Thursday, July 10, 2014
Ours
This childish love of ours, grown a lot ,seen a lot or hurdles as well as the finer sides. This childish love of ours, probably know to give it all, with certain expectations in return. This childish love of ours, probably seen more innocence from us than we really did. This weathered innocent love, is what I hope we can hold to for the rest of our lives. This weathered innocent love, wouldn't expect much in return, as you would say, I define happiness, to love much more than to be loved, for all we give because we know we eventually come around. This weathered innocent love, taught us to love, unconditionally :)
Thursday, July 3, 2014
Hold your breath, because tonight will be the night i will fall for you, over again
Many will have expectations. Some demand to have a tall, dark and handsome. Some demand to have filthy rich Lamborghini with Mont Blancs. Some would prefer Charles Keith solely with a little touch of pink martini every now and then. Some wants simplicity and innocence. Some wants it without strings attached. Some wants it all.
WARNING : ITS GONNA BE A LONG WINDY POST.
Always I've heard of stories, really sweet romantic stories, from those exactly from novels fairytale to those where the world revolved only around them and to those whom sweet steady just perfect. It got me to ponder.
It truly sound so corny for me to write about this at 2am but i just thought i should. I am in a relationship with him for almost 4 years roughly now. Our relationship is far from perfect. I dont know where will we go in the future but one thing for sure, I am game for it.
It was a first, for both of us and me today must admit, we jumped into things. Jumped into a future full of possibilities without second thoughts. All I remember is, I don't want to have what ifs' in the future when i look back that evening. We were young and free. So much of innocence. Is innocence what true love demands? Or is it truly love only after when you think it through and know what and who you really want? But again, will it still be true love if you need to think about it that long? I've quoted this from a really good friend of mine without him knowing but thank you for this. Up to today, I still can't yet get an answer. For us, we started off with pure innocence and revolved around that as we grew too fast for reality and snap out of it. Then it got me thinking back again then. About everything. As we fall back into place, where we really belong.
We don't have love stories like fairytale and in movies. We are not like super rich pair where we can go fine dining in the city every now and then. We don't have a car nor freedom to go for midnight drives by the beaches beneath palm trees and dip in jacuzzis. We don't have the luxury to go for vacations together all the time. I dont have a documented proposals nor much recognition for the matter of fact. And for our personalities differ, I don't really get often surprises nor sticky notes on my water tumbler nor handmade breakfasts. I mind, but I guess, there are far more important things that counts as the journey slowly unfolds itself.
Few years back, started off as hate because he kinda look like my besties ex, i had no idea I end up with him today.We end up holding same post in a matriculation body and thats how we started. Buying groceries every forthnightly for each other(you see, in matrics, they separate the outing schedule, alternate females and males, so i cant get my fruit storage after it is finished within a week, and i must have it! call me moron but that is who I am ) We are so friendzoned that i had to carry all those heavy plastic bags all the way to dormitory and he dont even put a thought in mind to come and lend me a hand (mengaku je la Fion, its all YOUR stuff not his! =S) To defend myself, bag of apples are not heavy for him but it is for me! That time at least. Felt like I was evaporating crazy under the scorching sun! Not to mention, the 2.5 kg soap powder and I was screaming inside on why did I agree! (You guys must be wondering why he need so much, you see, trend is changing, we girls are using the machine and he is still scrubbing his clothes everyday. Full stop.) I literally gave him that glare -.-'' (He didnt notice i guess or maybe i was just covering up to show buff, aah, all crap). Many occasions where I had a strong feelingthat we will meet and we did. Its like this telepathy thing that the old me used to believe. Gosh. And everytime we are chatting heading in the same direction, his leaps are so freaking huge that he forgets I dont have spider legs like him. I literally need to jog and pant beside of him. And as time pass, he slowed down, bit by bit. Until I dont have to speed up anymore. And I realise we are walking in the same pace. He is still very quiet tho, and to erase the awkward silence on our ocassional bump ins, I had to put up a conversation which i swore did not come as easy as it will be now. I had no idea on how we started texting and asking bout daily stuff. His basketball like usual up to today. We chatted for a couple of months and grew closer perhaps. But a fact, he ignores me like level 9000. The closer we got on phone, the further we grew apart in reality. Bump ins became even more awkward and weird. Accidental meet ups just to avoid eye stares, even more far than a stranger. After a while, I was really hurt. I did not think much, I just take it as close friends whom oh well, grew closer with time .., never know it could lead nor dare I hope for anything more. We stopped texting and i had no idea how it started back again after that. -.- Partial juvenile amnesia. Gosh I need a shrink.
