y-o-u- w-o-n-t- s-u-r-v-i-ve t-h-i-s- -b-c-o-z- -i-t-s- -d-a-m-n- -l-o-n-g-..for goodness sake
You should say a loud shut up straight to my face for being bloody unbelievable, ridicously heart broken again..damn me..for crying out loud i m just an ordinary human! well undeniably with a funny mind.Yet, how can a person like me being heart broken again and again by the same person.and how unbelievable stupid i can be at times-well, i sort of edited that very fact-Why cant you make it less painful for me, with all these acts?to add my burden?Even me, as in myself i cannot deny that everytime i am with you, how much i enjoyed our times, believe it for you sake n my sanity, yes, i suffer as much, no doubt. Remember how i said girls have a good memory on their history?yes indeed, and i am not an exception.however my life goes on..hovered by clouds or not, still i hate to admit that, i m kinda fragile to accept these things. Well, its the matter of time before i just collapse if you couldnt mind less on my point of view.For our history, as i read you, you seem to guess my actions based on my prejudice indeed, well though at times yes but most of it no, because i wanted it badly that you and i can go on our lives happier than any other person. i wouldnt want you to suffer like me, most of it i did.you might not bother, you might not care but history is not a lie. I force my soul to forget our dark past, for heaven sake i force myself!every bit of laughter i admit wasnt a lie but every smile i show, wehtr you believe it or not, is very painful, evry laughter truly is a pain. I dont mind mch a that very time but i thought to myself, its worth it. worth the pain that i might as well crawl to your side begging not to leave me, but i know i wouldnt do that. I will let you choose your own road. You want to leave me?Thats fine indeed.Rather than the pain i suffer n the guilt for leaving you. I prefer, that you make the choice, at least it made you happy. You want it this way its fine with me. i cant admit i was quite dissapointed with you for you never learn from your mistake..oh sorry, you never learn form my mistake and the past. I thought you will change, but everyone said you wont.its your nature.you can never change.You will forever hurt me.You will forever kill me. I m dying inside and you wouldnt even care less because you just plain dont care.You do what you think good for yourself only. I would use the term selfish and greedy at the same time but please dont be offended. Its just my point of view. you will ask why, i will say, selfish for notcaring what the bloody thing i have been offended, for thinking of others-i will consider outsiders and people around you that you barely knew-you dont care what i think, you think of what people think what they think of you!greedy because you tend to want somethng else and left out the present.what?think whtr you hair looks nice?or your smile not enough real?well, for e i dont mind as long as you are YOU! i dont bloody care your hair is staright or curly or messy or tangled or a haystack!i dont mind!because we are friends!opps..at least i thought you were my friend.**** people just seem get their way in pissing me off.seriously. I even feel bad when i h--e y-- a-- y--- b----i--- b---- u-.good point now I DONT.because i dont blooody care.you all are in the same category ****.well i dont n i did not say i m nice or perfect..and i have no rights in saying these, coz you got a good option of tossing these back to my face!if you read this post..well i m darn sure you wont..because you dont even care.what a joke.good then..i wouldnt want any of these to be read by you anyway, its just to throw away my bloody anger.you might read this but again i dont bloody care.you can pm anyone for a zillion times and complain it was too much to call me.damn fact.damn excuse.fuh! okay, since i actually bear with it..great, tears after tears wasnt enough. now i m hurt again.i never want to start crying because if i does, it takes a long tym to keep me shut again.now i am waiting in the dark.waiting stupidly for you to come and pick me up and my shattered life.these days, i just recovered partially, i put a smile-no actually many smiles on my face-and laughter just to avoid the hurtful truth from seeping in my life and i end up crying all over the school. stupid enough because through out my whole life i dont cry in school till i was in grade 11. damn it.break my record.outstandingly.looking at you reminds me of the pain from the past but i need to for a smile.truthfully it does hurt. what a painful life to go on.sometimes i wished it wsnt me. i never imagined my ordinary life could be so dramatic. people gonna start calling me drama queen or emo queen,my god! how is that gonna work??you are hiding things from me.you broke your promise.YOU broke your promise.you broke my heart. you broke my hope.you broke my life..n i never expect you to come and fx it for me..no never! now, i had no option. sorry for letting go of you.i am very sorry. i am not that strong to bare your acts, breaking me again and again.i am not that though, i will try my best to be there for you if you needed me. if ever in your life you needed me there i will always be there. but, for now, i have to learn how to live my life alone. i am trying hard because i m and i will never get used to it to keep distance between us.i will never get used to it.i will miss every touch of yours, every memory and every time you scolded me no matter with reason or not, miss your calls-rarely these days- , miss your voice and most of all, miss your presence.its painfull for me o admit..but i am drifting off.. i m letting go..this actually broke my share of promise,i am really sincerely sorry, but just so you know, i love you, now and..forever..
