today...

Today,

was an ordinary day like no other,

Woke up in the morning,

With a numb tinge sumwhr deep in me,

Was it the feeling of emptiness?

I thought so...

i hate this type of feelings..

does this mean my emoness is cmg back?

please don't, as if i did not suffer enough being emo...

i did not want to experience that again...

in the last few days,

i kept dreaming of my history..

the person whom i had no contacts now...

had no idea why it came..

maybe its to remind me of the past..

how i used to be...

it did not matter now as i moved on...

it became part of my memory,

as i live my life a journey...

It last a while n went off...

Then it came back at dusk...

i m not sure at all what this is saying,

i m not sure what is it,

i just know for a fact,

i felt lonely,

i felt empty...

PIANO and my story beneath...

P-I-A-N-O


When I am alone, in the cold midnight,
with no one to turn to,
I laid my fingers on the sleek keys,
And hear the music company.

When I m in the uttermost silence,
where it creeps up to my spine,
I put in my faith, n gave the keys some touch,
I was melodied at once.

When I am at the paramount of joy,
I gave it a try from the notes I had,
Or simply from the hearstrings,
I will definitely share my happiness to the world,
carving smiles in the faces of others..

When I was broken beyond repair,
where my tears wet the keys of black and white,
go on...i played my wound out...
it will help you heal,
as how it healed mine..
not by instant,
but by time...
dont worry, it will always be there.

Thank you,
for being there for me,
for all the times we had,
i just wanna say thanks... ^^

My birthday~

oh yes, happy belated birthday fion.

It was a blast really.

I didnt know many knew my birthday n decided to just keep it to myself.

Really thanks to my family n frens whom wished me tru calling, sms, fb n yeah throw a suprise party which i almost faint. no joke.

Thanks to my roomates whom bother to spend their sms creds fr my wish ==' (yeah sayang,u guys were sitting next to me)

It was an ordinary day until at night. I was supposed oto have a dinner with my friends. but didint. then, JUNE told me there was ''math easy'' program held, and at the same time, i really did believe because it was one of our routine but its brought foward days earlier. (Whoe would doubt a routine?? ) With my menti programme speech on finace management(??!!! )okay, its out of topic but i really went to the talk, no joke! (WAIT, did i mentioned that my friends brought the cake to the speech as well? bravo..==') so i walked up to the library for the so called math easy programme n went in...june came minutes later n said the venue changed. So fine, who again would doubt their best friend?..i walked tru the dark pavement with june till reach the tutorial b where the classes were supposed to be used during the day. n then here comes the joke, I met She Mei , Zhi yung whom have the same bufday with me., n well a couple of frens whom suppose to be buying bus tickets. Okay~ the i just followed them to accompany them to buy tickets via the jpps' n then i felt strange. Again,who in the world would doubt their group of best friends???not to mention 1 but a gang of them..so when i reached there, it was kinda dark(btw,its at night..><')so from a class room without lights, they suddenly start to sing happy birthday song for me n zhi yung. WOW! IT WAS DEFINITELY A SHOCK MAN! i really almost faint...it was so quiet n suddenly out of duno where, a group of them just pop out n sing... who in the world would expect a party when ur bufday is goin to end in a few hours time? but 1 thing I WAS REALLY REALLY TOUCHED...thanks ...you guys are the best! really a memory to remember...i thought i was gonna held a maggie mee party but since there is cake, oh well, frgt the previous idea..hahaha pei wen gave me a SMILEY BAG! so CUTEE!!!!!!!!!!!! n june gave me a decorative item(reli want it so much!^^), SHE MEI gave me a handmade card with pictures n a beautiful highlighter! SO TOUHCHED..l.nesha gave me a card n chocolate! my faves!! hahaha n many more...THANKS GUYS... My family celebrate it in advanced with sushi treat! thanks A LOT ^^.......OKAY~ cont next time...nidda rush fr block meeting...ttfn~ ^^

updates~

HI~ its me (who else...zz)
I never knew how my life would be in the future. Really. NOt joking.
Look at me stil in matrix. but really had a stressed time however realy fun. I woke up to the morning shivers early at dawn today. Maybe its because of the pouring rain, maybe its just plainly because of the speedy fan above the bedshack. Its a friday. Lecture is waiting n i just rushed to the shower to get a quick one and put on a baju kurung. Today wasnt any more unordinaire but a quick painful one. Its okay, i will stop with the vain talk here. n i couldnt go on facebook bcoz of the lamo line!! argh~ thanks for those whom wished me fr my birthday, really appreciate it lots. Sorry i coulnt reply early. was really busy. again, no joke. Here bout here. Was busy as always, phone bill is high as always. no choice wt. homework stacking piles n piles n no joke, really, few tonnes. but how busy is it, really had fun here. Really had great memorable times wif frens, fr midnight talks, supper n stuff. Really smth that i didnt exprnc bfr. I just hope i can manage my time better in the future n thanks to you whom influence me well. gtg, update later...tata ^^

emo

Okies..yeap...here i m again...all stupidly miserable like usual, where i m suppose to blog bout my outing wif ma besties..i m crappin. Yeah, u got me. i m emo, aftr a long time. look, tis is why:

1) CHEMISTRY ASSIGNMENT which my friend remind me from day 1 to do
2) CHEMISTRY TUTORIAL ChAPTER 5 (which again reminded, now no diff)
3) MATHEMATICS TUTORIAL(CHAPTER 5 WHICH I DID NOT FOR GUDNESS Sake bring back the buk)
4) DOUBLE math quiz (isnt this getting brilliant)
5)GIMP ASSIGNMENT (wow, didnt start)
6) biology revision(stuck)
7)chem revision(wth is tat)
8) my story books are all over selangor n malaysia(NO JOKE)
9)still not enuf sleep
10)miss my friend whom i dun think misses me
11) I niida go back to the northern state in less than 24 hours.