And to a day where coincidentally being a technology noobie just discovered a setting where it auto counts your text and I realised out texts almost reach a thousand! (I am a lazy girl, no habit of clearing inbox, totally opposite from him). So one day like usual when we chatted, I just flew in a text and said, its gonna be our first thousand text in a few. And i just expect a meaningful friendship forever text that i can really keep. (told you I was thattt friendzoned or are we both blind gosh).
**I am just gonna Skipp all the mid part and few months after that and the drama in between on how we got together...blaa blaa..***
We didnt have our meals together even weeks after that only occasionally.. damn paiseh ok...-.- Okay, then a while after that , we had a vacation in Penang with a bunch of friends which is awkward still...super shy like crap please lah...gosh Cant get used to the status even after sometime. *Thinking bout it, damn traditional la -.-* Only hold hands when we had to cross the road. And then in that vacation also only I realise he's a Buddhist when i saw him pray at temple. and the convo goes something like this :
*In the bus*
Me: Hmm, I got something to ask o, hope you dont mind?
Him: Yeah, sure..anything?
Me: hmm, you can pray at temple wan ah?*damn scared*
~~Awkward moment~~~
Him: Urm why not? *Crease forehead in curiosity*
Me: I don't know. I thought , urm...eh , you are in what religion one?*Poker face*
Him: Buddhist lar...-.- *That sweat face*
Me: EH EH really mehh? You sure or not?Dont cheat me leh
Him: *Shouted at another friend of ours : Hey, ZY, I am a buddhist right?
ZY: Yeah, why?
: Nothing much, thatnks!
SEE??
Me: ...okayy...
~~~~~~
I swore, that time, i feel like the most embarassing moment in my life. I just wanna jump off the bus and go back to my hostel. (Think about it, nah, not really, the sequel is far more embarassing)
And so I tried to redeem myself.
Me: but..but..but...I thought... aiya, how I know wor...you got english name in front at your IC...cant
blame me for assuming ur a Christian ma, see?
Him: Tell me then , what bout your name pulak?
Me: Nice weather today, grins~
.............
Okay, i deserve a smack isnt it, i think some miscommunication la in the past, i remembered we chatted bout this and got some misunderstanding i guess. Oh well, we were that blind isnt it. *Or is it just me -.-
We were new and clumsy when like I said, we jumped into things earlier, but we know, we do care, we do feel.
In matrics, we did not study together like all the other couples. I will seek him when i need his help but besides that, we move at our own pace and we believed its what best for us. I am okay with it , hes okay with it, up till today. After sometime, we will have regular dinner together at night and have a stroll around campus and go back to our own rooms after that. We will chat about a lot alot of things and get to know each other better i guess.
Approaching the graduation time (matrics course only a year before we enter university), I started to snap out of it and get to thinking again. Our night strolls became slightly more to discussions, of future and career and paths. I remembered when we both sat at the bench under the open sky filled with stars and staring ahead. What if we did not end up in the same university? Can we still be together? Can we still keep this relationship? It did brought tears to my eyes thinking of the endless possibilities. Optimistism beats it all i suppose? We tried to make as if 5 years sound short, we planned visits to our respective universities during holidays, writing letters, surprises and calls. We believe that it all will be just fine as long as we are both still in love and trust each other.
Yours truly,
Just me
WARNING : ITS GONNA BE A LONG WINDY POST.
