illusion..

Those path to be trvelled..unknown left to all of us..no exclusion..those hazy mirage..eithr as v hav hoped fr or not..doesnt matters..its kept unsure..unreal..for me..as a student of life..learn to fit in...by being myself in my own life..2 experience thngs i m not even sure...weird it seems..bt for me...its kinda...challenging..wen u hv 2 beat urself in ur very own life..especially if u hv 2 go against ur will n hopes..n unconcluded answer...for me again..i wanna let go all these i m going tru..coz by going tru tis,i felt weak n distracted..i m taking a major exam...n i nid 2 score n excel...i gotta get tat scholarship i hoped for..nvm...bt now it seems...y m i doin tis?i dont get myself..m i pretending sum1 else can save me from myself?those path i hv put myself into....how far can i move on with you making me struggle 2 let go tis illusion...i gotta wake myself up frm tis unreal path...i had once put myself into making a choice...of ths..but..now..i dun hav 2 bcoz ta fill in me has went off....how u do it but i reli cant bear wif you...i placed high hopes..bt thnk tis is ta best path for me....i dun wanna let myself deeper into tis misery which is not even maked for me..i juz drop by ur memory to leave sum remembrance..maybe thts wat v r fated for...v r friends...i cant wait tht long....bcoz i dun wan to...i gotta let go...

~path~

attached..

Aujordhui,je suis triste..tres triste..je comprende ma je ne veux pas...nvm get on wif myself..2day...i made ta right decision to let u go at first...tears fr now n ta rest of ta night will be worth it...i reli wanna forget u..i couldnt pay ta price...of not to...thnx fr helping me though u might not realise bcoz fr u....i m like a....hmm...homosapien..fine..wat a fancy word...2night i sleep with no more hopes attached on you..to me to be awaken at 2morrow morning...wen ta dawn comes...i hope i forget u as how i left the tears behind.....nothng else...but me...

..play

i went to metro poin go see bosco wong...yestdy...took lots pic...bt lazy upload...ltr ni...haha...gt hs autograph n shook his hand....lalala....haha...hmm...nowadays i felt funny in me...cant accept the fact...i miss you..i noe u were just plying with me bt..sori fr falling into ur trap..okay..even i felt more sorry for myself fr doing ths....very sorry...u dun hv 2 continue ths game of urs...no point k...stop it...i m afraid i cant stop myself....pls....understand my feelings..i hope...

~hopefull~

distracted..

its me..now..at tis point..i reli felt the pain..in my heart..reli felt it..i got distracted..i decided 2 tell though..coz...i want 2 do wats best fr me..well...distracted...i knew it too well...bt i cant afford 2 let myself go unless i cn gt myself back....now everythng i do is controlled by my own will...how i stayed strong 2 keep myself in place..2 make things fade away...i noe its too risky fr me..way 2 risky..thus i nvr let it in myself...now..as a lil tym passed...i felt ta pain..ta pain of ignorance...u cn nevr imagined ta pain..its like...u noe its wrong..very wrong...bt apart of u..wants it 2 be right...u r fighting with urself 2 keep urself in place..in ta momentum..now...wen it fades a lil..n ta distraction goes against u..as if thrs no distraction tat worth the tears....bt its gttng stronger..ta hurt..in u..bt knowing its the better...i m willing 2 let go...stay focused...nt lttng thngs tt r way 2 risky get into me...hopefully..thngs will fade away...n then i no longer nid 2 bear tis distraction.....now..to go against myself...its really painfull...tearfull..but i really hope..someday it will worth the tears i beared today...

~Letting go~

Music...