LOOK? i deserve to stress isnt it...I reli wan to just faint off...I M SO EMO THAT I DONT KNOW HOW TO DEAL WITH IT!*SCREAMS*ARGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! help me...how how how><''

FaRhAnA...^^

TODAY...
*drumrolls*

Before i do any post at all...

i would like to dedicate this post to..

its ok..lets see...

*make sure u scroll till the bottom*

WATER APPles
HAHA...okok, not the wtr apples..

FARHANA
*the senget wan, not the sopan wan*

oops...okok

FARHANA
*the cute wan*
better?

There you go.
Thanks for all the time we spent together...thanks fr al ta camwhores we had..
(yeah, of course, drain my camera's battery...)
and for the times we had together. how we study n go bookshop togethr to but books...
(ya right...lepak in czip lee got la..den stop by vanilla, den wait at tepi jalan from no rain till rain..den..walk to living cabin oso got..din see us so rajin go mph or lib oso)
Hard times when we help each other...-------->

(shutup, ur just waiting fr the jambu rite? n let samila do the work..XD n i m the camera girl...)
n the easy times when i m still the camera girl, n you are.............err...*gulps*

or when u have enuf snapshts that you want no more, i m still here as the cam girl, n u r.... *changing ur post, admit ni la, i noe u want it...*

n this is us...thanks dear for everything.......dramaqueen.....love you always...

Wow..studying.........okok...if i puji myself i thnk u will faint........so, thanks fr the time we spent together...will always remembr you no matter whr u go...wht u do...love you lots...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY FARHANA...

(belated, i din insert it cz i feel like this prttier...^^)
sorry that i forget it..hectic life n stressed...sorry dear...hope ur not angry...n cant celebrate wif you this year..but we shall celebrate it next week durin outing ok?...
take care miss me o...^^

My life so far

My blog has been really boring with no updates but what i shall do bout that..

nothing. haha. okay, lets start of with me in Perlis.

Life has been kinda nice to me. despite the fact i couldnt get the jpa scholarship to study in med school. Well, thsat was very really heartbrkng.

frustrated i couldnt do better in the past. but finally i do believe everything hsppen for a gud reason. undeniably. painful.

okay, stop the vain talk. NOw i really do feel better after all that i went tru. i believe i can still enter med school via matrix. i mean local U.

really hope to get into medic course. Its my dream.

Its something i would do for my whole life.

suffer or not, i m going for it. i m really thankful i got the chance to study in matrix, smthn to lay on.

Its really nice, although that taking 3 majors would be very very hard compared to taking 11 mix of both. funny. I still yet forget to bring the cable to the library. couldnt update pics. i took tonnes. Reallly a truckload. No joke.

Here as usual, less sleep, more work. no doubt.

midnight sleep almost everyday n ur dreading for weekends is really exhausting. strive to fight sleepyness in class esp when ur in front of the teachers table. (Why did i chose that seat again?) why did i?? okay, forget it.

Here, the library is really superb. trust me. neevr seen one like it befr. n my besties here are really very nice (corrupted, senget)
Homework is piling up high, assignments, tutorials n studies for quiz..really stress..!

The Teachers here are superb..they are reli very gud n nice.reli had fun. but nidda WORK VERY VERY HARD. one funny thing, when the atm machine is spoilt, majorities went dry , out of cash. no joke.

its like a huge crisis over here. include me.

HAHA. okok.gtg..dun wan nag so long. n thanks to my parents n family whom support me all ta time, my bestie in institute bahasa(watashiwa fion cutie desu! Anatawa hana not cutie desu! WAHAHAHA)

n oso my other close frens. Thanks to you in smk hussein onn 2, to rela hati hear me talk crap in the phone for hours, although u no time.appreciate it lots. Thanks. Hopefully can cope wif the studies here.

Hope the best for me ya.^^

KMP

Kolej Matrikulasi Perlis.

It was very fun. Really. I got loads of experience to be independent. wake up early to wash clothes, volleyball in dusk..study...workload. I met many people from many backgrounds..people whom touched my heart, people whom I really cared.Now all I can do is travel this journey of mine to the best it can go. Wait for me. I m trying to let go, if it comes bck to me, we're meant to be. If it doesn't, it was never mine. Now on a 3days break. will go bck. on sunday..take a truckload of pics..will upload soon..wait fr me ya!!thts all fr now...take care..^^

perlis

I M REALLY GOIN TO PERLIS!! Okay, chill, BUT HOW?? HAVENT PACK FINISH!! n dun feel like packing..den comes in the sore throat, flu..gudness..how now how now?? *smacks*
bye Fb, bye my baby bloggie, bye room, bye onlining, bye every1, bye XY. .byebye

Time

The history of mine has made me believe that time will cure everything. It will. I truly believe if i withstand more pain, put up a thicker wall n bear with it, I believe, time will help me.