Note to farhana: i dun think u want to noe,
so seriously, dont have to read this.
I went to animal shelter today with my dad.
-hols 3 months, ntg to do..so do sum good deeds fill time-
When i reached there, i pushed the door open and see many dogs around.
(stop reading farhana..dun say i din warn u).
I walk to the counter wif my dad.
So, since tomorrow will be a jumble sale, many ppl were there. So i help them out with the books...
THERE were tonnes, n tonnes n tonnes of books.(I M NOT JOKING).
ITS donated by people.
So there is a friendly girl, she is doing her a-levels now,she is so friendly. She guided me how to do the task n stuff. She is reli nice. AND then, i saw many dogs around.
THEY WERE SUPER CUTEEEEEEEE!!!
Well, there were cats too but they were in the cages,
maybe they dun nid tat, THAT much exercise.
So, sum free dogs will walk around n theres tis white dog named Lulu.
so frenly,
i see like she is smiling, I can't help but smile back at her. She came around my legs like targeting at my hands or watch, i dont know..=.=
I just continue to do work while Lulu then walk to other ppl n there is tis girl whom distracted Lulu that PUT HER HANDS IN LULU'S MOUTH!!!
n Lulu likes it so much...she nibbled n nibbled....SUPER CUTE...n Lulu did sum rolling stuff-later, she was playing or flirting with other dogs..n they ran around n around n...well...I dont know...-
There is oso another dog but i forget to ask the name. Its brown in colour. n I dont know but when i was standing there, she/he stand on its feet n
PUT BOTH HER?HIS PAWS ON MY HAND LIKE TRYING TO STAND AGAINST ME....
I was like..'scare me la you'..=.=
Then I met PUMPKIN.
.a 2 months old dog..still small.puppy actually.
Its so BEAUTIFUL...like cream colour..she looks like 'manja manja like that' n
REALLY look like those advertisement type of beautiful dog, beautiful brown eyes.
i look at her n she look at me back..super terharu.....
.i think she is about to take afternoon nap...really feel like want to take her home..but home no place to keep dog..sad..I love you pumpkin. Next time i take her pic k...tis tym no chance bcoz so busy arranging the books. if u dont want to touch dogs or really hyper afraid of dogs, do prepare mentally, frankly speaking, they wil TOUCH you.^^
so,
ANY OF YOU WHOM WANT TO GET A DOG, DONT BUY IN SHOP, ADOPT THEM FROM ANIMAL SHELTER. THEY NEED A HOME.

inspiration

When i look into their eyes, i sense fear. Fear,but not the negative type of fear,not meaning they are scared. Its the fear of being exposed to a new thing, to a new world. Still, what courages me the most is how they took their fear as inspiration and move forward, following the lead of a person, wise and experienced which only gotten by age. This touched me as i felt i am a total stranger from another world from them but watching their acts closely. As i have always been all the while.

~Inspiration~

Actually, i was wondering, when i pursue my studies in the future, will i stay the way i m like i m in school? trying my best to bring sunshine wherever i go? trying my best to make people smile? I couldnt deny, highschool was a blast for me, i learnt a lot, and my personality well, did upgrade a lil, by the years. From a person whom type of really innocent girl to a lonely, self dependent girl as i grew maybe because lack of friends, or maybe i had not learn how to be dependent to others,tho surrounded by many people, to a person whom learnt to have true friends, when i start to depend a lil by lil to my bestest frens in primary, never looking back at the past, to a person whom build a really close relationship with few friends n i felt like we belong in the same world, tho she is indifferent but i talk more a lil. i hav always felt her care to me in her very own special way.^^ This period of time in primary,i was kinda introvert i would say. Like anything happens in the outside world that doesnt involve me n my bestfriend will not affect us. We are happy as we are. really happy. We went separate class tho in 2ndary,but we still keep in touch.. In high school, i changed into a person which i had not knew. Seriously, i was an indifferent person at first,not much feeling, nothing matters to me...like 'i couldnt care less' that type of person. As tym passes, learnt a lot from my close frens, n well, i m kinda cheerful,open n happy..well, at least that is what eveyone see. My emo problem always come in the way, i hadnt know how to get rid of it. Its, painful. Time by time, i grew up to be a person whom cared for others more than anything else, even more than myself. I dont really think what matters to me, but all i had been thinking is of others feeling, others heart, others opinion...so that i will never hurt them in any way. I learnt by day, if i hurt any1, i will blame myself fr countless times,which is very,very painful.The burden is too heavy. Sometimes, i prefer to be myself which is feelingless,cold, then, i wouldnt care less bout other things, but by doing this, i will hurt ppl too... In the future, i cannot guarantee i wouldnt continue to change, i dont know when i will shut myself down again, when i will be cold again, when i will close myself from others..i donnt know..

