you..nor will i do that.' These words are clear in my mind..but the difference is...before i couldnt see properly just like the way you do...its just like the rest of them, no matter past, present or in the future. Anyway, i accept it. its the lack in me, the feeling i couldnt give you. it was never your fault. dont worry.nobody would understand what i m talking bout..except you..the passerby stranger...


(ntg to do wif ta post..haha)---->

~p/seh..'wh'..make sure you get into tv k...i dun care...giv you a few yrs time...blek..

Wednesday, December 30, 2009

Letting go doesn't mean you are weak,
Sometimes it means that you are strong.

This, is specially written for you.
Sorry for everything I had done in the past. Take care.

Tuesday, December 29, 2009

post

TODAY..
.gonna talk bout my friend...

..Sorry a..bcoz i didnt add ur link or read ur bloggie fr so long..

.today i will make a special post for you.. to compensate...

He is a very nice guy i have met kinda long ody tru online..

This yr form 6..smart guy u noe..

very very helpful...

i m so glad i have him as a friend..seriously(terharu leh..^^)

no matter what, no matter when,

if i got prob...he will sure help out n be thr for me..

truthfully, i m reli thankful..

(although smtyms kek ppl..wahaha..joking lar)

dun mind waste his credit fr me...

luckily din send me a bill..(luckily)

wahaha
n owez read my blog...

no matter it contains wat crap...

rajin ppl..do biology project under the sun oso nvm...
(not scared of the insect he catch)
(please put it away...o.o vry scared..next tym if gt anythng i ask u help me get them k)

Then, after few months din read his bloggie...he din get mad..
(SORRY..o.o)


no matter morning or midnight(wahaha...)
if feel wanna kacau ppl, i will oso find him..(dun mind o..^^)

oso reli bear with me..tho a lil noti.....

this post is for you

~ WEI HONG ~





Thanks

Thanks for everything you gave,
the hand tru the darkness,
the light in the endless shadows.

YOU gave me hope,
when i was down,
YOU help me out,
when i couldnt lift my feet of the ground,
YOU listened to my prayer,
n get me tru the pain,
YOU help me move on,
When i m so cold inside.

Thank you for everything.

Friday, December 25, 2009

it was time to get to sleep..the earliest now...but..i cant. i told myself not to write emo post like tis anymore bcoz my frenz said tat i was starting to get on their nerves. but, i reli couldnt. the feeling of taken aback had me and i cant seem to move on. I have a feeling of pain in myself, past regrets n also worry for the future. The thing that i know is, if this goes on, i dont think i can move on with my life. I felt the screeching pain inside of me, bragging my thoughts on a coarse path.it made my heart felt heavy,really heavy.but, i was thinking, the pain..even it as resolved, i will still feel this pain,no matter what. i had no idea y.really dense feeling of lost.lost in the sea of people, lost in the million miles of self thought. My expression changed day by day till today, where ppl around me realise n actually ask. i tried to change, to be happy, to not be cold..but couldnt help it. Is this the person i m gonna be afta school?is this the person whom is me?i used to talk loads of nonsense...loads of stuff....dun care when or whr.now?when i walk at the pavements, i will be lost in my own thoughts, my own world. please, anyone...help me out...


~feelin of lost~
THE PICS MUZ WAIT O!!!


ok, after finished it started with a kiss 2, i m free.to.blog. OK>yeap! lets start wit pande camp. the girls summit. i actually expect a boring, lame camp n i go fr the sake of the certificate(national cert wo...^^)so i drag my feet thr with farhana, najihah, n samila. bring our lugages which looks like its for a week!! n i m not joking.

