Friday, December 11, 2009
This is a little 'late' but still wanna say it......
SPM IS OVER!!! I REPEAT.....SPM IS OVER!!!
All this while's effort, those sleepless nights, the eyebags, the lights which accompany me to bed(didnt realise i fall asleep), caffein shot in the evenings or tea, resist temptations, movies,all those pages in the book i've flipped(have a look at my unique and exquisite history book),all notes,all exercises n all concentration, i have finished everything already!! I can barely believe it..now, i still feel guilty when i watch television whole day(not that i like it but i dun have anythng btter to do),blogging is fun,and well,gotta watch out my diet..hahaha I am gonna take license too in few weeks time, n yeah baby, i will tour around the town(dont remind me about the fuel though.=.=) AND i m 17 going on 18!feel kinda old..haha...i still feel the exhaustion though and migraine came these few nights.I hope it will run off in the next few days(and i thought it was the caffein's fault) I m gonna miss my dear school, teachers(thank you a lot...)and friends, and those crazy stuff we did together, seriously i dont think i will ever find any1 like them...they are the bestest frens you can find! I LOVE YOU GUYS!!! NOw hols,i m gonna start sketching my plan...muahaha..
THANKS FOR EVERYTHING TEACHER,I WILL MISS YOU SO MUCH
.(this pic i shud put long tym ago, but have upload to pc...)
Thursday, December 10, 2009
Its has been a long year. long way to come ahead. long dwindling route
for me to
choose on my future life. since its almost christmas, i might as
well call it a
frozen snowy road in front of me waiting to be walked on. In
the poem 'the road
not taken', signifies me in my life, the pathway i am on.
Well, an ordinary girl
like me wont do much harm to anybody right?(except to
my bro) yeah, indeed, a
never ending journey for decades to come, waiting
for me, to be studied as my
journey that i chose to be a doctor in future.
my unnoticable in my life,as
simple as i am, is how complex i am inside. i
have no idea where this
'enthusiasm'come from. but indeed, my life journey
was never easy especially
through out this final year in school, challenging
bumpy road i had went tru hav
i?people walking by my sides, frens all have
yet to be parted now.at least till
wew meet again in a decade?2
decades?(ignore the fact that we will meet at the
'big'result day, oh yeah
man, i m so nervous.) i also had no idea where my
emoness come from, maybe i
adopted this 'habit' in a dream?but 1 thing i am
sure, nobody would like it
as i reli want it to go away.seriously, i dont know
why my bro can be so
'hoi sam guo' all the time.haha.=)..^^V..there he goes
again. i will regret
over small small stuff,even tiniest mistake, it seems lyk i
cant
accept the nature of a human whom always do mistakes have i?i just
cant, dont know why though.Just gotta get tru it and move on like every
homosapien does out there. hopefully. i dont want regret my life. the life others have been living so nicely,happy. sometimes, i am jealous.jealous of lack of feelings in otr ppl, but too much in me. I can see the gradient between me and allmy friends. Theres good thing to all this though.For this, am grateful. Thank you.
Sunday, December 6, 2009
I 've woke up feeling empty, lost. Dreaming related dreams one after another, torturing me although i had let go. Not joking, i kept dreaming the same type of dream few nights after another, making me awake early of dawn, hoping its not true. Dreams aren't always what you think they are. when i woke up, a little dssappointment kicks in but, i m so thankful that what happen was just a dream. Even in my illusion world i can feel the torture like how i did when i m in reality. The pain. Thankfully, as time passes by, i no longer dream the same torturing dream. It gets better. and better, fader day by day. No longer wake up drenched with piles of hurt nor do i wake up feeling alone. Well, normal emo-ness ya still there(emo whr can go away wan =.=)..but the rest, i m glad. ^^
OKAY,DONE....
now.......................................................
VISIT
i will remind u guys frm tym to tme....you wll know why
tata^^
Thursday, November 26, 2009
Its here and its gonna end, i question myself of what i regret. now its too late. i have no idea. i again ask myself, will my dreams be pursued or left behind. I'd never second thought my dreams to take up medicine course whtr i get JPA or matrix or not.with god's willing n blessing, i pray hard so god can help me. without scholarship, i will still pursue my dreams, maybe cut ta cost of living first. taking up loan which will get me decades to pay. now, i have no idea whtr this road is still open for me. i have done many mistakes in my life and i dont want thus to be one of them. SPM~the pathway for my future. i dont know whtr the future stil hold the same wish i did when i first found my goal. I dont know.
Sunday, November 1, 2009
A dream I dreamt yesterday after studying biology..
Had no idea why.....
I was walking through the brightly lit pavement at night. The cold wind slaps my face as i pass through the shops which is still busy with visitors. Alone with my thoughts, I walk away. Have no idea when, I've been with a small girl, probably is my daughter or somewhat, she has the most adorable pink cheeks i have ever seen, the most beautiful brown curled hair i have ever touched. We were chased. I ran for my life and brought her along. Somehow, we hid in a balcony. i put her in the wshng mhn and hid behind the baskets filled with clothes. I ask her to close the lid so nobody can ever find her, nobody can ever hurt her. All I want is for her to be safe.The person that we were runnin from found me. I went off with him, hoping the girl would not be caught.I was thrown harsh into a secluded area with hundreds of people. I fall into the arms of someone i knew, someone i really loved. *a** not in reality, but in my dreams. He wore red that day. i was glad i met him. really thankful because i know, if he is there, i will be safe, or dying with him would be a much better option than looking at him suffer n leave me alone. We rushed to the sides of the building. locked. the outer compound is all locked up. I m worried of the girl. really. Than as the subject came into the area, we turned around to avoid its attention. then, he gave, us a line. the doors will be opened for 2 seconds and those who got out will have a chance to escape, only if they come back through the other chamber. i ran my heart out. i screamed for him.*a**!!*a**!!where are you??i saw him running while his eyes are on me. i kept running untill then, when we were out, he held my hand and brought me to the othr chmbr. We made it. At that moment, though it was a dream, I felt the pain of losing the one you love. I felt the urge, the need to keep your loved once alive, no matter what its takes. Its was really hurtful. Then as the subject announce those who made it out may leave, He ask us a question, a person is missing from this class. Who is she? the fear creeps into my spines. I felt so scared that i regret i even brought the girl here. I held his hands and told him what happen to the girl we loved. he held my hands tight.And i woke up.
Monday, October 26, 2009
Ya, i miss you so much dearie..today's date
26th October 2009 I will remember forever o...hope you will remember me after i
leave school in a month time...because i will...^^ take care yourself, i will
come to visit frm time to time....maybe that time if your mum let, i mite bring
you around...or come to my hse fr a visit...thanks lots....okay, gotta go, i
need to study...^^
~miss ya~
THANKS FOR EVERYTHING TEACHER,I WILL MISS YOU SO MUCH