~Fion~
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Saturday, June 20, 2009
y-o-u- w-o-n-t- s-u-r-v-i-ve t-h-i-s- -b-c-o-z- -i-t-s- -d-a-m-n- -l-o-n-g-..
y-o-u- w-o-n-t- s-u-r-v-i-ve t-h-i-s- -b-c-o-z- -i-t-s- -d-a-m-n- -l-o-n-g-..for goodness sake
You should say a loud shut up straight to my face for being bloody unbelievable, ridicously heart broken again..damn me..for crying out loud i m just an ordinary human! well undeniably with a funny mind.Yet, how can a person like me being heart broken again and again by the same person.and how unbelievable stupid i can be at times-well, i sort of edited that very fact-Why cant you make it less painful for me, with all these acts?to add my burden?Even me, as in myself i cannot deny that everytime i am with you, how much i enjoyed our times, believe it for you sake n my sanity, yes, i suffer as much, no doubt. Remember how i said girls have a good memory on their history?yes indeed, and i am not an exception.however my life goes on..hovered by clouds or not, still i hate to admit that, i m kinda fragile to accept these things. Well, its the matter of time before i just collapse if you couldnt mind less on my point of view.For our history, as i read you, you seem to guess my actions based on my prejudice indeed, well though at times yes but most of it no, because i wanted it badly that you and i can go on our lives happier than any other person. i wouldnt want you to suffer like me, most of it i did.you might not bother, you might not care but history is not a lie. I force my soul to forget our dark past, for heaven sake i force myself!every bit of laughter i admit wasnt a lie but every smile i show, wehtr you believe it or not, is very painful, evry laughter truly is a pain. I dont mind mch a that very time but i thought to myself, its worth it. worth the pain that i might as well crawl to your side begging not to leave me, but i know i wouldnt do that. I will let you choose your own road. You want to leave me?Thats fine indeed.Rather than the pain i suffer n the guilt for leaving you. I prefer, that you make the choice, at least it made you happy. You want it this way its fine with me. i cant admit i was quite dissapointed with you for you never learn from your mistake..oh sorry, you never learn form my mistake and the past. I thought you will change, but everyone said you wont.its your nature.you can never change.You will forever hurt me.You will forever kill me. I m dying inside and you wouldnt even care less because you just plain dont care.You do what you think good for yourself only. I would use the term selfish and greedy at the same time but please dont be offended. Its just my point of view. you will ask why, i will say, selfish for notcaring what the bloody thing i have been offended, for thinking of others-i will consider outsiders and people around you that you barely knew-you dont care what i think, you think of what people think what they think of you!greedy because you tend to want somethng else and left out the present.what?think whtr you hair looks nice?or your smile not enough real?well, for e i dont mind as long as you are YOU! i dont bloody care your hair is staright or curly or messy or tangled or a haystack!i dont mind!because we are friends!opps..at least i thought you were my friend.**** people just seem get their way in pissing me off.seriously. I even feel bad when i h--e y-- a-- y--- b----i--- b---- u-.good point now I DONT.because i dont blooody care.you all are in the same category ****.well i dont n i did not say i m nice or perfect..and i have no rights in saying these, coz you got a good option of tossing these back to my face!if you read this post..well i m darn sure you wont..because you dont even care.what a joke.good then..i wouldnt want any of these to be read by you anyway, its just to throw away my bloody anger.you might read this but again i dont bloody care.you can pm anyone for a zillion times and complain it was too much to call me.damn fact.damn excuse.fuh! okay, since i actually bear with it..great, tears after tears wasnt enough. now i m hurt again.i never want to start crying because if i does, it takes a long tym to keep me shut again.now i am waiting in the dark.waiting stupidly for you to come and pick me up and my shattered life.these days, i just recovered partially, i put a smile-no actually many smiles on my face-and laughter just to avoid the hurtful truth from seeping in my life and i end up crying all over the school. stupid enough because through out my whole life i dont cry in school till i was in grade 11. damn it.break my record.outstandingly.looking at you reminds me of the pain from the past but i need to for a smile.truthfully it does hurt. what a painful life to go on.sometimes i wished it wsnt me. i never imagined my ordinary life could be so dramatic. people gonna start calling me drama queen or emo queen,my god! how is that gonna work??you are hiding things from me.you broke your promise.YOU broke your promise.you broke my heart. you broke my hope.you broke my life..n i never expect you to come and fx it for me..no never! now, i had no option. sorry for letting go of you.i am very sorry. i am not that strong to bare your acts, breaking me again and again.i am not that though, i will try my best to be there for you if you needed me. if ever in your life you needed me there i will always be there. but, for now, i have to learn how to live my life alone. i am trying hard because i m and i will never get used to it to keep distance between us.i will never get used to it.i will miss every touch of yours, every memory and every time you scolded me no matter with reason or not, miss your calls-rarely these days- , miss your voice and most of all, miss your presence.its painfull for me o admit..but i am drifting off.. i m letting go..this actually broke my share of promise,i am really sincerely sorry, but just so you know, i love you, now and..forever..