first day~ v registered n wow,we got our personnal room(few ppl) n put our bags n stuff. den v rushed down stairs wen ta wisel sounds!!omg, v reli rushed n v slipped into out uniforms. den gues wat??i kena complain bout my incomplete uniform...paiseh la..seriously..den v got group work!! n my group won. fun feeling tho...i juz do it lo....n my group leader is a form 4 gal-siew fen...she is a nice gal o...den i got a manito....she is JASHEN...aww..love ya lots^^ so the fun part...............MID VALLEY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! v got a task there...but v finished in a short while so.............v go SHOPPING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!cool huh? shop sum stuff...okok i admit!lotsa stuff! haha...tis is ta best part! haha...so v went back n do a presentation which i reli very sleepy od tat tym...haha...so at nite....my room has a disco!!wow...farhana even recorded ta video...super funny..n v eat snacks till super full!!!

next day~dawn, i shared bed wif samila n ltr, i went onto farhana's bed to join her..haha....n woke up erly bcoz ta alarm rung...lotsa penampilan talks....n like fun run...smthn lyk amzing race like tat lo.....den at nite,got group work n presentation..super funny!!!!!hahahahah......

nex day...kemas kemas...go home....bfr tat....v got sum ceramah n i found out my another manito...Sharon Edward...she is a nice gal.....^^okies...late od.....i miss thm so much...all my frens there....miss u guys so much!!


p/s~gonna update bout prom, n youth empowerment camp..ttfn

Thursday, December 24, 2009

I dont know why, but seeing the future of mine in front will make me feel so scared. so worried i couldnt grasp my dreams. i know many ppl will say i m dramatic, n so but i couldnt bear without this dream of mine. which i have worked on for many many years. This is the dream i m looking on, to motivate me to study, all these while(farhana noes that^^)especially emo tat time. without this dream, i m nobody. Know, i m looking on my pathway i could go, others than my original dream, the dream that makes me study tru the endless nights, through emotional problem, as long as i think of it, i will regain the strength to move on. This dream of mine, was earlier suggested by parents but they hav never forced me, in fact, they are the most supportive parents in this world for me. They'd never stop me from going to my dreams no matter what since i was small. Being a human being, as a. ordinary child, i changed my ambition many many times, i mean it. after i grow up to upper secondary school, my mind is set. before that time come, ppl around me are worried of me not having an aim in life, usually when they ask me what i want to become when i grow up, i will say i dont know. I can still remember the smile on my mums face when she heard i have already set my dreams in my mind, n i decided it was what she suggested earlier.the only difference is i know what i m doing, i know where i am going. I slowly plan my route n pray hard that god will help me. I spend many years lingering around my mind, not knowing what to do in my life, but 1 thing i finally know, life isnt gonna last forever. the most important thing for me is to make the most out of it. This point, everyone has their own definition of 'making the most out of it'. for me, i have mine too. but, mine, is a lil tough. I dont know how to explain this, but if you know me well, i will know what i m going tru. For me, my life isnt about myself only. i want to make changes in otr ppls life. its complicated. sometimes, i even feel that i m going against my needs, but my mind is set, after i think n consider the life aftr my studies, the values in it. I m willing to do the hard work n spend more sleepless nights for almost a decade to come. I m willing n with gods' blessing, hopefully i will make it. i have discussed my plan with many many parties n people,family,lecturers, students, and frens, in order to get more info, n i know my life ahead of me wouldnt be easy as this is the path i have chosen for myself, but i will do whatever it takes to get there. no matter what happens in the end, at least i tried my best n have no regrets.

Sunday, December 20, 2009

go hear o..very nice^^

HEARD/Ting Jian

你不开心的眼 仿佛将我推到悬崖边缘
Ni bu kai xin de yan Fang fu jiang wo tui dao xuan ya bian yuan
[Your unhappy eyes seem to get ready to push me to the disastrous edge]

距离就算在靠近眼前 我们一样没焦点
Ju li jiu suan zai kao jin yan qian Wo men yi yang mei jiao dian
[Even if the distance is so close to the eyes, we're still losing focus]

没有你的世界 就像寒冬没有春天依畏
Mei you ni de shi jie Jiu xiang han dong mei you chun tian yi wei
[The world without you, is cold, like there is no spring, and is filled with fear]

