ToRtUrE..

Hi...hmm..i thought i m ta only 1 tat couldnt let you go..when thrs othrs...i nid not wori tat much anymr..at leasd u've gt company...i cant find y i muz bother u though...maybe...we're frens?yup...its true...now..every1 is asleep..oni me awake...not yet sleepy..shud be studying pjk?!!(sweat..)light music on my background...wanna turn it off bt kinda lonely..i was playing my bro's guitar..on 'hero' bt my bro kept on nagging...bcoz..i din play it ta ryt way(it was obvious...hu play guitar on only a few strings with a wide range of frets....(rathr funny..)...n insisted i play Qing Tian by Jay Chou...oh dear..i did not!!)...today was a busy day..really..i was walking in ta whole sch whole day!nid to plan my ert jamuan...it gets bttr wif ta help of yi ling(hav tat patience..sze min..bought ta gifts...not 2 mention sook june...collect ta money..)it was really tough planning sumthng torture..if it dun turn well 2molo...i m so gonna......frgt it...den i hav 1 more ajk report to do..n agm stuff n ta gifts....burdening.....bt no choice.....hav 2 go on.....2molo gt ta majlis...hav 2 bsy again...Let me wish Loh Ling...HaPpY BuFdAy!! MaY Ur DrEaMs CoMe TrUe........


~I HaVe To Go On..~

Forced....

~UKM....in the morning...nice place..~

Hi...so long din post blog ody....now holz lo.....actually i got paper summr....but i dun reli care anymore...fr now...i thnk my nerves will greet me at sunday?den i will start throwing up in ta morning-including the ice lemon tea i drank at nyt, nothng else-...i noe i m growing damn fat...nid to eat to keep me awake at nyt..i will make sure i loose ta weight aftr xams...nex nex week..got acc 1,math 1, phy 1, pjk, sivik n french!!i muz be nuts..i m so gonna fail my french...wakaka...but dun care..n u noe wat...i discovered i m not only nuts but crazy.....during xams....i will talk to myself during ta papers...'umm, i dun think so........', 'yup...it is ta answer' or 'nolah!tis is crap...got aeroplanes a last tym?!!'....there...got my point?i thnk i make ta biggest noise in class....i talk to myself without me realising....my frens gonna thnk i m mad....its ok...i will cure myself soon.......fuh~now i m into sleeping moz of ta tym.....such xam depression will eat me up....such pain, anger , frustration!had nowhere to go xcept eating my heart out....i had o think...tis has been planned...i juz hav to work hard...-i lost so much marks in add math...-i studied so hard but i couldnt gt sumthng equal...but....its gud in a way...I WOULD NOT REPEAT TIS STUPID THING IN MY NEX EXAM!! ta frustration is unexplainable n unbeatable......difficult to be cured....but i m forced to xcept ta reality fact.....forced.......every success has its price...i gotta pay...with wat...wif tym,hardwork,frustration,falls n depression....i assume it gotta build up sumday.....althgh it means i gotta add eye bags n drink more tea...-i dun take coffee..-....tis am.....went 2 buy a whole truck of brooch fr teachers...-dun tell them ya..-..n keep it in a mini lovely box-for ta jamuan-now had 2 crack my head fr ert jamuan n gift fr form 5......omg.....nvm.....4get it....keke....ok...gotta go...tata....

juz from...

~Liking the bed a lot~

SiLeNt...

Another end for my day....today...have a bit fun though..in the lab...v made glittery substance...lead(II) iodide...now gona take exam...dun feel ta rush...dun feel ta pain as i used 2...not anymore....now thrs nothng left in me...nothing!hate myself....if onli tym could stop and wait for peeps lyk me...2 move on...please....save me....y wudnt u be thr...whn i m myself all ta long...y now wud u change?i dun get it...maybe v dun hav ta fate...after all....i miss u....evry1 tat i wud lyk to be wif needs 2 move on wif their life...u say u wud be thr...i trusted u..bt 1 fact...u will move on witht me..n whn u realise...ta final thing u remembr is...~i hav forgotten bout her...~how can i...den it wud be pointless....tears after tears wudnt be enuf??waiting fr u ..to turn back is tough enuf....nvm...ppl around me seem to know how m i progressing....bt all that they saw...thy dunno any more...any much more den that...thy saw ta surface...not all thus leaving me as i m.....for eternity...thgh i m empty...i m ntg to be wif....bt dun wori...whn u want me thr...just look up at ta stars...juz imagine....

