emo

Okies..yeap...here i m again...all stupidly miserable like usual, where i m suppose to blog bout my outing wif ma besties..i m crappin. Yeah, u got me. i m emo, aftr a long time. look, tis is why:

1) CHEMISTRY ASSIGNMENT which my friend remind me from day 1 to do
2) CHEMISTRY TUTORIAL ChAPTER 5 (which again reminded, now no diff)
3) MATHEMATICS TUTORIAL(CHAPTER 5 WHICH I DID NOT FOR GUDNESS Sake bring back the buk)
4) DOUBLE math quiz (isnt this getting brilliant)
5)GIMP ASSIGNMENT (wow, didnt start)
6) biology revision(stuck)
7)chem revision(wth is tat)
8) my story books are all over selangor n malaysia(NO JOKE)
9)still not enuf sleep
10)miss my friend whom i dun think misses me
11) I niida go back to the northern state in less than 24 hours.

LOOK? i deserve to stress isnt it...I reli wan to just faint off...I M SO EMO THAT I DONT KNOW HOW TO DEAL WITH IT!*SCREAMS*ARGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! help me...how how how><''

FaRhAnA...^^

TODAY...
*drumrolls*

Before i do any post at all...

i would like to dedicate this post to..

its ok..lets see...

*make sure u scroll till the bottom*

WATER APPles
HAHA...okok, not the wtr apples..

FARHANA
*the senget wan, not the sopan wan*

oops...okok

FARHANA
*the cute wan*
better?

There you go.
Thanks for all the time we spent together...thanks fr al ta camwhores we had..
(yeah, of course, drain my camera's battery...)
and for the times we had together. how we study n go bookshop togethr to but books...
(ya right...lepak in czip lee got la..den stop by vanilla, den wait at tepi jalan from no rain till rain..den..walk to living cabin oso got..din see us so rajin go mph or lib oso)
Hard times when we help each other...-------->

(shutup, ur just waiting fr the jambu rite? n let samila do the work..XD n i m the camera girl...)
n the easy times when i m still the camera girl, n you are.............err...*gulps*

or when u have enuf snapshts that you want no more, i m still here as the cam girl, n u r.... *changing ur post, admit ni la, i noe u want it...*

n this is us...thanks dear for everything.......dramaqueen.....love you always...

Wow..studying.........okok...if i puji myself i thnk u will faint........so, thanks fr the time we spent together...will always remembr you no matter whr u go...wht u do...love you lots...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY FARHANA...

(belated, i din insert it cz i feel like this prttier...^^)
sorry that i forget it..hectic life n stressed...sorry dear...hope ur not angry...n cant celebrate wif you this year..but we shall celebrate it next week durin outing ok?...
take care miss me o...^^

My life so far

My blog has been really boring with no updates but what i shall do bout that..

nothing. haha. okay, lets start of with me in Perlis.

Life has been kinda nice to me. despite the fact i couldnt get the jpa scholarship to study in med school. Well, thsat was very really heartbrkng.

frustrated i couldnt do better in the past. but finally i do believe everything hsppen for a gud reason. undeniably. painful.

okay, stop the vain talk. NOw i really do feel better after all that i went tru. i believe i can still enter med school via matrix. i mean local U.

really hope to get into medic course. Its my dream.

Its something i would do for my whole life.

suffer or not, i m going for it. i m really thankful i got the chance to study in matrix, smthn to lay on.

Its really nice, although that taking 3 majors would be very very hard compared to taking 11 mix of both. funny. I still yet forget to bring the cable to the library. couldnt update pics. i took tonnes. Reallly a truckload. No joke.

Here as usual, less sleep, more work. no doubt.

midnight sleep almost everyday n ur dreading for weekends is really exhausting. strive to fight sleepyness in class esp when ur in front of the teachers table. (Why did i chose that seat again?) why did i?? okay, forget it.

Here, the library is really superb. trust me. neevr seen one like it befr. n my besties here are really very nice (corrupted, senget)
Homework is piling up high, assignments, tutorials n studies for quiz..really stress..!