少了你培在身边
Shao le ni pei zai sheng bian
[The thought of missing you piling up within me]

我的四季只剩下冬天 悲伤 喜悦 回忆不断重演
Wo de si ji zhi sheng xia dong tian Bei shang Xi yue Hui yi bu duan zhong yan
[Winter is what is left from my four seasons, sorrow, happiness, memories continue to evolve]

静下来的世界 有我的思念 也有你的空虚无边
Heard (Ting Jian) / Thơ Ngây OST lyrics on
http://music.yeucahat.com/song/Movie-Game-Ads/19651-Heard~Fang-Ya-Xian.html

Jing xia lai de shi jie You wo de si nian Ye you ni de kong que wu bian
[A calm down world has my longing, also has the boundless emptiness]

你有没有听见 寂寞的声音悄悄在蔓延
Ni you mei you ting jian Ji mo de sheng ying qiao qiao zai man yuan
[Have you heard the sound of loneliness sneaking in and spreading around?]

它住近我们之间 守候着我和你的永远
Ta zhu jing wo men zhi jian Shou hou zhe wo he ni de yong yuan
[It dwells between us, endures our eternity]

你有没有听见 思念的呼唤传遍每条街
Ni you mei you ting jian Si nian de hu huan chuan bian mei tiao jie
[Have you heard the call of longing spreading widely on every street?]

就算你走的再远 累了回头我就在 你的身边
Jiu suan ni zou de zai yuan Lei le hui tou wo jiu zai Ni de sheng bian
[Even if you walk further, once you feel exhausted, when you turn back, I will be here by your side]


Saturday, December 19, 2009

Since my bro went to camp, i would like to talk about him here(shh....dont tell him k, he wont bother to read my blog..so he wun noe wan)..actually,these few days, when he is off to camp, i did nt feel much tho, coz aunts came n i have a taiwan drama to addict on till the crack of dawn(eye bags..o.O)..but when aunts go back, i did not really like so sad or wht la but i feel like i became kinda cold blooded. I dont smile often, i dont talk much, i dont get angry, and all i can say is i, i m cold hearted these few days. this does not mean i dont care my relations, its just that i have no feelings thats all. Happy also the same expression, sad oso the same expression, angry oso same expression. I m not the type who show 'face' or simpler, expression. Any feelings(that i can bear)i will keep to myself , i dont throw tantrums or 'merajuk'(yeah gy, exception to you k!) most of the time. ok. out of topic already. the point is, i realise that my bro has played an important role in my life n i appreciate him lots...^^ with him, i have sum1 to argue with once in a while, sum1 with jokes to laugh to, sum1 to nag to n make me felt like a sister, sum1 that i can gv advice n well,ignore the times whr i felt sleepy k..sum1 to make me cheer up again(yalar yalar cute la u) out of nonsense stuff, sum1 to help me with chores. With my bro around, i have expression. Nw i realise even he is away fr a few days, i felt witht him, i will grow up into a cold blooded girl, a person whom has no feelings, a person whom is hard, a person tht will do only the basic thngs to survive n lock herself in the room whnevr thrs time. now, wanna say, thanks wayne...you are the best bro any1 can get....love you lots...^^

Friday, December 18, 2009

TODAYS PROM WAS SO COOL!!!!!!!!!!seriously i dont noe wats goin on but its so nice n we hit ta dance floor till 12 am! wow....my first tym tho...dance like mad..dun care who ask oso....really felt like so...free. wow.cool....dance our 'fsquare dance with FARHANA'hahahhahahhatell u, we laugh like mad ppl!!! omg...n most important part.......CAMWHORE reallilyk mad people!!!!!!!!wit ta fish,with ta food, with ta cake...so called jealous of their cuteness...adui!n v even recorded*our walk up ta stair*hahahahahhahha/......gonna upload soon...wahahaha....for more news, go to http://www.etudeofthefsquare.blogspot.com


pics gonna be uploaded soon....sleepy now..n feet r kinda pain...so...ciaoz^^

Friday, December 11, 2009

SPM

This is a little 'late' but still wanna say it......