~ThE SiLeNt FrIeNdShIp~

Alors....

Aujord hui, je prend la examination(DELF A2)..je ne content pas..parcequi je ne faire bien..je parle a francais a mois, ma petite famille at un dialogue...haih~ma examination a l'ecole vais venir..combien?vous parler a mois....je ne comprend pas pourquoi....~je voudrais reviser mais.....j'aime dormir!beaucoup! Au revoir!

~Mois~

frenz...

hihi...me now doin last minute work...again...so bz...i cant blief i fel so heartbroken when i luv my fren 2much...pity her too much...i wanna cry wif her...bt i cudnt..if i do..hu will be thr to s'pport her...hu will...i wanna help her bt cant....i love u...no matter wat happens...we'll be bestfrens forever...i wont leave u okay....no mattr wat....dun worry...i wont..we'll settle tis 2gthr...i'm here...fr u....sori if i cant help bt i'll try my best.....

~Me n Yi Ling~

~Our bags~

Fakeness

i hated u so much without a reason bt i can't show..instead..i need to make as if i'm so cool with it..so normal..oulwhn i 'm puttng hope whch can't be fulfilled..empty hope...beneath everythng tat seems to exist..in ths world...y fakeness always wins?i don't get it till i realise...human beings can't different shade fake n true..bt whn they realise..they don't mind it seems...its ok...non of my thts..i'm not faking a simple bit of my life...y i m still on a plank..y..any peeps out thr hu can tell me?human persumes fakeness as their route n they shall not be able to look in othrs heart n soul....i can just watch dem fly off blind off.....i dun wanna care more...forget evrythng n lead my own life.......



~FiOn~

Hate u..

i really felt so 1 kind..i dunno..maybe its bcoz i'm born sensitive...i noe its not ur fault bt i juz cant forget...i juz dunno y ppl dun take thngs properly n thnk of othr ppl feelings....ppl can juz choke fr ta sake of othrs which did not appreciate....thr..i'm nuts....i hate u so much..but i couldnt even speak up...i want to...bt i dunno how...teach me please....teach me...


~FiOn~

StrEnGtH...

Hi....its reaching the end of a blissful life of mine...holidays is almost going to an end........fuh~i don't noe...i cant cope wif tym..i m a stress addict which kinda hard at curing myself...haih....i muz choose 1...stress it out..or let go....nvm..no1 will understand..today..is a friday...at poridge n fishballs fr bfast...kaka....den..do hwk..sleep...n play ..n eat again...m i having bulimia??kaka...nola..no worries...i'm okie..juz joking....nw...felt so regretful..y m i always like this....nid 2 go sch n face reality....okay..i gotta stay strong...show tat i'm strong...........though....i'm not....

~FiOn~

HI again..

Hi..actually i wanna go off..but this keeps bugging me..i changed my mind...in life thr r lots of distraction...being me i dont noe how to choose rite n wrong...leading me to conflicts..i don't noe wat evry1else thinking or wat the future holds for me..i can only wait n watch it unfolds..beneath my own self..maybe its a usual occurance..i still dun like fakeness whr it hide evry1 undrnth its folds...shall i choose the path risking my lifetime or shall i risk the chance of actually living my life..i dunno...i can watch othrs fall into seas of misery but a diff wan than mine..whr i fell..its a total diff thing...will i be able to avoid fakeness envelopes myself or will i made it into ur path or my own...........

~SiLeNt WiShEs~

Hi..

Hi...This would be my first blog posting here...its already late rite now..i gtg to have my sleep...see ya soon....

~FiOn~