..?

BREAKING NEWS : Ya, not gonna copy farhana

MELTING NEWS: This is ORIGINAL... i m lost
OKAY, look, my future, no IDEA HOW..gonna get it though..
Well, CNY comin..so MANY MANY people will ask bout my plans, i really
appreciate the concern...thanks..: ) But one fact, though i have my plans,
god will decide. I have no idea how to answer my relatives n frns, I m
worried i make them havin high impression to me. Which i really dont
want because i m worried i cant reach that std.
NOW, got sum stuff to settle, n GONNA GET L license tis week n go classes so
i CAN ROCK THE ROAD!! YEAH man..careful o guys....i hope i can get a job as i m
unemployed. gudness..pity betul..
PIANO, my nails really will scratch the keys...sakit hati..but, a few keys spoil
already, sad, its sort of slow down, Anybody knows any cheap service for
'clavinova', electric piano contact me ya, or email me. OR if i gotta change the
full set, anywhr cheap?^^ OH, my bro will be glad bout this, in national service, they
will check nails.==' just brilliant.

BOOKS, my storybooks, i've been re-reading already. TO avoid spending so much
on them..hahah...hols not very convenient to borrow frm frens...^^
CNY clothes, I bought a few clothes n short jeans...but i need a pair of long
jeans. Some colour of faded grey maybe, or a dark blue fading yellowish maybe,
-dun tell me all jeans look the same, because before i did this survey of the jeans,
they were totally diff frm size to size n frm brand to brand. ==' Using white crocs,
nono, not crocs, just smthng like that..haha n oso prom shoes...^^

LOSING WEIGHT...top of to do list...hahaha....trying my best o...^^

ambition

I woke up when the sun was considered on top of my head. With the groggy face and puffy eyes due to overtime sleeping,i strolled down the stairs and found out that it was really noon. it was quiet today in the house though. i walk to the door n look out. this type of serenity i had longed since back then. sometimes, i would wish that time would just stop for me. so i can truly appreciate what i have. not dreading for what i dont. for now, when i think of my ambition, i slowly lose the confidence to do it as i really dont hv much confidence since i was small even n it sort of deplete by time. I started to think i cant do this n i worry i coulndt cope. What about my aims then?what about the expectations of people around me?what about the cost? What i have for back up? Eachtime i think of my course of choice, i couldnt imagine myself doin smth else in life, and at the same time, i think of the phrase ''ukur baju di badan sendiri'' . A voice kept tellin me that its too heavy but i kept telling myself as lonbg as i work for it, everything wud be alright. Its the battle against my senses. With no resolution.

YAYA>>>
no dreading post... okok...so today went for an interview...please, dun wanna mention it..haha...so alrite, then my mum n i went shoping...end up only me bought clothes n reali spoonfed myself sum foodstuff... bought sum shorts n oso long sleeved tee...i wanted to grab sum jeans but not reli suitable tho..... got discount!so saved money...hahaha for CNY...cumin up soon...i hav collected clothes already since last yr but not enuf o...shoes buy od...white sandles..haha...even if i include ...hmm... think gotta do more shoppin!

Dilemma

I really very sad, but 1 thing i've been told i m good in is hiding my feelings really far. Do you have to say that? All the while oso the same, really dilemma. I m so screeching with pain inside but u never understand. This type of thing really dont work on me. Trust me, no matter how hurt i m, i m not affected then. Please, tho i didnt show, doesnt mean i dont care.

~Care~

mixed feelings

SOmetimes, well, most of the time, I like to keep things that well, i feel its unecessary to tell. I am very selfish now i can tell, that i did not think of someone elses feeling, but i just doesnt like to explain so much. Whatever i m doin, i have planned it already, i know what i am doing. That it why i dont feel the need to explain so much where it will cause more threads frm it isnt it? I dont mind people complaining bout me, well, i m glad i have patience..seriously, cold temper, though its gud that i wun have to fight with any1 but, when i say cold temper, i really mean cold. I dont mind hearing people talking to me for hours about against something i had in mind at the same time doesnt feeling much.not annoyed. not angry. not sad. nothing. Well, you should say 'oh, u shud be glad its cold not hot'oh yeah ? i really have feeling that by cold tempering or mere indifferent or regard it as feelinless will cause others more annoyed. but. cant change it. sorry. thats me. i will try my best to change for the better that i had now realised. i will try.