The Teachers here are superb..they are reli very gud n nice.reli had fun. but nidda WORK VERY VERY HARD. one funny thing, when the atm machine is spoilt, majorities went dry , out of cash. no joke.

its like a huge crisis over here. include me.

HAHA. okok.gtg..dun wan nag so long. n thanks to my parents n family whom support me all ta time, my bestie in institute bahasa(watashiwa fion cutie desu! Anatawa hana not cutie desu! WAHAHAHA)

n oso my other close frens. Thanks to you in smk hussein onn 2, to rela hati hear me talk crap in the phone for hours, although u no time.appreciate it lots. Thanks. Hopefully can cope wif the studies here.

Hope the best for me ya.^^

KMP

Kolej Matrikulasi Perlis.

It was very fun. Really. I got loads of experience to be independent. wake up early to wash clothes, volleyball in dusk..study...workload. I met many people from many backgrounds..people whom touched my heart, people whom I really cared.Now all I can do is travel this journey of mine to the best it can go. Wait for me. I m trying to let go, if it comes bck to me, we're meant to be. If it doesn't, it was never mine. Now on a 3days break. will go bck. on sunday..take a truckload of pics..will upload soon..wait fr me ya!!thts all fr now...take care..^^

perlis

I M REALLY GOIN TO PERLIS!! Okay, chill, BUT HOW?? HAVENT PACK FINISH!! n dun feel like packing..den comes in the sore throat, flu..gudness..how now how now?? *smacks*
bye Fb, bye my baby bloggie, bye room, bye onlining, bye every1, bye XY. .byebye

Time

The history of mine has made me believe that time will cure everything. It will. I truly believe if i withstand more pain, put up a thicker wall n bear with it, I believe, time will help me.

loser

Todays post it for myself.
Im a loser.such a jerk. seriously, no doubt.
I m such a loser that I don't care for others feelings isnt it?
Or i cared too much of the feelings of others, which fires back,as if i'd never cared before? I hurt people around me, people close to me.
Always.
I m sorry, but i couldnt turn back time.
if I could, i might just shut myself out from everyone.
Better for them, better for me. I wont ever get the chance to hurt any1.
they would be vry happy.
This change, maybe in coll life?
Just don't care. Cold, like whom i was before.
until i dunno what-in- the- world that change me. At least i wont hurt anyone by then. I didnt. Even if i did, i wont feel a thing.
Dont know since when tht change n i have feelings.
afterall.
And that hurts me more than ever.
I felt more pain than bfr. It really suffers. Now? as if i have ntg to do?
I m hurting ppl around me. I felt so bad. I m sorry. Truly. I never meant fr any ths to happen . i loser.

self sacrifice

When i look back, I have went tru this before. Yes, indeed, i have. I wondered, will the reason of failure in relationship(general) is my fault? I thought it was always my fault. I thought it always because i m selfish. but when i think again, is it because i m self sacrificial ?for everyones benefit that i m doin this, but i caused hurt in me. i dont care. this is what it shud be.

My bloggie.

Dearest, my bloggie.

Todays post in to...
yes, the one and only bloggie. My bloggie.
Ignore the fact that i got another bloggie in wordpress k, or for transparentdress
Okay, I realised this like moments ago. My bloggie is very loyal indeed.
She is always there for me no matter what happens to me, my bloggie will always be there for me even if I felt like crying or screaming or punching the wall or simply for a compliment like now.
I realised i can tell what i feel here, even the things i could not tell others by word of mouth. Typing n talking is 2 different things k.
I had no idea why but i kept knowing if i got any prob at all, my blog will be there.
I seriously had no idea why. Seriously.
What i couldnt directly tell others, i tell here.
It suffice to let out any feel at all, although bloggie wun reply. It is enuf. I m too lazy to write in a diary, so this is fine with me.
I LOVE YOU MY BLOGGIE!

