Rambling

Hey peeps ...oh well,I don't think there are any left here. Time comes and it goes, tip tap tip tap I m in 3rd year :) I was really thankful that I've made it through . What's more coming of me? I am well,staring at the blank wall,trying to think the day tru. I am a lucky little girl they said and I believe myself,that I m ,and it was indeed me. And sometimes not me.still afraid of being hurt,trying to find my purpose in life. To get there. When all you re used to is being with yourself ,other things feels like it's a new exposure all over again. Anyway, in the end,it's the intrinsic motivation that will drive you foward

Sincerely ,
Me

A route diverging two

What kind of tingling sensation deep down inside?the butterflies in tummy?the clammy hands?palpitations?

That I should've bought you flowers,
And held your hand
Should've give you all my hours when I had a chance
Take to you to every party,cause I remembr all you wanna do was to dance..

Turn back time

It's been a while...

I used to think how we used to be...

When I past by places we've been together...

It reminds me of what our friendship have evolved ...

How we became best friends...

How you 're there to help me tru and how we get things done together

How we count on each other and not caring how or what people say

I can see through you no more...are you really still the same?

Or have you changed?

Did you use me in the past?

At least I felt so...

I know I shouldn't be selfish...

I've gt all I need...

But I need you as a friend..

Only you will know how to watch me save myself...

Hence I am lost

When no other soul can understands me the way you do

Without you

my friend ...

Take care

Those Sakura droplets...

It was a cold shabby path. People walk and never look back. Swiftly passes through the muddy ground. Leaving footsteps on the melted snow. Passer by weren't aware of what is revolving through... I stop and stare as the flowers bloom through the ancient tree .pink and it somewhat bring the sense of satisfaction and petty hope for us all. I walk through it again. The flowers were all Flowing in the wind ..settling down on the green long grasses,lying down fresh and all velvety on my feet. . I passed through. The next time, the Sakura were all soggy and wet... The trees began to bald itself and the flowers begin to disappear ...my petty little flowers. My heart sunk with them. Its winter again for me..it made me ponder ... All has been passing through us as we were so hectic n busy and has no time to keep in touch with ourselves...
Have I been someone else all these while? When can I actually be who I wanna be? Those smiles aren't they real ? Or they truly are but aren't belonging to me? I sensed guilt. Regret beyond compare...what can I do to find myself back? Who am I to do such request? Who am I?

Seeking within ~

What we see today,
Through the lacey truth,
Its time for us to question,
but who are we now,
to deserve an answer. 

The grins life display,
Merely as a dubious path,
For us to seek within the crimson dawn,
Between the breaches unsewn.

Cleanse the dusty soul,
embrace the inner within,
escape the sightless route,
start seeking with your heart.  

A mini post for a mini day out

I toss my shopping bags into the boot to release my now reddish hand and flushed face from the scorching heat *sounds like a garage full of Padinis' and Louboutins-look-alikes but nope! more towards Oreo's, a pack of fettuccine, a carton of milk,some dried mangoes, a bottle of orange juice and some chocolate bar..etc etc...grocery items..blah blah and YES i am expecting some guest! wee...An old time friend coming over for some girls day-in! cooking and baking n stuff...it sounds like i m catching up on childhood! Never too late isnt it *grins * Open the car door enter,fling my handbag over the seats to the back,adjust the seat,pull off my pair of garage heels and toss over to the back n strap on my seatbelt. Love to drive barefoot recently...give me more sense of control *bla bla bla skip all the miss-no-sense-of direction- thing and thanks to daddy built-in-my-head-gps , i reach home safe and sound.

Attente

Attentes. 

Leurs attentes. Votre attente. Mon attente.

puis-je remplir?

Je suis desole. Tres desolee. Je ne voudrais faire pas vous inquiet... je suis tres inquiet aussi.

~

Its time to grow up. 

Aged a year. Mentality should be as well. Have i grew? 

it was very unthoughtful to make people worry or angry isn't it at this age? 

sometimes i wonder will anyone ever understand me. 

I am not perfect myself. I am sorry I cant be perfect. 

I tend to over react when people step over my limit. 

There are times I have this inner battle on settling whats wrong or whats right. 

In the end, I silent up and keep it to myself and overnight the result tend to be better than if i voice out what ever it is in my mind. 

I am trying. I am trying to be whoever you need. 

Temper check. Tick. Voice check. Tick. Facial expression check. Tick. 

Maybe sometimes i just doesnt want the expectation .

 The pressure building. I just hope you would understand.Its not i did not think of it.

 I only want to tell you when the time is right. 

The road not taken

The Road Not Taken

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim
Because it was grassy and wanted wear,
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I marked the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way
I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I,
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference. 

Robert Frost

Used

Me. finally understood whats the meaning of being used. I want to say thanks for everything. Even if you are too ignorant to care.

Thoughts

Combating the steep wondering thought!

 Oh freakin out..got a class at 8.30 tomorrow but it doesnt seem like it put me tru any awakening.

 Notes piling up proud.,..aint doin anything about it... 

LOST . 

cant seem to find my self anymore...what more prove you want?

being awake at precisely 2.36 am doesnt mean i party all night, its kelantan mind you! 

My list to do has been smashed to the wall on the previous pms -mini fight session with the bf.

 Its been a while... we're on good terms. =) 

Realised I'ved been a little ignorant girl in kl really seriously doesnt help much! being ignorant n living my life at my own pace give me space i need!

 i m easily influenced by people...it made me miserable...='(

AND coming here has made me really reluctant to change but what choice i've got?

 It isnt like mcq question that you can simply pick the colour you like! dude ~ 

Moderation will be the word today

. I aint sure where i will go after life but i relly hope i can do what i want beforhand.

 Aimed to a good girl isnt it? 

being a faithful ordinary girl, in my own ordinary modest world. 

What my life got to offer? everything.  i need that motivation! 

i need to find out who I am. It aint easy  . Wana be a doc...wanna join MERCY..someone is waiting for me out there...i strongly believe ,wait for me =)

Tell me about it. I nm confused with whats wrong n whats right. 

I decided to stick to my own believes and ignore whats bad, take in whats good.

 n hope god will show me the way. God, i know I have you to count on. Stay with me,please? =)

 Tell me what should i do next. Where should i go...