Torn between reality and dreams
today was another unexpected on call. Went to hospital to expect an ordinary ward rounds with our favourite specialist but she did not come today. so like usual, covering beds incase any medical officers make any rounds we gotta present. We are in our 4th year and rushing like heck to complete our log book full of requirements. I've rushed and rushed, not knowing in the process i might lose myself. What did i actually learn?did my case presentation improve? i dont think so. What i gain was the courage to stand up and say i would like to present this case. The first case was to a houseofficer in HRPZ which i did so badly but he was kinda cool so, it was fine. The next one, I have made own effort to go HRPZ on a public holidays with hope to clerk more patients, learn new stuff and this is my second presentation to a medical officer on an acute Rheumatic Fever superimposed with bacterial infection probably infective endocarditis where patient has a large VSD and here, i've learnt something. The third one is presentation of bronchopneumonia case with past hx of meningitis to a specialist in clinical teaching at HRPZ. The fourth one is to another houseofficer in the usm whom the case is bacterial pneumonia but here nothing much. The next one is to medical officer on acute bronchiolitis superimposed with bacterial infection and this was so so case. At night, presented my first ever case to a specialist in HUSM (Dr.S) and my legs was jittering I couldnt feel them. It was a simple febrile fit and dr stressed to rule out meningitis if not consequences coming for you tho. Today, this very night I've tried to present on bronchial asthma, a seemed so simple case, but for me the toughest in record already.Hard time arranging case and dr taught me so much on asthma that i felt i was next to knowing nothing this disease i've learnt for years! Senior was kind enough to give us the opportunity to present case, I felt guilty that she cant present, but thankful she gave me the chance. Thanks Rachel! If not, I would never know how little I dont know about asthma!i felt guilty but at the same time, if not, I wouldnt have been taught on asthma, and I would not improve and tonight ill be just another ordinary night where i've not presented any case and not learn anything. For me, medicine is an art that you practise. you learn from the mistakes of others and now as a student, i would like to grab any chances available to present my case so that i will learn when i got scoldings and guidance, I need that dr look in the eyes to tell me that i cannot kill any patient, I have to do something about it. I put all ego aside, all pride i washed it off and start zero. i want to present and let dr point out what i did wrong so I would not do such mistake in the future, so now meanwhile I can, i want to live by the motto just do it, wont die one. and by all the mistakes i've encounter and yet to come, i hope will shape me into a better safe dr in the future. filling in the logbook? learning more? I hope i could juggle more better =)
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Sunday, September 21, 2014
I don't know what I don't know
Torn between reality and dreams
today was another unexpected on call. Went to hospital to expect an ordinary ward rounds with our favourite specialist but she did not come today. so like usual, covering beds incase any medical officers make any rounds we gotta present. We are in our 4th year and rushing like heck to complete our log book full of requirements. I've rushed and rushed, not knowing in the process i might lose myself. What did i actually learn?did my case presentation improve? i dont think so. What i gain was the courage to stand up and say i would like to present this case. The first case was to a houseofficer in HRPZ which i did so badly but he was kinda cool so, it was fine. The next one, I have made own effort to go HRPZ on a public holidays with hope to clerk more patients, learn new stuff and this is my second presentation to a medical officer on an acute Rheumatic Fever superimposed with bacterial infection probably infective endocarditis where patient has a large VSD and here, i've learnt something. The third one is presentation of bronchopneumonia case with past hx of meningitis to a specialist in clinical teaching at HRPZ. The fourth one is to another houseofficer in the usm whom the case is bacterial pneumonia but here nothing much. The next one is to medical officer on acute bronchiolitis superimposed with bacterial infection and this was so so case. At night, presented my first ever case to a specialist in HUSM (Dr.S) and my legs was jittering I couldnt feel them. It was a simple febrile fit and dr stressed to rule out meningitis if not consequences coming for you tho. Today, this very night I've tried to present on bronchial asthma, a seemed so simple case, but for me the toughest in record already.Hard time arranging case and dr taught me so much on asthma that i felt i was next to knowing nothing this disease i've learnt for years! Senior was kind enough to give us the opportunity to present case, I felt guilty that she cant present, but thankful she gave me the chance. Thanks Rachel! If not, I would never know how little I dont know about asthma!i felt guilty but at the same time, if not, I wouldnt have been taught on asthma, and I would not improve and tonight ill be just another ordinary night where i've not presented any case and not learn anything. For me, medicine is an art that you practise. you learn from the mistakes of others and now as a student, i would like to grab any chances available to present my case so that i will learn when i got scoldings and guidance, I need that dr look in the eyes to tell me that i cannot kill any patient, I have to do something about it. I put all ego aside, all pride i washed it off and start zero. i want to present and let dr point out what i did wrong so I would not do such mistake in the future, so now meanwhile I can, i want to live by the motto just do it, wont die one. and by all the mistakes i've encounter and yet to come, i hope will shape me into a better safe dr in the future. filling in the logbook? learning more? I hope i could juggle more better =)
today was another unexpected on call. Went to hospital to expect an ordinary ward rounds with our favourite specialist but she did not come today. so like usual, covering beds incase any medical officers make any rounds we gotta present. We are in our 4th year and rushing like heck to complete our log book full of requirements. I've rushed and rushed, not knowing in the process i might lose myself. What did i actually learn?did my case presentation improve? i dont think so. What i gain was the courage to stand up and say i would like to present this case. The first case was to a houseofficer in HRPZ which i did so badly but he was kinda cool so, it was fine. The next one, I have made own effort to go HRPZ on a public holidays with hope to clerk more patients, learn new stuff and this is my second presentation to a medical officer on an acute Rheumatic Fever superimposed with bacterial infection probably infective endocarditis where patient has a large VSD and here, i've learnt something. The third one is presentation of bronchopneumonia case with past hx of meningitis to a specialist in clinical teaching at HRPZ. The fourth one is to another houseofficer in the usm whom the case is bacterial pneumonia but here nothing much. The next one is to medical officer on acute bronchiolitis superimposed with bacterial infection and this was so so case. At night, presented my first ever case to a specialist in HUSM (Dr.S) and my legs was jittering I couldnt feel them. It was a simple febrile fit and dr stressed to rule out meningitis if not consequences coming for you tho. Today, this very night I've tried to present on bronchial asthma, a seemed so simple case, but for me the toughest in record already.Hard time arranging case and dr taught me so much on asthma that i felt i was next to knowing nothing this disease i've learnt for years! Senior was kind enough to give us the opportunity to present case, I felt guilty that she cant present, but thankful she gave me the chance. Thanks Rachel! If not, I would never know how little I dont know about asthma!i felt guilty but at the same time, if not, I wouldnt have been taught on asthma, and I would not improve and tonight ill be just another ordinary night where i've not presented any case and not learn anything. For me, medicine is an art that you practise. you learn from the mistakes of others and now as a student, i would like to grab any chances available to present my case so that i will learn when i got scoldings and guidance, I need that dr look in the eyes to tell me that i cannot kill any patient, I have to do something about it. I put all ego aside, all pride i washed it off and start zero. i want to present and let dr point out what i did wrong so I would not do such mistake in the future, so now meanwhile I can, i want to live by the motto just do it, wont die one. and by all the mistakes i've encounter and yet to come, i hope will shape me into a better safe dr in the future. filling in the logbook? learning more? I hope i could juggle more better =)
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