Today went 2 metro inn fr gift ceremony...ta perfomers were damn cunted....i wonder how long thy practice everyday.....haha^^

Me n Pui Ling....-finally gt fren 2 chat^^-

~me n pui ling again..you so cute..~

~Ta pic gt blur..i noe..i noe..fat ody..^^~

~Me in ta crowded stage...~

-p-i-a-n-i-s-t-

lost

i..dont knw wht u r up to...felt so blur..doesnt matters..wht sppose 2 come will come n wht not sppose 2 will fade away..haih~felt useless...hmm..yestdy..went 2 music class...n dunno why...my piano songs all oso -d-e-t-a-c-h-e-d-wan...din kena scold oso gud d...haha...den my teachr suddenly saw my nail...omg...-not spose 2 keep long nails fr piano lessons..-..haha..no wndr it made a kind of clicking sounds..okay...hv ntg 2 do....now...haven even made app fr dentst. haih~!
okie lo...tata..^^

~Lost~

miserable

today is a really miserable day, well i never thought it would be in this hols..but out of no where there are emptiness challenging my sanity..how m i suppose 2 deal with that?for no reason..i felt alone...for no reason..i felt empty..why?felt somethng is missing right there in the core of my soul..now its just the matter of time before it tears my soul apart..then..?i shud kneel down a pick up the pieces?then what should i do with it?i am weird..out of no where...i felt miserable for everybit of my life.....now i can only hope things will work out for me...or else...


~Out of no where~

Looking back


Shall i count,
those time we're together,
or those when we're apart,
seeking no pain when it had just begun,
knowing no truth,
as it hurt so much.

The path,
that you put me through,
leaving me numb,
by my shadows,
when will it end,
i question myself,
till now,
i got nothing but dust.

I never think twice,
for what i've done,
but i never forget,
what misery made for me,
how it carves into my sanity,
Tearing my soul apart.



~The Silent Friendship~

twilight

Yesterday, i wanted 2 write a post..but i was engaged with breaking dawn..cant resist...thankfully, i m done now..bcoz since i took twilight frm my bro who dont bothr reading much..^^i m addicted..i dont noe y..bt the conclusion was i m addicted..till i m done with breaking dawn..i stuck with ta books fr a bout 1 week..ta first thng in the morning n the last thing before bed at nite..well the consequences..i hv panda eyes..haha..my mum was lyk...'will u ever stop..'..i was lyk..a while..haha..-ya right-ystdy, me n my frens-21 ppl plus my bro- went 2 watch twilight..it was nice bt reading is much more fun..coz thy kinda cut short ta story in the movie..well...i sat wif my bro-tats nt ta huge thng- n wif navee hu is obsesed wif her edward n kalai wif her carlisle...haha....thy completed ta dialogues..wow....tat is smthng..despite 'kekurangan tempat duduk..'haha..I dont noe y but i reli like EDWARD CULLEN!!!! He is so nice...n felt so happy fr dem in breaking dawn whr they live 2gthr fr eternity.....anyway..looking foward fr midnite sun...nw..haha...bt those hu did not read ta books i reli thnk tat ta book is reli nice...



~Me~

Hihi....yestdy tired...so din ryt blog....on friday...was a blast!!oh wait.....on thursday 1st...i went to yi ling hse n do suprise mini party fr yi may..-so-called-suprise-party-n i gav her a colour cube...frgot to print ta formula fr her...hahaha..n yi ling bought cake...wellli noe it was supposed to be Yi May's bufday but..................................................in the end..........................guess wat...me n yi ling eat ta most cakes!!.....wakakaka..tis is how it look lyk..... The cake yi ling bought fr yi may...

My colour cube...........^^

Yi May's wishes.......i guess wat is it??

Then..on friday...v ate pizza..me n yiling shared a set...very full....den v nid 2 go metro point..welll....i went thr 2 buy teachr present fr sum stuff...bt in the end...i end up shopping wif yi ling n kalai n navee n daya....who abandoned me n yl halfway....latr.....v went to ta bowling alley...but i m not playin...until...............kalai n navee bought fr me ta place!!bt i onli play a lil...ta rest...yeah n ta othr finish up fr me......at 5 i nid to go sch....but then.....................IT WAS RAINING CATS N DOGS!!!OMG...me n farhana bought umbrellas......n me, umai ,farhana a...n farhana hamid...-miss ya- go tru a verrry challenging n seram xperience....bt farhana -both- drive me n umai nutz!!wakakaka v laughed all ta way.....till v reached sch.....

Ta alley......

I lyk tis colour..^^

Me n Frens.....................

Donut freak...............-OURS NOT MINE ONLY!!^^-

wELL..tis view only can be seen in FRIM in Malaysia..n Papua New Guinea.......

~Continue nex tym...^^~