Always I've heard of stories, really sweet romantic stories, from those exactly from novels fairytale to those where the world revolved only around them and to those whom sweet steady just perfect. It got me to ponder.
It truly sound so corny for me to write about this at 2am but i just thought i should. I am in a relationship with him for almost 4 years roughly now. Our relationship is far from perfect. I dont know where will we go in the future but one thing for sure, I am game for it.
It was a first, for both of us and me today must admit, we jumped into things. Jumped into a future full of possibilities without second thoughts. All I remember is, I don't want to have what ifs' in the future when i look back that evening. We were young and free. So much of innocence. Is innocence what true love demands? Or is it truly love only after when you think it through and know what and who you really want? But again, will it still be true love if you need to think about it that long? I've quoted this from a really good friend of mine without him knowing but thank you for this. Up to today, I still can't yet get an answer. For us, we started off with pure innocence and revolved around that as we grew too fast for reality and snap out of it. Then it got me thinking back again then. About everything. As we fall back into place, where we really belong.
We don't have love stories like fairytale and in movies. We are not like super rich pair where we can go fine dining in the city every now and then. We don't have a car nor freedom to go for midnight drives by the beaches beneath palm trees and dip in jacuzzis. We don't have the luxury to go for vacations together all the time. I dont have a documented proposals nor much recognition for the matter of fact. And for our personalities differ, I don't really get often surprises nor sticky notes on my water tumbler nor handmade breakfasts. I mind, but I guess, there are far more important things that counts as the journey slowly unfolds itself.
Few years back, started off as hate because he kinda look like my besties ex, i had no idea I end up with him today.We end up holding same post in a matriculation body and thats how we started. Buying groceries every forthnightly for each other(you see, in matrics, they separate the outing schedule, alternate females and males, so i cant get my fruit storage after it is finished within a week, and i must have it! call me moron but that is who I am ) We are so friendzoned that i had to carry all those heavy plastic bags all the way to dormitory and he dont even put a thought in mind to come and lend me a hand (mengaku je la Fion, its all YOUR stuff not his! =S) To defend myself, bag of apples are not heavy for him but it is for me! That time at least. Felt like I was evaporating crazy under the scorching sun! Not to mention, the 2.5 kg soap powder and I was screaming inside on why did I agree! (You guys must be wondering why he need so much, you see, trend is changing, we girls are using the machine and he is still scrubbing his clothes everyday. Full stop.) I literally gave him that glare -.-'' (He didnt notice i guess or maybe i was just covering up to show buff, aah, all crap). Many occasions where I had a strong feelingthat we will meet and we did. Its like this telepathy thing that the old me used to believe. Gosh. And everytime we are chatting heading in the same direction, his leaps are so freaking huge that he forgets I dont have spider legs like him. I literally need to jog and pant beside of him. And as time pass, he slowed down, bit by bit. Until I dont have to speed up anymore. And I realise we are walking in the same pace. He is still very quiet tho, and to erase the awkward silence on our ocassional bump ins, I had to put up a conversation which i swore did not come as easy as it will be now. I had no idea on how we started texting and asking bout daily stuff. His basketball like usual up to today. We chatted for a couple of months and grew closer perhaps. But a fact, he ignores me like level 9000. The closer we got on phone, the further we grew apart in reality. Bump ins became even more awkward and weird. Accidental meet ups just to avoid eye stares, even more far than a stranger. After a while, I was really hurt. I did not think much, I just take it as close friends whom oh well, grew closer with time .., never know it could lead nor dare I hope for anything more. We stopped texting and i had no idea how it started back again after that. -.- Partial juvenile amnesia. Gosh I need a shrink.
And to a day where coincidentally being a technology noobie just discovered a setting where it auto counts your text and I realised out texts almost reach a thousand! (I am a lazy girl, no habit of clearing inbox, totally opposite from him). So one day like usual when we chatted, I just flew in a text and said, its gonna be our first thousand text in a few. And i just expect a meaningful friendship forever text that i can really keep. (told you I was thattt friendzoned or are we both blind gosh).