NEW YEAR RESOLUTION

NEW YEAR RESOLUTION
which is super belated! My fren said i mite as well do it in august or sept because i mite as well do it fr 2011.==' Okay..LETS go!!!

2010

The biggest, cutest, pinkest(u think i m farhana meh), YEAR!!!
Okay, This year will be marvellous(i really hope)..everyine chasin their dreams...
but 1 thing, guys, we muz keep in touch k, i really miss you all so desprately, the laughters, the craziness, the annoyance haha..kiddin!
Okay,so the new year is here..hohoho (christmas meh..outdtd betul)
so, There is a well, a lil few stuff
(note to self~fion, dont trust fion when she say that~)

1. Get excellent result for SPM(pray for me)
2. Get driving license n rock the road..woohoo...
3. Get a scholarship
4. Ge a job n earn sum bucks
5. Get JPA or matriculation
6. Watch my diet (yalar yalr)
7. do charity i hope
8. Shoppng!
9. Settle unsettled issue with certain party or certain people
10. Outing wif frens (note to self~wait till ur expanses go up n see wat u got to say!!)


Hopefully, this year will be a much better year than before, bringin new experience.
No more impulsive, thoughtless, clumsy action.! n absorb that theory of
'think before you do'
OKAY.i hope. Then, hope i will be accepted to institutes that i want n cope wif it. HOpe i can love my family more everyday. HOpe i wun be so cold.
(Once, i called tracy n complained that i m kinda cold already n Tracy regards cold as mature because she said by then u will think more than u say, so u wun blurt out unnecesary nonsense!like the current me..==')

Hope i wun have to hide anything frm people i care. Hope i can change my negative attitudes(haha). HOpe i will not hurt anyone in my life.

REALLY SORRY FOR THOSE WHOM HAVE HURT EMOTIONALLY or PHYSICALLY(like any smacking).
Sorry if i never cared what are you all's feeling or opinions. Sorry, if i did somthing that bring u all to trouble. Sorry if i bring any pain to any of u without me realising. Sorry if i offended anyone in anyway as a student, a daughter or a sister or as a friend or as a secretary or prefect or ajk. or as a 'jie'. I did not mean it.

Really SORRY from the bottom of my heart.

Hope everything will cruise smoothly n happilyin 2010. ^^

template

FOUND! FOUND! YIPPEE>>>hope it wun sesat again!

~My banner..reported missing since i dont know when~



WHAT IS WRONG WiTH tHE banner??Who ate it up?dont know why it dissapear. I thought my pc got prob then slow, or lagging..Then til now, its still empty. I try to retrieve n reload n adjust but still dont have.....haih..so ma fan..nidda go find new banner...sad...haih..gotaa hunt!^^

People tend to fear death which they had not know when shall come.
Death which signifies the end of something as well as a begining.
Yes, i admit...death is a part that is unavoidable in our life as a mortal but the acceptance of the fact wouldnt be pleasant at all.
but try to think about it, human go on with their life just as it is,
never know when the angel of death will come.
Nevr expected.
Precaution of basic life safety is yeah needed.
This feeling of responsibility is a lil heavy isnt it? but its vital.
Try comparing with those whom knew when they are going to die, waiting and dreading every moment of it. The fear, which state the moment.
like, this is the time.
its even painful for those whom knew when they will go because, they know the fact of them leaving their loved ones behind.
Even, for a person to expect the death of someone is also dreadfully painfull.
but this is the circle of life.
nothing can stop it and we have to move on to the next phase of life. want it or not.
its how life goes.

I miss you...^^
So long din hv chance see you od wo...
i oso dunno why i got this nice feeling seeing you, no matter i have what problem, when i think that i will be seeing you, all problems will go away n gimme a break a while.
last time, i look foward to seeing you everyday.
I m so dissapointed when you are not around or what.
I just dont know why i treat you different frm other ppl.
I dont care what people say oso, no mtr its ur acuaintance or mine. I really dont mind at all..as long as you dont mind o....
miss you dear.
i really do.

