its me..now..at tis point..i reli felt the pain..in my heart..reli felt it..i got distracted..i decided 2 tell though..coz...i want 2 do wats best fr me..well...distracted...i knew it too well...bt i cant afford 2 let myself go unless i cn gt myself back....now everythng i do is controlled by my own will...how i stayed strong 2 keep myself in place..2 make things fade away...i noe its too risky fr me..way 2 risky..thus i nvr let it in myself...now..as a lil tym passed...i felt ta pain..ta pain of ignorance...u cn nevr imagined ta pain..its like...u noe its wrong..very wrong...bt apart of u..wants it 2 be right...u r fighting with urself 2 keep urself in place..in ta momentum..now...wen it fades a lil..n ta distraction goes against u..as if thrs no distraction tat worth the tears....bt its gttng stronger..ta hurt..in u..bt knowing its the better...i m willing 2 let go...stay focused...nt lttng thngs tt r way 2 risky get into me...hopefully..thngs will fade away...n then i no longer nid 2 bear tis distraction.....now..to go against myself...its really painfull...tearfull..but i really hope..someday it will worth the tears i beared today...
~Letting go~
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Sunday, December 28, 2008
distracted..
its me..now..at tis point..i reli felt the pain..in my heart..reli felt it..i got distracted..i decided 2 tell though..coz...i want 2 do wats best fr me..well...distracted...i knew it too well...bt i cant afford 2 let myself go unless i cn gt myself back....now everythng i do is controlled by my own will...how i stayed strong 2 keep myself in place..2 make things fade away...i noe its too risky fr me..way 2 risky..thus i nvr let it in myself...now..as a lil tym passed...i felt ta pain..ta pain of ignorance...u cn nevr imagined ta pain..its like...u noe its wrong..very wrong...bt apart of u..wants it 2 be right...u r fighting with urself 2 keep urself in place..in ta momentum..now...wen it fades a lil..n ta distraction goes against u..as if thrs no distraction tat worth the tears....bt its gttng stronger..ta hurt..in u..bt knowing its the better...i m willing 2 let go...stay focused...nt lttng thngs tt r way 2 risky get into me...hopefully..thngs will fade away...n then i no longer nid 2 bear tis distraction.....now..to go against myself...its really painfull...tearfull..but i really hope..someday it will worth the tears i beared today...
~Letting go~
~Letting go~
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