**I am just gonna Skipp all the mid part and few months after that and the drama in between on how we got together...blaa blaa..***
We didnt have our meals together even weeks after that only occasionally.. damn paiseh ok...-.- Okay, then a while after that , we had a vacation in Penang with a bunch of friends which is awkward still...super shy like crap please lah...gosh Cant get used to the status even after sometime. *Thinking bout it, damn traditional la -.-* Only hold hands when we had to cross the road. And then in that vacation also only I realise he's a Buddhist when i saw him pray at temple. and the convo goes something like this :
*In the bus*
Me: Hmm, I got something to ask o, hope you dont mind?
Him: Yeah, sure..anything?
Me: hmm, you can pray at temple wan ah?*damn scared*
~~Awkward moment~~~
Him: Urm why not? *Crease forehead in curiosity*
Me: I don't know. I thought , urm...eh , you are in what religion one?*Poker face*
Him: Buddhist lar...-.- *That sweat face*
Me: EH EH really mehh? You sure or not?Dont cheat me leh
Him: *Shouted at another friend of ours : Hey, ZY, I am a buddhist right?
ZY: Yeah, why?
: Nothing much, thatnks!
SEE??
Me: ...okayy...
~~~~~~
I swore, that time, i feel like the most embarassing moment in my life. I just wanna jump off the bus and go back to my hostel. (Think about it, nah, not really, the sequel is far more embarassing)
And so I tried to redeem myself.
Me: but..but..but...I thought... aiya, how I know wor...you got english name in front at your IC...cant
blame me for assuming ur a Christian ma, see?
Him: Tell me then , what bout your name pulak?
Me: Nice weather today, grins~
.............
Okay, i deserve a smack isnt it, i think some miscommunication la in the past, i remembered we chatted bout this and got some misunderstanding i guess. Oh well, we were that blind isnt it. *Or is it just me -.-
We were new and clumsy when like I said, we jumped into things earlier, but we know, we do care, we do feel.
In matrics, we did not study together like all the other couples. I will seek him when i need his help but besides that, we move at our own pace and we believed its what best for us. I am okay with it , hes okay with it, up till today. After sometime, we will have regular dinner together at night and have a stroll around campus and go back to our own rooms after that. We will chat about a lot alot of things and get to know each other better i guess.
Approaching the graduation time (matrics course only a year before we enter university), I started to snap out of it and get to thinking again. Our night strolls became slightly more to discussions, of future and career and paths. I remembered when we both sat at the bench under the open sky filled with stars and staring ahead. What if we did not end up in the same university? Can we still be together? Can we still keep this relationship? It did brought tears to my eyes thinking of the endless possibilities. Optimistism beats it all i suppose? We tried to make as if 5 years sound short, we planned visits to our respective universities during holidays, writing letters, surprises and calls. We believe that it all will be just fine as long as we are both still in love and trust each other.
And heck i didnt expect we will be in the same university and here we are.
I am evermore thankful to have us supporting each other in this tough course and definitely, i love him more everyday as i slowly learn to see the side of him no one ever knew existed.
As he potrays differently than who he really is.
He taught me more about life, about things i never thought of.
He brought the best out of me and I hope i do the same to him. He gave me freedom in approaching my dreams and always very supportive in everything i do, even it means watching me do mistakes and forgiving me every time.
He loved me in a different way by believing in me even it means letting me grow by myself, never controlling me nor hold me captive.
I know he cares and worried about me but he still always made the painful decision of setting me free to do what i really want because he respects my decisions, what i want from life.
He believed that this is the best that he can give me. And it really is.
We are 2 people from separate worlds, dreaming of different kind of lives ahead, but I believe that we can work things out.
These years evolve and let me see who he truly is and i came know its the right decision that day. I love you and hope to spend the rest of our lives together. Happy 22nd birthday =)
Because a man like you is impossible to find.