~Fion~
You should say a loud shut up straight to my face for being bloody unbelievable, ridicously heart broken again..damn me..for crying out loud i m just an ordinary human! well undeniably with a funny mind.Yet, how can a person like me being heart broken again and again by the same person.and how unbelievable stupid i can be at times-well, i sort of edited that very fact-Why cant you make it less painful for me, with all these acts?to add my burden?Even me, as in myself i cannot deny that everytime i am with you, how much i enjoyed our times, believe it for you sake n my sanity, yes, i suffer as much, no doubt. Remember how i said girls have a good memory on their history?yes indeed, and i am not an exception.however my life goes on..hovered by clouds or not, still i hate to admit that, i m kinda fragile to accept these things. Well, its the matter of time before i just collapse if you couldnt mind less on my point of view.For our history, as i read you, you seem to guess my actions based on my prejudice indeed, well though at times yes but most of it no, because i wanted it badly that you and i can go on our lives happier than any other person. i wouldnt want you to suffer like me, most of it i did.you might not bother, you might not care but history is not a lie. I force my soul to forget our dark past, for heaven sake i force myself!every bit of laughter i admit wasnt a lie but every smile i show, wehtr you believe it or not, is very painful, evry laughter truly is a pain. I dont mind mch a that very time but i thought to myself, its worth it. worth the pain that i might as well crawl to your side begging not to leave me, but i know i wouldnt do that. I will let you choose your own road. You want to leave me?Thats fine indeed.Rather than the pain i suffer n the guilt for leaving you. I prefer, that you make the choice, at least it made you happy. You want it this way its fine with me. i cant admit i was quite dissapointed with you for you never learn from your mistake..oh sorry, you never learn form my mistake and the past. I thought you will change, but everyone said you wont.its your nature.you can never change.You will forever hurt me.You will forever kill me. I m dying inside and you wouldnt even care less because you just plain dont care.You do what you think good for yourself only. I would use the term selfish and greedy at the same time but please dont be offended. Its just my point of view. you will ask why, i will say, selfish for notcaring what the bloody thing i have been offended, for thinking of others-i will consider outsiders and people around you that you barely knew-you dont care what i think, you think of what people think what they think of you!greedy because you tend to want somethng else and left out the present.what?think whtr you hair looks nice?or your smile not enough real?well, for e i dont mind as long as you are YOU! i dont bloody care your hair is staright or curly or messy or tangled or a haystack!i dont mind!because we are friends!opps..at least i thought you were my friend.**** people just seem get their way in pissing me off.seriously. I even feel bad when i h--e y-- a-- y--- b----i--- b---- u-.good point now I DONT.because i dont blooody care.you all are in the same category ****.well i dont n i did not say i m nice or perfect..and i have no rights in saying these, coz you got a good option of tossing these back to my face!if you read this post..well i m darn sure you wont..because you dont even care.what a joke.good then..i wouldnt want any of these to be read by you anyway, its just to throw away my bloody anger.you might read this but again i dont bloody care.you can pm anyone for a zillion times and complain it was too much to call me.damn fact.damn excuse.fuh! okay, since i actually bear with it..great, tears after tears wasnt enough. now i m hurt again.i never want to start crying because if i does, it takes a long tym to keep me shut again.now i am waiting in the dark.waiting stupidly for you to come and pick me up and my shattered life.these days, i just recovered partially, i put a smile-no actually many smiles on my face-and laughter just to avoid the hurtful truth from seeping in my life and i end up crying all over the school. stupid enough because through out my whole life i dont cry in school till i was in grade 11. damn it.break my record.outstandingly.looking at you reminds me of the pain from the past but i need to for a smile.truthfully it does hurt. what a painful life to go on.sometimes i wished it wsnt me. i never imagined my ordinary life could be so dramatic. people gonna start calling me drama queen or emo queen,my god! how is that gonna work??you are hiding things from me.you broke your promise.YOU broke your promise.you broke my heart. you broke my hope.you broke my life..n i never expect you to come and fx it for me..no never! now, i had no option. sorry for letting go of you.i am very sorry. i am not that strong to bare your acts, breaking me again and again.i am not that though, i will try my best to be there for you if you needed me. if ever in your life you needed me there i will always be there. but, for now, i have to learn how to live my life alone. i am trying hard because i m and i will never get used to it to keep distance between us.i will never get used to it.i will miss every touch of yours, every memory and every time you scolded me no matter with reason or not, miss your calls-rarely these days- , miss your voice and most of all, miss your presence.its painfull for me o admit..but i am drifting off.. i m letting go..this actually broke my share of promise,i am really sincerely sorry, but just so you know, i love you, now and..forever..
~Fion~
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