A road to follow..

'Please...answer the phone...please', my heart cried...but there were no signal or any sign he is going to answer my call..the line just went off....i m not sure weather he switched off his phone or he is just plain avoiding me..i was worrying that this day, my life arranged by other people..judging my own life not me..i have no choice but to accept..i dialled his number that i searched in my phone book again..and there is no response.

He got to answer the call...he had to...its my future..he is the only one that can save me today..Oh god..where is he?Its the final day or we both will regret for life..i cannot find him anywhere..

I know...i have always knew,you did this to me for my own good..i dont have to wait for your answer for that..but..thats for your perspective..for me it doesnt signify the same as what you have been thinking..Now..I suffer as time passes..waiting for you to fetch me out of this life before tomorrow arrives and change our destiny.You did not call nor tell anything.

At night..I call you once more without any hope..but to my suprise..a person answered..she claimed she is your maid..i ask for you..and she said you werent home..and i asked her to pass the phone to someone else and she said okay..thus I spoken to your sister..Methyl Ng..(please dont question the name..i will tell you later whats going on..).

'Where has he been for days?'
'he went off somewhere'
'where?why?'
'he was ****** when he left.he couldnt take it so he had to go..he said it was for your own good'
'will he be home tonight?'
'i am not sure'
'can you gv me ur house number?'
'sure..-and she find it for me-'

Waiting the time to pass seemed so suffering for me..suffer for he dont know the pain i was going through..because he has done a wrong choice for leaving me here..but..somehow..I have a strong feeling that he suffers as much as i do..n that proves it when he went of ******.

if i am not mistaken..i was crying in the night..n i called again..i felt a tinge of relief when he answered my call..he said he will be back.tonight...

The next day..i've done what supposed to be done..what have been arranged for me...but..it wasnt me..i m viewing from a point of a third person..looking on whats going on...but as if i m the one going through it...felt the pain..

Later on... he came and ask me..has it been done?i said yes..with tears in my eyes...pain that stab through me...felt the urge to ask him of his thoughts..but i did not...then..when he is no where in sight..i called him..and he answered..

'Hello'
'its me here'
'Why did you did that to me!why dont you think of me and my feelings..It was so painful..i am so frustrated and now you make as if nothing happened'
'i am as hurt.I did that for your own good..please understand..its for your own good..'
'You did not think of my point of view..you think what you do is better for me but its not!I doubt it..look what have you done..look..just look..'For my own good??!If thats your opinion..you be prepared to take my body in the morgue!' and i shut my phone...

*********************************************************************************************************************
Today~
I Woken up with pain in my heart though it was a dream..whatever i told u at ta top is my dream..gudness...really..aftr i have woken up..felt the emptiness...gosh..i cant believe i can dream this...untill the whole day i was still in pain..hmm..now back to reality...i gotta have a human minute...dinner time....see ya..


~Me in dreams and reality~