Just me
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Thursday, July 10, 2014
Ours
This childish love of ours, grown a lot ,seen a lot or hurdles as well as the finer sides. This childish love of ours, probably know to give it all, with certain expectations in return. This childish love of ours, probably seen more innocence from us than we really did. This weathered innocent love, is what I hope we can hold to for the rest of our lives. This weathered innocent love, wouldn't expect much in return, as you would say, I define happiness, to love much more than to be loved, for all we give because we know we eventually come around. This weathered innocent love, taught us to love, unconditionally :)
Thursday, July 3, 2014
Hold your breath, because tonight will be the night i will fall for you, over again
Many will have expectations. Some demand to have a tall, dark and handsome. Some demand to have filthy rich Lamborghini with Mont Blancs. Some would prefer Charles Keith solely with a little touch of pink martini every now and then. Some wants simplicity and innocence. Some wants it without strings attached. Some wants it all.
WARNING : ITS GONNA BE A LONG WINDY POST.
Always I've heard of stories, really sweet romantic stories, from those exactly from novels fairytale to those where the world revolved only around them and to those whom sweet steady just perfect. It got me to ponder.
It truly sound so corny for me to write about this at 2am but i just thought i should. I am in a relationship with him for almost 4 years roughly now. Our relationship is far from perfect. I dont know where will we go in the future but one thing for sure, I am game for it.
It was a first, for both of us and me today must admit, we jumped into things. Jumped into a future full of possibilities without second thoughts. All I remember is, I don't want to have what ifs' in the future when i look back that evening. We were young and free. So much of innocence. Is innocence what true love demands? Or is it truly love only after when you think it through and know what and who you really want? But again, will it still be true love if you need to think about it that long? I've quoted this from a really good friend of mine without him knowing but thank you for this. Up to today, I still can't yet get an answer. For us, we started off with pure innocence and revolved around that as we grew too fast for reality and snap out of it. Then it got me thinking back again then. About everything. As we fall back into place, where we really belong.
We don't have love stories like fairytale and in movies. We are not like super rich pair where we can go fine dining in the city every now and then. We don't have a car nor freedom to go for midnight drives by the beaches beneath palm trees and dip in jacuzzis. We don't have the luxury to go for vacations together all the time. I dont have a documented proposals nor much recognition for the matter of fact. And for our personalities differ, I don't really get often surprises nor sticky notes on my water tumbler nor handmade breakfasts. I mind, but I guess, there are far more important things that counts as the journey slowly unfolds itself.
Few years back, started off as hate because he kinda look like my besties ex, i had no idea I end up with him today.We end up holding same post in a matriculation body and thats how we started. Buying groceries every forthnightly for each other(you see, in matrics, they separate the outing schedule, alternate females and males, so i cant get my fruit storage after it is finished within a week, and i must have it! call me moron but that is who I am ) We are so friendzoned that i had to carry all those heavy plastic bags all the way to dormitory and he dont even put a thought in mind to come and lend me a hand (mengaku je la Fion, its all YOUR stuff not his! =S) To defend myself, bag of apples are not heavy for him but it is for me! That time at least. Felt like I was evaporating crazy under the scorching sun! Not to mention, the 2.5 kg soap powder and I was screaming inside on why did I agree! (You guys must be wondering why he need so much, you see, trend is changing, we girls are using the machine and he is still scrubbing his clothes everyday. Full stop.) I literally gave him that glare -.-'' (He didnt notice i guess or maybe i was just covering up to show buff, aah, all crap). Many occasions where I had a strong feelingthat we will meet and we did. Its like this telepathy thing that the old me used to believe. Gosh. And everytime we are chatting heading in the same direction, his leaps are so freaking huge that he forgets I dont have spider legs like him. I literally need to jog and pant beside of him. And as time pass, he slowed down, bit by bit. Until I dont have to speed up anymore. And I realise we are walking in the same pace. He is still very quiet tho, and to erase the awkward silence on our ocassional bump ins, I had to put up a conversation which i swore did not come as easy as it will be now. I had no idea on how we started texting and asking bout daily stuff. His basketball like usual up to today. We chatted for a couple of months and grew closer perhaps. But a fact, he ignores me like level 9000. The closer we got on phone, the further we grew apart in reality. Bump ins became even more awkward and weird. Accidental meet ups just to avoid eye stares, even more far than a stranger. After a while, I was really hurt. I did not think much, I just take it as close friends whom oh well, grew closer with time .., never know it could lead nor dare I hope for anything more. We stopped texting and i had no idea how it started back again after that. -.- Partial juvenile amnesia. Gosh I need a shrink.