• 
  

SoRrY ItS A Lil late but this is my new year resolution...befor that..gt sum stuf to mention...^^


First of all, I want to say thanks to people around me especially god, my family, teachers and friends whom have helped me tru out the way.

God has helped me in my life. I have always turn to god when i have undissolved matter and god will always be there for me. Looking out after me. Helpin me mend my way. i clearly remembr how god help me wen i was so down. i pray hard n talk to god, asking fr help. Now, I dont know how to express my feeling of gratitude with words. Thanks.

My family has given me the most support i can never have imagined. i m a person whom wouldnt say out much bout my life to family as i think i can stay strong myself. I think there is no need to bother other ppl especially my family as i can solve my own problems n i dont think it would be mch help to me and i hate to repeat the negatv path but i wasnt tat rite. The feeling of being supported by a family is a real different feeling. Its a type of feeling like you have a support n dont have to worry of leaning down bcoz thr is sum1 to catch u. My parents has been vry considerate n excld me frm much chores whn i m hvn exam n hav to study all the time. They did not mind when i spend more tym with the books in my room everynight by my table than being with them nor i did go outing during weekends.

My dad really is vry caring...he will lookout fr me no mttr in wat i do n let me follow my dreams without question as long as i know what i m doin. At nite, once in a while whn studying, well...tak pasal pasal i feel scared cuz studying alone...he will accompany me even its in the middle of the nite...(i feel bersalah u noe..bt no choice...if i kept scared ni den i will end up sleeping..==') My dad help me wif my chores wen i m bz studying...n giv the most love a person can receive in their life. Thanks dad...

My mum is a lil strict but i can feel her love in her own special way. She will giv me freedom i wanted as well as caring fr my safety at the same time.(I m truly impressed by her method..seriously...i hv no idea hw she can gv me wat i want at the same time..what she expects from me....That is why i try my very best to save her the worriness...i dont want them to wori bout me...) My mum is willing to help me out if i hv any mttr at all...n discuss stuff with me n have my opinion...in things that will affect me...sometimes, i feel like she is like my sister..she is reli cute tho...she try her best to shape me as a gud person that will hv good atitude with her own way as well....i love you mum.

My bro leh..tho noti noti...(dun angry o) but he is vry nice leh(if didnt kek me)..help me hafal moral nilai wen my exam nite tat tym...^^..teach me to spin basketball(yalr..i will cut my fingrnail.) den teach me moonwalk(i stil cant moonwalk...==') teman me do chores......tuck me to bed(JUST KIDDING!! funny lar..exaggerAATING)..haha...let me nag bout school whl day...ur ta best!



Teachers in school..whom i truly cherish....help me lots in academic n life....without them...thr will no be me today...thanks...fr guiding me tru tis path...especially YOU teacher...^^

Friends.....Thanks fr helping me truout the way...sharing the nuttest, craziest times n oso the sad times with me..thanks fr those whom changed my life fr the bttr...n also those whom sat there n listen me whine without fuss...fr those whom gv me inspiration to study...This...i will remember forever....oso to my online frens...fr givin me ta chance to bug u at nite...n oso...to samila...next tym, trust me k when crossing the road...i will make it quick n safe...==' transparent dress~ one day i will improve my speed!^^

To my 'dear' in school...i will always miss you>>>you are free to find me anytime you want>>^^

Books...i oso will miss you all...(p/s i love you so much o...really. till my bro nag me bout the 'perfect condition' of the books n i warn him bout ta usual innavaibility of sej book in czip lee....) you*books* are so nice, accompany me to sleep. eat n oso watch tv..hahaha

school, i love you. i miss goin to school ody, miss running in the field(YA RIGHT), miss 'strolling'on the field(sound more proper), miss my prefect duty...miss doin reports...miss the feeling of the tired legs standing during essembly, miss doin rondaan...miss doin homework(...?!!?!) miss my class...miss loitering...(i m a gud gal actually...)...see you soon.

hmm...ok...new year reso keep fr next post..hahaha...tata^^

HAPPY NEW YEAR TO EVERYONE!!!
Hope you all have a wonderful journey ahead in year 2010.

Hope all the aims n goals that you made will come true! Accomplish your purpose in life n find the passion to live it to the fullest!!!