ambition

I woke up when the sun was considered on top of my head. With the groggy face and puffy eyes due to overtime sleeping,i strolled down the stairs and found out that it was really noon. it was quiet today in the house though. i walk to the door n look out. this type of serenity i had longed since back then. sometimes, i would wish that time would just stop for me. so i can truly appreciate what i have. not dreading for what i dont. for now, when i think of my ambition, i slowly lose the confidence to do it as i really dont hv much confidence since i was small even n it sort of deplete by time. I started to think i cant do this n i worry i coulndt cope. What about my aims then?what about the expectations of people around me?what about the cost? What i have for back up? Eachtime i think of my course of choice, i couldnt imagine myself doin smth else in life, and at the same time, i think of the phrase ''ukur baju di badan sendiri'' . A voice kept tellin me that its too heavy but i kept telling myself as lonbg as i work for it, everything wud be alright. Its the battle against my senses. With no resolution.