And to a day where coincidentally being a technology noobie just discovered a setting where it auto counts your text and I realised out texts almost reach a thousand! (I am a lazy girl, no habit of clearing inbox, totally opposite from him). So one day like usual when we chatted, I just flew in a text and said, its gonna be our first thousand text in a few. And i just expect a meaningful friendship forever text that i can really keep. (told you I was thattt friendzoned or are we both blind gosh).
**I am just gonna Skipp all the mid part and few months after that and the drama in between on how we got together...blaa blaa..***
We didnt have our meals together even weeks after that only occasionally.. damn paiseh ok...-.- Okay, then a while after that , we had a vacation in Penang with a bunch of friends which is awkward still...super shy like crap please lah...gosh Cant get used to the status even after sometime. *Thinking bout it, damn traditional la -.-* Only hold hands when we had to cross the road. And then in that vacation also only I realise he's a Buddhist when i saw him pray at temple. and the convo goes something like this :
*In the bus*
Me: Hmm, I got something to ask o, hope you dont mind?
Him: Yeah, sure..anything?
Me: hmm, you can pray at temple wan ah?*damn scared*
~~Awkward moment~~~
Him: Urm why not? *Crease forehead in curiosity*
Me: I don't know. I thought , urm...eh , you are in what religion one?*Poker face*
Him: Buddhist lar...-.- *That sweat face*
Me: EH EH really mehh? You sure or not?Dont cheat me leh
Him: *Shouted at another friend of ours : Hey, ZY, I am a buddhist right?
ZY: Yeah, why?
: Nothing much, thatnks!
SEE??
Me: ...okayy...
~~~~~~
I swore, that time, i feel like the most embarassing moment in my life. I just wanna jump off the bus and go back to my hostel. (Think about it, nah, not really, the sequel is far more embarassing)
And so I tried to redeem myself.
Me: but..but..but...I thought... aiya, how I know wor...you got english name in front at your IC...cant
blame me for assuming ur a Christian ma, see?
Him: Tell me then , what bout your name pulak?
Me: Nice weather today, grins~
.............
Okay, i deserve a smack isnt it, i think some miscommunication la in the past, i remembered we chatted bout this and got some misunderstanding i guess. Oh well, we were that blind isnt it. *Or is it just me -.-
We were new and clumsy when like I said, we jumped into things earlier, but we know, we do care, we do feel.
In matrics, we did not study together like all the other couples. I will seek him when i need his help but besides that, we move at our own pace and we believed its what best for us. I am okay with it , hes okay with it, up till today. After sometime, we will have regular dinner together at night and have a stroll around campus and go back to our own rooms after that. We will chat about a lot alot of things and get to know each other better i guess.
Approaching the graduation time (matrics course only a year before we enter university), I started to snap out of it and get to thinking again. Our night strolls became slightly more to discussions, of future and career and paths. I remembered when we both sat at the bench under the open sky filled with stars and staring ahead. What if we did not end up in the same university? Can we still be together? Can we still keep this relationship? It did brought tears to my eyes thinking of the endless possibilities. Optimistism beats it all i suppose? We tried to make as if 5 years sound short, we planned visits to our respective universities during holidays, writing letters, surprises and calls. We believe that it all will be just fine as long as we are both still in love and trust each other.
Yours truly,
Just me
WARNING : ITS GONNA BE A LONG WINDY POST.