SPM IS OVER!!! I REPEAT.....SPM IS OVER!!!


All this while's effort, those sleepless nights, the eyebags, the lights which accompany me to bed(didnt realise i fall asleep), caffein shot in the evenings or tea, resist temptations, movies,all those pages in the book i've flipped(have a look at my unique and exquisite history book),all notes,all exercises n all concentration, i have finished everything already!! I can barely believe it..now, i still feel guilty when i watch television whole day(not that i like it but i dun have anythng btter to do),blogging is fun,and well,gotta watch out my diet..hahaha I am gonna take license too in few weeks time, n yeah baby, i will tour around the town(dont remind me about the fuel though.=.=) AND i m 17 going on 18!feel kinda old..haha...i still feel the exhaustion though and migraine came these few nights.I hope it will run off in the next few days(and i thought it was the caffein's fault) I m gonna miss my dear school, teachers(thank you a lot...)and friends, and those crazy stuff we did together, seriously i dont think i will ever find any1 like them...they are the bestest frens you can find! I LOVE YOU GUYS!!! NOw hols,i m gonna start sketching my plan...muahaha..THANKS FOR EVERYTHING TEACHER,I WILL MISS YOU SO MUCH
.(this pic i shud put long tym ago, but have upload to pc...)







Thursday, December 10, 2009

My route



Its has been a long year. long way to come ahead. long dwindling route
for me to
choose on my future life. since its almost christmas, i might as
well call it a
frozen snowy road in front of me waiting to be walked on. In
the poem 'the road
not taken', signifies me in my life, the pathway i am on.
Well, an ordinary girl
like me wont do much harm to anybody right?(except to
my bro) yeah, indeed, a
never ending journey for decades to come, waiting
for me, to be studied as my
journey that i chose to be a doctor in future.
my unnoticable in my life,as
simple as i am, is how complex i am inside. i
have no idea where this
'enthusiasm'come from. but indeed, my life journey
was never easy especially
through out this final year in school, challenging
bumpy road i had went tru hav
i?people walking by my sides, frens all have
yet to be parted now.at least till
wew meet again in a decade?2
decades?(ignore the fact that we will meet at the
'big'result day, oh yeah
man, i m so nervous.) i also had no idea where my
emoness come from, maybe i
adopted this 'habit' in a dream?but 1 thing i am
sure, nobody would like it
as i reli want it to go away.seriously, i dont know
why my bro can be so
'hoi sam guo' all the time.haha.=)..^^V..there he goes
again. i will regret
over small small stuff,even tiniest mistake, it seems lyk i
cant
accept the nature of a human whom always do mistakes have i?i just
cant, dont know why though.Just gotta get tru it and move on like every
homosapien does out there. hopefully. i dont want regret my life. the life others have been living so nicely,happy. sometimes, i am jealous.jealous of lack of feelings in otr ppl, but too much in me. I can see the gradient between me and allmy friends. Theres good thing to all this though.For this, am grateful. Thank you.

Sunday, December 6, 2009

  • I 've woke up feeling empty, lost. Dreaming related dreams one after another, torturing me although i had let go. Not joking, i kept dreaming the same type of dream few nights after another, making me awake early of dawn, hoping its not true. Dreams aren't always what you think they are. when i woke up, a little dssappointment kicks in but, i m so thankful that what happen was just a dream. Even in my illusion world i can feel the torture like how i did when i m in reality. The pain. Thankfully, as time passes by, i no longer dream the same torturing dream. It gets better. and better, fader day by day. No longer wake up drenched with piles of hurt nor do i wake up feeling alone. Well, normal emo-ness ya still there(emo whr can go away wan =.=)..but the rest, i m glad. ^^

    OKAY,DONE....
  • now.......................................................


    VISIT
  • i will remind u guys frm tym to tme....you wll know why
  • tata^^