Tank - Ru Guo Wo Bian Cheng Hui Yi

I heard this in sumwhr n i instantly like it so much!!! Very nice...u shud go hear..^^

Tank - Ru Guo Wo Bian Cheng Hui Yi

Lei le Zhao guan li nu li qing xing zhe Ye zhao guan li xiang ni le
Hao pa yi fang xin shui le Xin tiao zai meng zhong bu ting hua de Jiu ting zhi le
Ting zhe Hu xi xiang lang chao pai dong zhe Yue mei li yue rang wo tan te
Wo hai neng zhen xi shen me Ru guo wo lian zi ji de mai bo Dou nan zhang wo
Ru guo wo bian cheng hui yi Tui chu le zhe chang sheng ming
Liu xia ni cuo e ku qi Wo bing leng shen ti Yong bao bu liao ni
Xiang dao wo rang shen ai de ni Ren hai gu du lv xing
Wo hui hen zi ji Ru ci hen xin
Ru guo wo bian cheng hui yi Zhong yu mei na me xing yun
Mei ji hui bai zhe tou fa Pan shan qian zhe ni Kan wan xia luo jin
Man chang shi guang Zong you yi tian Ni hui shang xin quan yu
Ruo you ren ke yi Rang ta pei ni Wo bu guai ni
Kuai le Shen me shi hou hui jie su ne Na yi ke shi zui hou yi ke
Xiang ba ni jing jing bao zhe Ke zhi ni shi wo sheng ming zhong de Zui she bu de
Ru guo wo bian cheng hui yi Tui chu le zhe chang sheng ming
Liu xia ni cuo e ku qi Wo bing leng shen ti Yong bao bu liao ni
Xiang dao wo rang shen ai de ni Ren hai gu du lv xing
Wo hui hen zi ji Ru ci hen xin
Ru guo wo bian cheng hui yi Zhong yu mei na me xing yun
Mei ji hui bai zhe tou fa Pan shan qian zhe ni Kan wan xia luo jin
Man chang shi guang Zong you yi tian Ni hui shang xin quan yu
Ruo you ren ke yi Rang ta pei ni Wo bu guai ni
Ru guo wo bian cheng hui yi Zui pa wo tai be zheng qi
Wan gu de lai zai kong qi Ba zhan ni xin li Mei yi cun feng xi
Lian lei yi ran ai wo de ni Tong ku cheng shou shi qu
Zhe yang bu gong ping Qing ni jin li Ba wo wang ji




Translation

When I'm tired I keep trying hard to stay awake as usual I keep thinking of you as usual too
I'm really scared that when my mind is at rest and I'm asleep In my dreams my heartbeat won't listen to me And just stop
Listen; The sound of breathing like waves splashing The more beautiful it gets, the more I feel uneasy
What can I still cherish If I can barely control my own pulse?
If I became a memory - withdrew from this life
Leaving you startled and weeping My ice-cold body No longer able to embrace you
Thinking that I'll leave you, the one I love To travel among the sea of people alone
I will hate myself For being so heartless
If I became a memory - finally not so lucky
No chance Of us tottering while holding your hand Hair grown white Watching the sunset
In this very long period of time There'll be a day When your broken heart will heal
If someone can [heal your wound] Let him stay accompany you I won't blame you
Happiness When will it end? When is the very end?
I really want to embrace you tightly Know that you're the one in my life I can't bear to leave the most
If I became a memory - withdrew from this life
Leaving you startled and weeping, my ice-cold body no longer able to embrace you
Thinking that I'll leave you, the one I love To travel among the sea of people alone
I will hate myself For being so heartless
If I became a memory - finally not so lucky
No chance to Tottering while holding your hand Hair grown white Watching the sunset
In this very long period of time There'll be a day When your broken heart will heal
If someone can [heal your wound], let him stay accompany you, I won't blame you
If I became a memory - I'm most afraid that I'll let myself down
Stubbornly lingering in the air Dominating your heart Every part of it
Making the you that still loves me, suffer painfully for this loss
This isn't fair Please try your best To forget me