Always I've heard of stories, really sweet romantic stories, from those exactly from novels fairytale to those where the world revolved only around them and to those whom sweet steady just perfect. It got me to ponder.
It truly sound so corny for me to write about this at 2am but i just thought i should. I am in a relationship with him for almost 4 years roughly now. Our relationship is far from perfect. I dont know where will we go in the future but one thing for sure, I am game for it.
It was a first, for both of us and me today must admit, we jumped into things. Jumped into a future full of possibilities without second thoughts. All I remember is, I don't want to have what ifs' in the future when i look back that evening. We were young and free. So much of innocence. Is innocence what true love demands? Or is it truly love only after when you think it through and know what and who you really want? But again, will it still be true love if you need to think about it that long? I've quoted this from a really good friend of mine without him knowing but thank you for this. Up to today, I still can't yet get an answer. For us, we started off with pure innocence and revolved around that as we grew too fast for reality and snap out of it. Then it got me thinking back again then. About everything. As we fall back into place, where we really belong.
We don't have love stories like fairytale and in movies. We are not like super rich pair where we can go fine dining in the city every now and then. We don't have a car nor freedom to go for midnight drives by the beaches beneath palm trees and dip in jacuzzis. We don't have the luxury to go for vacations together all the time. I dont have a documented proposals nor much recognition for the matter of fact. And for our personalities differ, I don't really get often surprises nor sticky notes on my water tumbler nor handmade breakfasts. I mind, but I guess, there are far more important things that counts as the journey slowly unfolds itself.
Few years back, started off as hate because he kinda look like my besties ex, i had no idea I end up with him today.We end up holding same post in a matriculation body and thats how we started. Buying groceries every forthnightly for each other(you see, in matrics, they separate the outing schedule, alternate females and males, so i cant get my fruit storage after it is finished within a week, and i must have it! call me moron but that is who I am ) We are so friendzoned that i had to carry all those heavy plastic bags all the way to dormitory and he dont even put a thought in mind to come and lend me a hand (mengaku je la Fion, its all YOUR stuff not his! =S) To defend myself, bag of apples are not heavy for him but it is for me! That time at least. Felt like I was evaporating crazy under the scorching sun! Not to mention, the 2.5 kg soap powder and I was screaming inside on why did I agree! (You guys must be wondering why he need so much, you see, trend is changing, we girls are using the machine and he is still scrubbing his clothes everyday. Full stop.) I literally gave him that glare -.-'' (He didnt notice i guess or maybe i was just covering up to show buff, aah, all crap). Many occasions where I had a strong feelingthat we will meet and we did. Its like this telepathy thing that the old me used to believe. Gosh. And everytime we are chatting heading in the same direction, his leaps are so freaking huge that he forgets I dont have spider legs like him. I literally need to jog and pant beside of him. And as time pass, he slowed down, bit by bit. Until I dont have to speed up anymore. And I realise we are walking in the same pace. He is still very quiet tho, and to erase the awkward silence on our ocassional bump ins, I had to put up a conversation which i swore did not come as easy as it will be now. I had no idea on how we started texting and asking bout daily stuff. His basketball like usual up to today. We chatted for a couple of months and grew closer perhaps. But a fact, he ignores me like level 9000. The closer we got on phone, the further we grew apart in reality. Bump ins became even more awkward and weird. Accidental meet ups just to avoid eye stares, even more far than a stranger. After a while, I was really hurt. I did not think much, I just take it as close friends whom oh well, grew closer with time .., never know it could lead nor dare I hope for anything more. We stopped texting and i had no idea how it started back again after that. -.- Partial juvenile amnesia. Gosh I need a shrink.
And to a day where coincidentally being a technology noobie just discovered a setting where it auto counts your text and I realised out texts almost reach a thousand! (I am a lazy girl, no habit of clearing inbox, totally opposite from him). So one day like usual when we chatted, I just flew in a text and said, its gonna be our first thousand text in a few. And i just expect a meaningful friendship forever text that i can really keep. (told you I was thattt friendzoned or are we both blind gosh).
**I am just gonna Skipp all the mid part and few months after that and the drama in between on how we got together...blaa blaa..***
We didnt have our meals together even weeks after that only occasionally.. damn paiseh ok...-.- Okay, then a while after that , we had a vacation in Penang with a bunch of friends which is awkward still...super shy like crap please lah...gosh Cant get used to the status even after sometime. *Thinking bout it, damn traditional la -.-* Only hold hands when we had to cross the road. And then in that vacation also only I realise he's a Buddhist when i saw him pray at temple. and the convo goes something like this :
*In the bus*
Me: Hmm, I got something to ask o, hope you dont mind?
Him: Yeah, sure..anything?
Me: hmm, you can pray at temple wan ah?*damn scared*
~~Awkward moment~~~
Him: Urm why not? *Crease forehead in curiosity*
Me: I don't know. I thought , urm...eh , you are in what religion one?*Poker face*
Him: Buddhist lar...-.- *That sweat face*
Me: EH EH really mehh? You sure or not?Dont cheat me leh
Him: *Shouted at another friend of ours : Hey, ZY, I am a buddhist right?
ZY: Yeah, why?
: Nothing much, thatnks!
SEE??
Me: ...okayy...
~~~~~~
I swore, that time, i feel like the most embarassing moment in my life. I just wanna jump off the bus and go back to my hostel. (Think about it, nah, not really, the sequel is far more embarassing)
And so I tried to redeem myself.
Me: but..but..but...I thought... aiya, how I know wor...you got english name in front at your IC...cant
blame me for assuming ur a Christian ma, see?
Him: Tell me then , what bout your name pulak?
Me: Nice weather today, grins~
.............
Okay, i deserve a smack isnt it, i think some miscommunication la in the past, i remembered we chatted bout this and got some misunderstanding i guess. Oh well, we were that blind isnt it. *Or is it just me -.-
We were new and clumsy when like I said, we jumped into things earlier, but we know, we do care, we do feel.
In matrics, we did not study together like all the other couples. I will seek him when i need his help but besides that, we move at our own pace and we believed its what best for us. I am okay with it , hes okay with it, up till today. After sometime, we will have regular dinner together at night and have a stroll around campus and go back to our own rooms after that. We will chat about a lot alot of things and get to know each other better i guess.
Approaching the graduation time (matrics course only a year before we enter university), I started to snap out of it and get to thinking again. Our night strolls became slightly more to discussions, of future and career and paths. I remembered when we both sat at the bench under the open sky filled with stars and staring ahead. What if we did not end up in the same university? Can we still be together? Can we still keep this relationship? It did brought tears to my eyes thinking of the endless possibilities. Optimistism beats it all i suppose? We tried to make as if 5 years sound short, we planned visits to our respective universities during holidays, writing letters, surprises and calls. We believe that it all will be just fine as long as we are both still in love and trust each other.
And heck i didnt expect we will be in the same university and here we are.
I am evermore thankful to have us supporting each other in this tough course and definitely, i love him more everyday as i slowly learn to see the side of him no one ever knew existed.
As he potrays differently than who he really is.
He taught me more about life, about things i never thought of.
He brought the best out of me and I hope i do the same to him. He gave me freedom in approaching my dreams and always very supportive in everything i do, even it means watching me do mistakes and forgiving me every time.
He loved me in a different way by believing in me even it means letting me grow by myself, never controlling me nor hold me captive.
I know he cares and worried about me but he still always made the painful decision of setting me free to do what i really want because he respects my decisions, what i want from life.
He believed that this is the best that he can give me. And it really is.
We are 2 people from separate worlds, dreaming of different kind of lives ahead, but I believe that we can work things out.
These years evolve and let me see who he truly is and i came know its the right decision that day. I love you and hope to spend the rest of our lives together. Happy 22nd birthday =)
Because a man like you is impossible to find.
Just me
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